Kevin's Watch

Remember when we used to post 3 or 4 hundred times a day in this forum? Remember how much fun it was spamming the living crap out of the Watch and laughing all the way home?

What ever happenend to those glorious days? Now folks post 3 or 4 times more often in the Tank. The Tank?!? Are you kidding me?

Anyway I'll kick things off with "A".

Aliens from Rigel Kentaurus used advanced mind control techniques to influence our posting habits in an attempt to create a specific coded pattern in the position and text of the Watch so that if it was examined properly would spell out the word "BOOGER".

Back in the early 21st century, there was a war on the Watch. It was known as the ALT+255 War. The Illuimed fought valiantly against the forces of the Dark Bird. Eventually, the Illuimed defeated the evil, but in the process, the Ritual of Spamification was enacted. With the battle temporarily going his way, the Dark Bird used his powers to alter the sun to do his bidding. While under the Sun of Postilence, Mallory's grew unnaturally, eventually leaving Mallorys a veritable wasteland. The rebuilding process has been slow, but one day, Mallorys will return to its former glory. Still, I hope never to again see the post counts we had under the Sun of Postilence. Another side effect of all this is that we once got WGD$ for posting here, but now we just get lousy tokens.

That's the real reason, but you guys go ahead and make up alphabetical excuses, as it'll be entertaining.

Chomley Booger's schooldays were a nightmare. The rest of the kids were constantly picking on him because of his name. It left Chomley in a perpetual state of misery. So when he was old enough he had his name changed...from Chomley Booger, to Chunky Booger.

This did the trick. He soon met a beautiful girl by the name of Bagof Nails and they were married in the Spring. They had three lovely daughters, Snotter, Dewdrop, and Crust. And as the saying goes...they all lived happily ever after.

So what's all this got to do with the lack of posts in Mallory you might ask!

- Absolutely nothing.

Damned if I know...

Eager to challenge Tank hegemony

Frankly...

Frankly...
I still don't have a damn on what happened to Mallory's...

(I that right grammer or am I talkin' Redneck?)

Great balls of fire were unleashed into Mallory's by the former High Lord Jerry son of Elmo, who got fed up hearing "you win again" announced to aTOMiC all the time, whom Jerry thought had a cold, cold heart. So after a whole lotta shakin' goin' on and Watchers running around flailing their crazy arms, Mallory's was left in ruins.

Hell if I know...

In a terrific explosion, Crappy Alpha VI destroyed itself, and shifted the orbit of Mallory II. Much of the planet was laid waste, and it was only the genetically engineered intellect of aTOMiC that allowed the remaining members of the Bogus Bay to survive. "Admiral" Jay never bothered to check on their progress...

just when it seemed Mallory's would rule the Watch; Sgt.Null was banned by the Inner Circle.

Avatar feared that his Tank would lose posters to the Siren call of the gaming community.

Jen just couldn't figure out the games.

Cail just disliked anything to do with Null.

Dandelion and Tom couldn't control Null and had to banish him.

Loremaster and Luci were jealous of Null's post count and wanted to split his posts between them. but Null used his Oddjack avatar to create a Ward against that.

Menolly and Ali just despised Null's 70's Pimp suit.

but through the Magicks of Zef (the Shunned One) Null was able to find his way back. using the Helm of Esmer; Null has returned!

Kept in the cellar by his evil aunt Gertrude for hours longer than was usual, little null had an epiphany. He could hide here any time he wanted, and nocody would look for him. So the cellar became a place of solitude, rather than the place of fear it had been all his short life. It was still dark, still damp; but now he found it comforting. Null explored every corner of his new domicile. He found several old tools, an abandoned tricycle, a pair of binoculars, an old lawnmower engine, several feet of rope, and an old vice. He also found a mouse, whom he called Mallory. Null loved Mallory; he brought the diminutive rodent cheese, bread, or cookies whenever he could. Null told his deepest, darkest secrets to mallory, too. One day, at school, one of the usual bullies chided null, saying he was an epic overposter. Null was crushed. No one was supposed to know null's aunt had forced him to go to several Overposter's Anonymous meetings, as null had never mentioned it to a living soul. Well, except for Mallory. Furious, null ran home. Quietly creeping past his aunt's room, null entered the cellar, with revenge on his juvenile brain. Null grabbed the rusty hammer in his sweaty hand, and held out a slice of cheese in his other hand, sweetly calling for Mallory.

But Mallory didn't come.

Looking around, null realized that the trike, engine, and rope had also disappeared. Also, null now noticed, the cellar window was unlocked; ajar.

Absentmindedly grabbing the binoculars, null quickly left the cellar. Null went out back, where he found the tricycle tracks and an empty gas can. Looking out in the direction the tracks went, null saw a startling site. Using the binoculars, null witnessed what appeared to be a castle, ascending above a plume of billowing smoke, hurtling towards the stars. Atop the castle was a man, dressed like a king, or perhaps a sorcerer, laughing like a drunken clown. And on his shoulder perched Mallory, who was looking straight at null, and flipping him a bird.

Nobody has seen Mallory since.

wow - bravo

It's all true; I was there!

LOOK!
dANdeLION appeared out of nowhere and stepped things up a notch!
(Great post!)
THAT'S what happened to Mallory's.
Things just keep getting better.

mad tankers decided to drive away those of us rocking mallory's.



and what i wouldn't give to rock mallory. if you know what i mean, nudge - nudge - wink - wink - nods as good as a wink to a blind judge - or whatever that goes.

newly awakened - sgtnull claims his birthright - and starts the mallorys posting anew...

Out of info on how it was, apart from the amount of old posts, but it feels like work to do

it is not work - but fun - let the madness sway, swing and TROT!!!

it is better than that and those who lie will lay forth and be banished fences fourth, third, seconded at third.

post above ruins the abc order!

I followed, and "work to do" meant something that has to be done - it's fun at the same time - all the better

quietly i am trying to destroy the validty of known usa based abc system...