Kevin's Watch

I had a very strange encounter, and a bit of guilt, and just want to mention it.

Last night, me and my 7 month old boy were sleeping on the recliner, and I woke up hearing the doorbell ring. I opened it and there was a little Latino kid there who didn't say anything. I asked if I could help him and he started crying. I asked what was going on and I couldn't make out what he was saying (I don't know if he was speaking Spanish or English, but I definitely don't speak Little Kid Crying yet). I asked where his mom is and he pointed down the block. I'm half asleep still, so with my boy in arms, I tossed on some shoes and, without a coat or anything warmer than his jammies, I go out into the cold to help this kid back to his mom. I ask again, and he points to a place at the end of the block that caught fire a couple months ago that they have been working on restoring. I didn't think it was fixed yet, but hey. Some Latino guy gets out of his car, and he looks over at first like he knows the kid, and so I ask if he knows this kid, and he says no. He offers something like "maybe you should call the cops," but I think his house might be nearby, so I continue on. When we get close to the burn house, he points across the street to a small grocery/convenience sized store that Spanish is the primary language when I ask him again. About this point I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable as the doormat didn't really allow me to shut the door all the way, and my boy is cold and so am I, though he's not fussing. So I walk him across the street to the store, out of sight from my door, which is making me then wonder if it is some kinda ruse to lure me out to make someone else's Christmas a bit brighter. You hear about weird crap all the time around the holidays, so I was starting to get more uncomfortable. After getting across a somewhat busy street, I ask again and he points down the block. I say that I need to get my kid back indoors, but to go on into the store and ask them for help, thinking he'd be safer in a public place. He starts crying again, and so I lead him in. In there, I start explaining to the guy at the counter what happened, and that I need to get my kid to warmth. Some guys say something to the kid, and start taking off his backpack. I then excuse myself, unfortunately while they are distracted, but I'm thinking of my own boy.

I go back across the street and the one guy I saw before is standing out with his wife. I say I don't know what that was all about, but I need to get my boy in. I go back home, making sure everything is as it should be and started feeling guilty that I just kinda left, but I didn't know what else to do.

I call my wife at work and she tells me that she heard it was a kid in the house that was playing with matches and set fire to the house, and that he had gone to a neighbor's house crying and that was when the police and fire were called. I remember the day it happened, as there was a Latino family sitting on the sidewalk. Not freaking out or looking stressed or anything - just sitting out there like they were having a picnic. I noticed the burns after seeing them out there. So she thought it might have been the same kid trying to get attention, but my question is...where the hell was his parents? I'm not a good judge of kid ages, but he looked under 5.

So am I a bad person?

Cagliostro wrote:So am I a bad person?

No, you are not.
Though I hate to admit it, you did more than I would have.
For fear of the boy potentially accusing me of harmful acts against him, I would not have invited him in.
Nor would I have gone with him in search of his family; definitely not without making sure my own home was safely secured.

I would have probably grabbed something warm for him to wear, done the same for myself and my infant, called the police about a lost child, and waited with him on my doorstep for the police to arrive.

Then have left him in their hands, while possibly offering up a wish that he is placed in the best possible situation for him. At that point, let go and let G-d.

But that's me.
You did what was right for you.
And the boy was with people who could better understand him.
You did good, Cag.

Menolly wrote: For fear of the boy potentially accusing me of harmful acts against him, I would not have invited him in.

I didn't, but it was cold enough that I wasn't going to make him sit outside waiting either. I really thought I was just going down the block when I initially walked outside. And seriously, I was a little sleep dazed.

That's kinda what Carla said as well; that I had done more than she would have. But Carla can be a little cold at times.

I think your response was perfectly fine, Cag. Good job.

Don't think you did anything wrong. I, personally would have called the cops to sort the whole thing out.

In fact, I would still call the cops and make a report. Any <5 year old that reaches out to a stranger has something on his mind.

It's an awful world when you suspect someone is using a kid to distract you so they can burgle your house - but yes, I would've suspected the same and you did good, Cag, especially with a kid of your own involved!

You did better than most folks, I imagine, in trying to directly help the kid. I would have gone to a neighbors and called the cops just to have a witness that nothing untoward happened; that's how bad perhaps society has gotten: fear of getting in trouble even when wanting to help others. Your saving grace was having your own baby in hand as you helped another kid; have a single adult male help a lost crying boy by walking down the street and every eye on that duo would be raised in suspect.

I think I would have just tried to keep him safe and called the cops.
I'm glad you did what you did but I never would have done it with my baby in my arms in the middle of the night.

I hate to sound cynical, but you should have kept the kid on your doorstep and called the cops for advise on proper procedure immediately. Even taking the kid in out of the cold can be un-PC (possibly construed as abduction by a parent watching nearby-setting you up so to speak). Yes, the games people play nowadays seem downright stupid an mindboggling, but they, still, can get you in trouble....

I think you did above and beyond what was required of you to do "the right thing"... though not enough to have a holiday carol written about it

Don't beat yourself up, as has been stated, you've done what needed to be done and then some under the circumstances.

Sounds fine to me. Luckily (or maybe not), in this country, a diversion while your house gets robbed is a lot more likely than accusations of "impropriety." *shakes head*

--A

Yeah, I would've just called the cops and then let the boy come in until they got there. Actually had a similar situation about a year and a half ago. I saw two little kids (maybe 2 and 4) playing across the street early in the morning after my son got on the bus. Called the cops and fed them breakfast. The cops showed up and looked around for the parents. After they had no luck with that, they were going to take them... wherever they take kids, so I got ready for wherever I was going. They were still outside when I left, and I saw them talking to the mother. Never heard anything else about it.

But Carla can be a little cold at times.

Not a Hebrew name, but in Hebrew Carla means "she's cold."

You should have called the cops for something like that.

Something similar to that happened to me about a dozen years ago. Save it was on the other end of the age spectrum. About 2:30 am one morning there was an old fellow about 85 or so came up the back porch knocking on the door. He'd seen the outside light on and had come up. He had no idea where he was and wasn't drunk. I asked him his name and where he lived and his response John and that he lived by a cornfield. Not very helpful directions in Illinois. I gave him a glass of water and took him down the road to the police station. After telling me I should have called county since I didn't live in the village, (sorry, Barney) the officer on duty called the rescue squad. They took him in and I never heard another word about it.

You offered what help anyone could ask of you.

I live in a rather nice neighbourhood, so I recon I'd have done something like you did (perhaps I would have wrapped up the baby a little bit more ). But living in Johannesburg, I would have done nothing of the sort, that's for sure.

Edit: Actually in my paranoid period, I probably wouldn't even have opened the door. I would have called The Man, and shoved a blanket and a cookie through the letter slot!

I think I'm in a sheltered part of the world (or naive, or a sucker etc...)! I would have let him in, given him blankets and food, called the cops. But I'm also in a street where we know or at least recognise our neighbours, so I may have known if he was a stranger to the area.