Kevin's Watch

clearfrontier wrote:CIRCUMSTANCE


Stark against the backdrop of the cloudless sky, miniature cyclones of sparkling dust scaled into the air with energetic desperation and arcane intent. The fine, gray sand swept along the smooth contours of the dunes in wisps, like playful sprites dancing with unrestrained joy to a silent melody.

A lone spectator watched the distracting motion that passed across his view with subdued interest. Even with his body buried up to his nostrils, he retained enough clarity of vision to make out the soft details of the wind's effect on the very substance that was slowly squeezing the breath from his paralyzed chest. The effort of blowing sand away from his mouth had been abandoned after hours of fruitless exertion. Now only his sunburned nose stood between Garret Thomas and his inevitable fate.

Peaking above the nearby dunes Garret was able to glimpse sections of the spacecraft that had fallen upon the arid wasteland surrounding him. The triangle shaped tail, black against the bright blue of the horizon, was an enduring reminder that Garret was not himself a natural feature of the blank and colorless landscape. The sturdy fighter craft had served him ardently

... while combating the enemies of humankind but was finally sent spiraling to the surface of an inhospitable planet by alien weapons for which it had little defense. Upon impact, the stricken vessel plunged into the sand and ejected the unconscious pilot into a nearby dune. Garret lay unaware as his limp body slowly sank deeper and deeper until only his head remained exposed above the dusty surface. The initial panic he had suffered upon awakening sparked an extravagant clamor for freedom that had only produced torn sinew and agonizing internal hemorrhaging and after days of near constant struggle, the fruitlessness of his effort finally became evident. Before he realized it Garret gradually descended into a haze of morose acceptance.

Unable to turn away, Garret had little else to occupy his mind during the long hours but to stare hopelessly upon the landscape that stretched out before him. He noted a variety of small creatures that had arrived to investigate his presence in their habitat. Each one only stopping long enough to survey his exposed orifice while it blew cool air upon them in regular intervals. Once satisfied, the small mice, scorpions and snakes all moved on to more important business. Until Garret became a source of nourishment, he presented a passing curiosity and nothing more.

As his scorched and aching eyes flicked back and forth across the horizon, Garret watched as the late afternoon sky slowly modulated into a deep cerulean hue that seemed to shimmer in waves like an aerial ocean of kinetic energy. He realized that it would have been a breathtaking sight if the circumstances had been in any way less horrifying. After sunset, the star speckled evening sky would produce spectacular displays, as frequent meteor showers traced stunning interlaced web work images for an audience of one. The maddening beauty cast itself before him as if it were a deliberate agent of madness, bent on the destruction of his fragile human mind. A mind being eroded moment by moment by the ever-growing feeling of despair that heaped itself upon him with a ferocity that consumed his spirit as well as his physical fidelity.

Rescue was a kind of faint, half forgotten memory. The world was a place of rare beauty and intense pain. The end would be a release from the arduous burden of inhaling enough oxygen to keep his constricted lungs fed, but it would only come when the last drop of torment was squeezed from the depleted sponge of his being. Continued life had no purpose other than to serve as entertainment for the ravenous demons of his growing dementia. When the repeated attacks of hysteria took hold of his body, the eruption of internalized laughter remained confined within the prison of his crushed and failing chest. The product of his unwelcome spasms demanded a release. His eyes grew wide as spurts of crimson speckled the gray dust before him seemingly as a cruel reminder of the inevitable fate that hovered above him like the vulturine wings of his doom. He felt the end was quickly growing near and he could not contain himself any longer.

"God!"

Garret's thoughts resonated within his mind seeking a release for his suppressed anxiety.

"Am I so wretched that I have been forsaken so completely?"

A spasm of pain gripped the muscles of his face.

"Have I served so little purpose in this universe that I should be left to slowly die alone on this
lifeless world?"

Garret.

His eyelids began to flutter like the wings of a dying moth.

"I have served my world. I have defended the innocent billions of the earth with my one and only life."

The sides of his head throbbed intensely as though his pleas were about to burst out along with the pounding blood in his veins.

"Have I not earned a better fate than this?"

In the end, the finality of life without hope sapped the last shred of consciousness from Garret's exhausted mind.

You are not alone.

He was not aware of the dark shadow that descended upon his motionless form.

Do not lose hope.

He would not have believed in the substance of its reality had his awareness not deserted him.

Behold you are free.

Metal clamps encircled his limp and tattered body, carefully drawing Garret out of clinging sand. Thin, plastic probes carefully injected cool plasma into his withered, eager veins. Thick liquid salves were applied to his abused and burned skin.
You have indeed earned your freedom. Rise.

The rescue droid went about its business with detached efficiency. The healing of mortal flesh was well within its programmed parameters. The restoration of a tortured, human mind however, was an equation that could not be calculated by a simple device created by beings whose technical expertise fell short of the ability to comprehend the intricate pathways of hysterical madness or the elusive properties of the human soul.

Within the colorful landscape of Garret's new world, he silently stood upon the lush greenery of his delirium, stretched his arms wide with the cool breeze gently washing against his grateful face and smiled.

End

Within the colorful landscape of Garret's new world, he silently stood upon the lush greenery of his delirium

Skyweir wrote:i am confused by this expression .. despair consumed his physical fidelity? i dont understand the phrase "physical fidelity" in this context.

Skyweir wrote:

clearfrontier wrote:CIRCUMSTANCE

have a question regarding Garrets saviour .. you describe him as an emotionally detached drone .. whose interest is clinical and programmed ..yet is it he that utters the words of hope to Garrets mind? or is it some other force?

Secondly .. at the end you focus on Garrets consequential madness .. How long was he buried in the sand there? You explain well imho the limitations of the drones ability to attend to needs beyond that of his physical integrity .. and that is clear but the last sentence ..

Within the colorful landscape of Garret's new world, he silently stood upon the lush greenery of his delirium

seems a little incongruous ..

using expression like .. "lush greenery" seems incongruous with implying that .. he no longer possess lucid thought .. and that he "stands" upon his delerium .. this kind of implies that he stands submitting himself to this fate .. his delirium .. is this what you intended to say?

has he embraced his delirium ..

has he been saved .. only in time to salvage his physical form? but is lost to insanity?

if so .. what a bitter tragedy .. If the voice of hope was not the drone .. then what a cruel being .. that would tease him with the promise of a future short-changed ..

Excellent work .. I really enjoyed reading this piece .. I havent had time to get to the rest .. but will.

I have highlighted with bold the particular parts that i found exquisitely .. and have underlined what i didnt entirely get ..

I am not so bright .. so if I have misunderstood your meaning .. or the subtleties of your expression .. where this may be the case .. please explain if you are inclined to do so.

a pleasure to read .. i look forward to reading more

First of all, thanks very much or reading the story and the review was great.
On to the answers to your questions.
Garret is buried in the sand for about 5 earth days.
Garret's savior is an automated rescue robot/droid.
The dialog you see after Garret begins pleading in his mind to God, is God.
Garret is too far gone to hear or understand the voice or notice the rescue mech.
In my microsoft word version of the story the italics are present and are missing in my post. I'll have to edit that if I can.
In the end Garret is granted his request. A mental delusion/escape to a perfect happy world filled with "Lush Greenery" cool breezes. Its not much of a happy ending but since Garret can no longer tell the difference what difference does it make.

dAN wrote:

Skyweir wrote:i am confused by this expression .. despair consumed his physical fidelity? i dont understand the phrase "physical fidelity" in this context.

Sky, let me help you undestand this enigma known to us as Clearfrontier. He stole all his ideas from Donaldson. Every one. Why, I've even watched him shave with a hunting knife, a pen knife, and a bunsen burner, all at the same time. So, with that in mind, I think it's safe to say that Mr. Frontier is merely stating that at this point ion the story, Garret rescinds his Haruchai vow of service to the Lords.

Within the colorful landscape of Garret's new world, he silently stood upon the lush greenery of his delirium, stretched his arms wide with the cool breeze gently washing against his grateful face and smiled

Skyweir wrote:My confusion remains as to the use of this expression .. "despair consumed his physical fidelity" .. and notwithstanding its Donaldson-esque feel .. I can not imagine SRD using such an expression <verbatim>. LOL

I can however see him using .. "despair consumed his emotional fidelity" or his "intellectual/metal fidelity" ..

but i am ready to stand corrected if need be

Skyweir wrote:Clear - how is this a granting of Garret's request .... did GArret request insanity? is it even feasable that after 5 days under a scorching hot desert sun .. that he would be irreversibly insane?

Skyweir wrote:and if so .. and this God .. of yours is considered to have shown the mercy he clearly promised Garret .. then he is a cruel and strange God .. to pull such a cheap shot! at this seemingly good guy ..

Skyweir wrote:I say this as it is not every day a God speaks to man .. and in GArrets unique case .. it would have been more of a mercy to have let him die .. than contrive his release .. and his path into delirium ..

Skyweir wrote:Is this salvation??

Skyweir wrote:
Clear - how is this a granting of Garret's request .. p.s. <by the way Garret is one of my fav DS9 characters> <I only have maybe 3 Worf, DAx and GArret .. i dont mind the ferengi behind the bar either actually .. lol .. so that makes .. ok about 4 .. lol

but back to your excellent story clear .. did GArret request insanity? is it even feasable that after 5 days under a scorching hot desert sun .. that he would be irreversibly insane?

and if so .. and this God .. of yours is considered to have shown the mercy he clearly promised Garret .. then he is a cruel and strange God .. to pull such a cheap shot! at this seemingly good guy ..

I say this as it is not every day a God speaks to man .. and in GArrets unique case .. it would have been more of a mercy to have let him die .. than contrive his release .. and his path into delirium ..

Is this salvation??

dAN wrote: I would have to say that the emotional and mental fidelity went, leaving the physical body with no means to sustain itself.

dAN the Man wrote: Sure, he was in dire straits, but sooner or later it happens to everybody, in one form or another.

dAN wrote:I wouldn't base my theological beliefs on this short piece of fiction. When the alarm goes off Sunday morning, just get up and go to church. Trust me, you won't find the God Garret perceives anywhere in the Bible.

Skyweir wrote:I say this as it is not every day a God speaks to man .. and in GArrets unique case .. it would have been more of a mercy to have let him die .. than contrive his release .. and his path into delirium ..

"I tell you the truth; today you will be with me in paradise". That was Jesus on the cross speaking to the theif next to him. Alive, we apparently cannot achieve paradise. God knows we all try, but no matter how good life is, your mom gets cancer, your wife miscarries; something comes along to remind you that you're not in paradise. Now, perhaps Garret had not yet come to accept this God of his. In fact, perhaps her never even thought about his God his entire life until day 5. Perhaps if he died right then, he would have gone to his Hell. But his God, in His infinite mercy, found a way to give Garret a place to "go"; a place where he could, maybe for the first time in his life, truly ponder his God, and his own place in this world. In short, madness may have been the only path to Garret's enlightenment. Personally, I would have had the robot squeeze Garret's brains out onto the sand for the scorpion to eat, but that's just me.

Skyweir wrote:Is this salvation??

dANny boy wrote:I mean, is this real salvation or just Sear's salvation?

Skyweir wrote:you may have a better idea about this than i do LOL jk

Skyweir wrote:if Sears is equivalent to a generic brand alternative .. it seeming like a Sears salvation thing to me