Kevin's Watch

Dance like No one's watching

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we will be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teen-agers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It is best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D'Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special; special enough to spend your time - and remember that time waits for no one…..

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose 10 pounds, until you gain 10 pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or 15th, until your song comes on, until you have had a drink, until you have sobered up, until you die - to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

lorin wrote:Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

I've been saying that, especially in regards to my quest for the white gold ring here on the Watch, for years.

If you have to move
even one inch from where
you are right now to be happy,
you probably never will be.

--A

Avatar wrote:

If you have to move
even one inch from where
you are right now to be happy,
you probably never will be.

--A

not sure about that one

I saw Dina at the party tonight. She smiled brightly and said, "This year I decided to give up suffering."

-Hugh Prather

A fool is “happy” when his cravings are satisfied. A warrior is happy without reason.

-Dan Millman's Way of the Peaceful Warrior

There is no way to happiness - happiness is the way.

-Buddha

In the true order of things one does not do something in order to be happy - one is happy and, hence, does something. One does not do some things in order to be compassionate, one is compassionate and, hence, acts in a certain way. The soul’s decision precedes the body’s action in a highly conscious person. Only an unconscious person attempts to produce a state of the soul through something the body is doing.

-Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations With God

Pleasures conceived in the world of the senses have a beginning and an end and give birth to misery, Arjuna. The wise do not look for happiness in them. But those who overcome the impulses of lust and anger which arise in the body are made whole and live in joy. They find their joy, their rest, and their light completely within themselves.

-Sri Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

-Margaret Lee Runbeck

Oh, ho, listen, Man, and we'll tell you everything! Do you hear the waves whispering the secret? We know you know, Man. The secret of life is just sheer joy, and joy is everywhere. Joy is what we were made for. It is in the rush of the nighttime surf and in the beach rocks and in the salt and the air and in the water we breathe and deep, deep within the blood. And the sifting ocean sands and the wriggling silverfish and the hooded greens of the shallows and the purple deeps and in the oyster's crusty shell and the pink reefs and even in the muck of the ocean's floor, joy, joy, joy!

-Neverness

Nice Fist.

Yup, all good stuff, everybody.

lorin wrote:

Avatar wrote:

If you have to move
even one inch from where
you are right now to be happy,
you probably never will be.

--A

not sure about that one

If you always need to have something else, or be somewhere else, in order to be happy, you'll probably always need something else, even when you get what you thought would make you happy in the first place.

Fist wrote:

I saw Dina at the party tonight. She smiled brightly and said, "This year I decided to give up suffering."

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was asked to give up and I have suffered, but I have not been enlightened. What should I do?"

Otis replied, "Give up suffering." -- Camden Benares, "Zen Without Zen Masters"

--A

Avatar wrote:

lorin wrote:

Avatar wrote: --A

not sure about that one

If you always need to have something else, or be somewhere else, in order to be happy, you'll probably always need something else, even when you get what you thought would make you happy in the first place.

--A

that makes me feel hopeless. the "always" and the "never" feel terminal. I'd like to believe that even though I seek geographical cures and may seek some solace in "things" at times that there is still hope for me.

There's *always* hope, lorin.

Avatar wrote:

lorin wrote:

Avatar wrote: --A

not sure about that one

If you always need to have something else, or be somewhere else, in order to be happy, you'll probably always need something else, even when you get what you thought would make you happy in the first place.

The more I had, the less I felt. The more I had the less I became myself. The longer I thought I needed something, the closer I got to that feeling that having it would mean wholeness. And when I got it, wholeness faded—loomed round and circular to nothing and forced my eyes to see.

I had been searching for happiness, having found it not in dry, dirt objects. So I looked in books for abstract ideals and the words of men—sounds and clacks that divided air. Both were nothing feeding nothing. I never found what he wanted me to find. I never—I just wish—I should have done it a long time ago, before the war. I should have put the metal in my mouth, pulled the trigger. Should have just ended this in some woods and let them find nothing. Should have been clean, no clean-up no mess. Should’ve never spoken never loved never put warmth in my mouth heart in my earth and I enjoyed it so much but lost it. I enjoyed you, while I had you. I loved you. I loved you.

I’ve had dreams where I’ve wept and apologized, until I awoke knowing with full certainty that my face was a smear of tears. But my hands felt my lids and dragged along dry skin. I kept waiting, unbelieving. It’s impossible to not be dry, having cried out so much in dreams. How can I not. Why haven’t I. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. God forgive me. God forgive. I’m sorry.

That was me in 2007. And as much as I agreed with you there, Av, I disagree now. A person can find happiness if they search long enough and if they give themselves enough time and make the right choices. And sometimes it takes a lot of pain before you can see the right choices.

How easy is it to find happiness and listen to your true heart's song? Hard sometimes. Just as it takes a long time for a person to lose weight or get in shape and listen to their body.

Most people care too much. Stop caring; let it all go, and you'll get to inner peace quicker... The past is dead anyway. You can't go back to all the old turns you made in the road, so keep moving. You're here now, and all your pain and happiness are right in front of you, and you can control and access both! They can serve you or you them, and the choice is as easy as walking through a door.

And yes, just dance -- www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X3rdMbYd2k&feature=related

just remember - wherever you go, there you are.

Earthblood wrote:just remember - wherever you go, there you are.

Yup, always a good thing to remember, especially if you think moving somewhere else will make your life perfect. <ali gives herself a stern look>

lorin wrote: that makes me feel hopeless. the "always" and the "never" feel terminal. I'd like to believe that even though I seek geographical cures and may seek some solace in "things" at times that there is still hope for me.

Of course. I just think that our happiness shouldn't be tied up in material requirements. If you can't be happy with what you've got, getting more stuff or different stuff (or going some place else) is probably not going to be enough in the long run. Because there is always more stuff you'll want, or other places you'll want to go. And those will become the things you "need" to be happy.

If you can be happy with what you've got, you'll be happy even if you get more stuff, or even if you lose stuff.

Richard Bach wrote:You know Sam, there will never live anyone who will ever own more than his own thoughts. Not people, not places, not things will we ever keep for possessions through vast times. Walk a little while with them we can, but soon or late, we'll each take our own true possessions - what we've learned, how we think - and go seperately around our lonely turnings.

Foul wrote:And as much as I agreed with you there, Av, I disagree now. A person can find happiness if they search long enough and if they give themselves enough time and make the right choices. And sometimes it takes a lot of pain before you can see the right choices.

How easy is it to find happiness and listen to your true heart's song? Hard sometimes. Just as it takes a long time for a person to lose weight or get in shape and listen to their body.

Most people care too much. Stop caring; let it all go, and you'll get to inner peace quicker... The past is dead anyway. You can't go back to all the old turns you made in the road, so keep moving. You're here now, and all your pain and happiness are right in front of you, and you can control and access both! They can serve you or you them, and the choice is as easy as walking through a door.

None of which contradicts what I said.

You're here now. Be happy with it. Don't look to the future for it, don't look to the past. Find it right now in your head and take it around with you.

--A

The problem is wanting. If you want, you'll always want. There won't come a point where you say, "There, I did it! I now have everything I need to make me happy! I can stop getting things. I can finally be happy!" As soon as you get the thing you want, you fine another thing to want. You need to not think happiness comes from acquiring this or that. Then you can stop wanting things, acquiring them, and still not achieving happiness.

Avatar wrote:

lorin wrote: that makes me feel hopeless. the "always" and the "never" feel terminal. I'd like to believe that even though I seek geographical cures and may seek some solace in "things" at times that there is still hope for me.

Of course. I just think that our happiness shouldn't be tied up in material requirements. If you can't be happy with what you've got, getting more stuff or different stuff (or going some place else) is probably not going to be enough in the long run. Because there is always more stuff you'll want, or other places you'll want to go. And those will become the things you "need" to be happy.

If you can be happy with what you've got, you'll be happy even if you get more stuff, or even if you lose stuff.

Fist and Faith wrote:The problem is wanting. If you want, you'll always want. There won't come a point where you say, "There, I did it! I now have everything I need to make me happy! I can stop getting things. I can finally be happy!" As soon as you get the thing you want, you fine another thing to want. You need to not think happiness comes from acquiring this or that. Then you can stop wanting things, acquiring them, and still not achieving happiness.

*can't find a "what they said" emote*

so...

Fist and Faith wrote:The problem is wanting. If you want, you'll always want. There won't come a point where you say, "There, I did it! I now have everything I need to make me happy! I can stop getting things. I can finally be happy!" As soon as you get the thing you want, you fine another thing to want. You need to not think happiness comes from acquiring this or that. Then you can stop wanting things, acquiring them, and still not achieving happiness.

That 'wanting" got me into a lot of trouble in the last few years. I wanted to buy a home, so I bought a home, disregarded every internal warning that should have kept me in my little apartment. If I knew then what I am learning now.....................ah well, learning to be content is a skill I am just developing.

lorin wrote:I wanted to buy a home, so I bought a home, disregarded every internal warning that should have kept me in my little apartment. If I knew then what I am learning now...

Lorin, there is no shame in that. You are one of literally millions who were actively drawn into a scam, seduced into real estate deals that neither they nor the financial system could sustain.

Setting aside all the larger social issues, it is a crying shame that someone who has reached your point in life and who has done so much to try to raise up the lives of others should get the short end of the deal in so many respects.

Not fair!

Lorin wrote:...learning to be content is a skill I am just developing.

Don't worry about it. Some people never get it right. Like Foul said...sometimes (usually) you have to suffer first. Builds character.

--A