Kevin's Watch

Hello all. We buried our grandmother yesterday after an extended battle with Alzheimers. This morning as I sat in the airport waiting to go home I wrote this for her.

Juliet, The Leaves Are Turning

Through the blurriness of my tired eyes
The leaves are turning today
I had forgotten what it felt like
To drown in the crimson and gold
I managed to keep my eyes on the road

These are the longer days
That still go by too fast
The waiting game takes forever
But you look up and the time is gone
Was it only yesterday that you recognized me?

It has been years since we shared
Anything beyond the doll you cradle
You reached out to it from time to time
It was the only thing you understood
My daughter will cradle it the same way

From fall to spring
From death to birth
We will hand down your final salvation
Your ultimate link to reality
This doll you embraced as you held each of your children

I knelt on the riser
Surrounded by family and strangers
And those that were both
Nestled in her toy dress, resting at your side
Her eyes betrayed her compassion

This tiny doll watched over you for all of us
She kept you safe all those empty days
Succeeding your babies in turn
Until her long duty ended
And I carried you to the church with my brethren

The leaves were falling to the ground
Driven there by the cold fall rain
We are all crying inside, wishing
To stop their journey to new life
But that only prolongs the pain

So let them turn
And be still.

Condolences Rd.

Loved the first verse. Drowning in crimson and gold...good stuff.

--A

That was really good. I am happy for you that you found a constructive outlet for your sadness.

Is the last line an homage to Donaldson's poem?
Be still, heart:
make no expostulation.
Hold peace and grief
and be still.

Perhaps an unconscious one. Or perhaps it is merely only two people independently expressing the same feeling the same way. Whatever it is, that makes it meaningful to me.

I am not sure it was an homage. I am aware of Donaldson's poem of course, but I started with the title and the ending to this poem (ha, another Donaldson quirk!) and worked from there. I could find no other words that really captured how I wanted it to end.

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. It's strange how such a personal and specific image, your grandmother's doll, allowed me to connect so quickly. I went through a similar time with my own grandmother this time last year. I know how terrible the "waiting game" is and I think you expressed it well especially in the second verse.

Sorry to hear of your loss, RD. For me, the 3rd verse connected best. We often give dolls to the little ladies in our nursing home. It's amazing how much comfort they get from these simple toys.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my grandmother to alzheimers and its ravages a few years ago. It isn't an easy passing.

I wish you and yours peace, you have earned it. Go hug those beautiful children of yours.

Very sorry Rdhopeca. That was a fantastic poem and I'm sure your grandmother is honored by your words. It certainly struck a chord with me.

Lovely poem, Rob... I'm saddened by your loss.

I lost both my Father's parents before I was born, and my Mother's in my teens. You honor your Grandmother greatly with your poem, and with all you have inside you.

rdhopeca wrote:...but I started with the title and the ending to this poem...

I do that all the time. Sometimes I start with just a line in the middle. In fact, I think all my poetry has started with only a single line "whole" in my head as it were.

--A

Sincere condolences Rob.

Your poem brought back memories of my grandmother who had also had Alzheimers - I found I could easily read your poem and relate. Lovely stuff.

rdhopeca, your poem strikes a chord with me, too. I hate with all my heart the diseases that ravage the mind.

My condolences to you Rob. Even if you know its coming it doesnt always make it easy. I love your poem... some really good stuff there. The way it you ended it is incredibly poignant and real.

In my own experience, my Grandmother practically raised me and when she passed away 10 years ago...has it been that long already?.... the world was all of a sudden less than it was in my perception.