Kevin's Watch

My cousin's wedding is this Saturday night.

We didn't really have the funds, but due to our particular relationship with these relatives, I went outside of her registry and selected a gift which I feel will have a lot of meaning to her and will be appreciated.

While not a one-of-a-kind work of art, it is unusual enough that I do not think I would find another anywhere locally, as I already ordered it online.

The piece arrived today, and except for one tiny little fault, is in perfect condition. However, knowing these relatives, should they spot the fault they may think I purposely bought a faulty piece at a cheaper price, which I did not do!

There is no way I could ship the piece back and request a replacement on time for the wedding Saturday night.

Do I gift the piece to them anyway?
If so, do I tell them after the wedding I am already aware of the fault and have contacted the artist to see what can be done to rectify it (which I just did via email)?

Or do I not bring the gift with us and tell my cousin her gift is "in the mail?"
*cringe*

I am a little confused about your relationship to these relatives. In the beginning of the post you give the impression that you have a special relationship with these particular relatives but toward the end of the post you imply they would / feel you were being cheap.

If these are special people they would never ever say you were cheap. If they are the type that would gossip that you bought a defective pieace of art then they are not worth the worry.

Yes! Give them the gift for sure. I would write a brief letter to go with the gift saying why you picked this particular piece. Then let go, let God.

You did your best.

I wish someone in my life would take the time to pick a particular piece out for me. I would feel very special.

lorin? wrote:I am a little confused about your relationship to these relatives. In the beginning of the post you give the impression that you have a special relationship with these particular relatives but toward the end of the post you imply they would / feel you were being cheap.

Well...it's complicated.

I lost my mom in 1981, when I was 21.
I lost my dad six years later.

My uncle, my cousin's dad, is my mom's step-brother, so while we were always invited to things like his children b'nai mitzvot and such, we didn't really get together all that much, even though we lived only about an hour away.

However, after Daddy died, all my sister and I had left was each other and she lived up in Pittsburgh to my south Florida. So, my aunt and uncle started inviting me to first night Passover seder every year, starting in 1988 and continued through meeting Hyperception, and Beorn being born, etc. We still make the trip down every year. So, since Passover is our main connection, I decided to get my cousin a seder plate, even though she didn't register for one.

I am not a fan of the traditional style of seder plates, so searched out different options and fell in love with this one.



The fault is on the "pyramid" itself. On the face of the pyramid are six decals. They are the Hebrew names of the ritual foods that are placed on the seder plate and the English equivalent below. The middle decal on the right is only half there. The top of the Hebrew letters is showing, but not the entire word and no English at all. It is for the Z'roa, the roasted shank bone. heh, considering how we are "borrowing from Peter to pay Paul" to pay for the seder plate and to make the trip down, the representation of the sacrifice being the fault is strangely apropos, now that I think about it.

It *should* be an easy fix, and as I said, one that might go unnoticed until it was taken to be used for the seder itself, if they use the decals to determine what needs to go on the seder plate. But, if they choose to look at it closely to see what the words are on the pyramid, it will be noticed right away, I think...

lorin? wrote:If these are special people they would never ever say you were cheap. If they are the type that would gossip that you bought a defective pieace of art then they are not worth the worry.

The relationship is special in the way I described above, but, they do know the choices Hyperception and I have made since Beorn's diagnoses. And they are not approving of our choices financially. So, yeah, there may be some gossip regarding the piece.

lorin? wrote:Yes! Give them the gift for sure. I would write a brief letter to go with the gift saying why you picked this particular piece. Then let go, let God.

You did your best.

hmm...
I didn't think of including an explanation.
I do like that idea.

lorin? wrote:I wish someone in my life would take the time to pick a particular piece out for me. I would feel very special.

Todah, lorin...

That is a lovely and unique gift. The thought put into selecting it ought to be apparent to any discerning recipient...but I understand your concern. For what an original artwork like that must have cost, you have the right to expect an unflawed piece, especially since it is to be a wedding gift.

I would very much hope that you could get a response from the artist/dealer in the day or two before you depart for the wedding. Be persistent in trying to reach them; when you do, let them know that this is being given at a wedding this weekend and that you know that they (the source of the piece) are as eager to make this right as you are, and work with them to get an acceptable resolution.

Ideally, they will rush-ship the replacement to where you wil be staying, so you can have that be the piece that gets delivered and the bridal couple need never know of the flawed piece. If they cannot achieve this, what is there best effort solution?

You may need to phone as well as email, and be firm about escalating whenever the current contact claims not to be able to do what it takes to make this right. Good luck -- you can do this!

An excellent response, SD.

If the artist simply cannot provide a replacement piece before the wedding, I would give the couple a card with a picture of the gift inside, and explain in the card what happened, and that you are having the artist ship the plate directly to them. Be sure to tell them that you were very distressed when you saw the flaw, and that you only sent the original back because you wanted their gift to be perfect.

I'd be really touched.

The couple might actually be glad to have the plate shipped to them instead of having one more gift to lug home after the reception (or arranging for someone else to do the schlepping for them while they jet off on their honeymoon).

Thanks SD.

The invoice inside the package does have a phone number.
It is not an (800) number, but I do have a Google Voice number I can use, so that shouldn't be a consideration.

The package was delivered after business hours, and by the time I unpacked it to look at it, I figured it was too late to call and reach anyone. I'll wait until 11:00 or so tomorrow, to see if they respond to my email; if I hear nothing then I'll call.

~*~edit~*~

ali, your post must have went up after I hit preview; it definitely wasn't there when I first responded.

So, if I can't get a replacement plate before the wedding, you are advocating the "your gift is in the mail" approach?

Given the narrow window of time before the wedding, I would not wait for an email response before calling. Since you are up early anyway, I would call as early as might reasonably be considered business hours where the vendor is located. This may also get you more quickly to someone who can take action rather than a phone droid functionary. One of my favorite tricks when I was actively in business was to call early so I could get to the decision-makers before their secretaries arrived and screened me out.

If you cannot get a satisfactory promise to ship a perfect replacement tomorrow for overnight delivery to you in time for the wedding, then Ali's suggestion is a good fall-back position -- not just that the gift is in the mail, but the specific approach she described. I might even have that picture and note prepared even if you get the vendor's promise (and a shipment tracking number!)...just in case FedEx muffs the delivery and you need to use the fall-back approach. Being prepared to deal with a contingency is the best way to ensure Murphy will not toss one your way.

Email them this thread. Surely they won't think you're so worried that you set all this up beforehand.

Personally, I wouldn't care if you gifted or not. I'd just be glad you came.

BTW, my signature wedding gift is a fifth of good liquor. I love the look on people's faces when I walk in with an unwrapped, unmarked bottle of the groom's fav hard liquor and authoritatively set it on the table.

Harbinger wrote:BTW, my signature wedding gift is a fifth of good liquor. I love the look on people's faces when I walk in with an unwrapped, unmarked bottle of the groom's fav hard liquor and authoritatively set it on the table.

But that just goes to show the complications of my relationship with them.
I honestly have no idea what the chossen's (groom's) favorite hard liquor is...

FYI...

I just got off the phone with the artisan's contact and was told "Gary" (I assume he means Gary Rosenthal, the artist himself) "isn't in yet. What we would do is to send you another one with a call tag to return the one you have. Let me take your name and number and we'll get back in touch with you."

That was at 8:30 am EST and they are in Maryland.
Should I call again at 9:15-ish? Or now wait for them to contact me? I did emphasize I need a perfect replacement before I leave on Friday (I told him I'm leaving Friday morning, whereas I'm loading the car then, but we're actually hitting the road once Beorn gets out of school).

*third post in a row, my apologies*

Looks like SD's advice to call first thing paid off...
Thanks!

Gary Rosenthal wrote:Hi Pamela, let me apologize. We guarantee the quality of our work and although I know we can't be perfect I still take every error personally and
am embarrassed by our mistake! I am copying my silkscreen and shipping staff on this email and we will check all of the unshipped seder plates to make sure they are all perfect.

Now what do we do? I have one of your seder plates that we can overnight at our expense today for arrival tomorrow. If you send me your address you will have a new one tomorrow. We will include a pick up label so that you can send the other one back in the same box.

Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience.

gary

*sending reply with my address now, emphasizing that with Shabbat coming in earlier the earlier in the day the delivery is made, the earlier we will then be able to hit the road*

Cool. Make sure you have the shipment tracking number for the replacement, so you can monitor its progress and contact FedEx (or whomever) if the delivery has not been made by the time you need to depart. If necessary, you can have them tell you where to intercept the specific van on its local route to pick the shipment up before you leave Gator Town.

Savor Dam wrote:If necessary, you can have them tell you where to intercept the specific van on its local route to pick the shipment up before you leave Gator Town.

They would do that??

My experiences doing so were as an established business customer in cases where FedEx had already badly messed up a delivery and I needed to get the item from them NOW in order to salvage a site opening or other high-profile event.

Not sure they will do it for a one-off residential delivery, but get the tracking number so you can keep track of the package. If nothing else, you may be able to identify when it arrives at the local depot and (if there is risk of the local delivery not being in time) you can have them hold it at the depot for you to pick up there rather than wait for the local guy to wind his way to you.

Menolly wrote:

Savor Dam wrote:If necessary, you can have them tell you where to intercept the specific van on its local route to pick the shipment up before you leave Gator Town.

They would do that??

make them do the impossible...........

Success!!

New piece delivered in perfect condition.
Well, now the "marble" on the front of the "pyramid" seems to have a slight fault, but I assume that would be considered the individualism of the piece. Everything else is perfect.

The only problem was that they said they would include a call tag for me to ship the faulty piece back, and they did not. I am not going to sweat it though. I'll handle that via email, and if they don't send me a tag by the end of next week, I'll start calling again.

Thank you all for your terrific advice!

Yay!

All's well that ends well.