Kevin's Watch

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you're trying to do something very simple and some minor thing keeps preventing you from doing it?
Oh my God I just spent three hours going through a google rat maze of bullsh*t trying to find wallpaper for my cell phone.
Now I'm not asking for much, here. Its a simple flip phone with MIDI ringtones and pixelated graphics. It came with a selection of stupid wallpaper, and I thought why don't I see if I can find something cooler.
So the first place I go to asks for my phone number and when I put it in it gives me a pop up dialog box that says:
"not a valid phone number. please try again."
I keep looking up various permutations of "free wallpaper verizon cell phone."
Of course, half of what I get isn't even cell phone wallpaper, its computer wallpaper, which is meaningless because basically any f*cking picture you want is wallpaper.
I try one site and I get a text message back that says: premium service blocked or not available on this phone.
And it keeps calling me and leaving this message over and over until I tell them to stop.
Meanwhile, I find that half of the websites that allow you to browse for wallpaper or create your own re-direct you to that same f*cking website that gives me the error message that my phone number is not valid!
I browse verizon's website, thinking, okay I'll spend a couple of bucks and see what they got.
Lame stuff.
It is front loaded with holliday crap. The categories are stupid. When you look up music, what do you get? The first f*cking row of selections is (I swear I'm not making this up) Justin Beiber!
On top of that, the page does not scroll unless you put your mouse on the scroll bar and drag it.
You can't just click on the window and scroll with the wheel.
And everything took forever to load-- I mean you click on the thing you want and it acts like you're clicking on text for about a minute before it decides to load the b*tch.
So after going through this asinine rat maze I decide to contact the one that kept giving me the error message and asking somebody that the f*cking problem was.
It says, bla bla bla, fill out the contact box below...
Wow!
THERE IS NO F*CKING CONTACT BOX!!!!!!!!
Sounds like a bad joke, but every f*cking word is true!

None of this surprises me.

Also, I totally do not get the deal with Justin Bieber. Am I getting too old?

ugh..screw Bieber.
I shudder every time I shelve his CD in the kids music section...

Strangely enough, I've having much the same kind of day, except I actually dreamt last night about frustrating times with the people I support at my job. And I get to work, and get calls from some blindingly stupid people today. I could not get one of the people to identify the computer tower. I honestly think she just didn't want to and realized if she played dumb, and I mean really dumb, she wouldn't have to. All I wanted her to do was turn it off and then back on again. It was getting to where I was asking her to trace the cord from the monitor to the computer tower. When she then hung up on me, I realized that she just didn't want to try. At least I hope so, because nobody is that dumb. Otherwise, how does she function? I don't know how much simpler I could have made my instructions.

Justin Bieber? More like Justin Beaver, amirite?

Also, he sounds incredible slowed down 800 percent.

aliantha wrote:None of this surprises me.

Also, I totally do not get the deal with Justin Bieber. Am I getting too old?

Well, if by "too old," you mean "not a pimpled, squealing virgin on the cusp of adolesence, ripe to have your budding sexuality played upon and exploited, while your parents are re-assured by the fact that the focus of your breathless, naive erotic fantasies is wearing a chastity ring, and so is obviously no threat to the purity of their offspring"...then yeah. You're too old.

Would the mother's of those pimpled, squealing virgins be the ones who had orgasms while watching the Beatles play?

Quite likely. Although, if they're the type of mother to be impressed by a chastity ring, perhaps not.

Justin Bieber is devil spawn like Sarah Palin and Glen Beck...

I keep telling you guys: Mercury's in retrograde, everything's screwy...

Fist and Faith wrote:Would the mother's of those pimpled, squealing virgins be the ones who had orgasms while watching the Beatles play?

More likely grandma...unless those pimpled, squealing virgins were begat quite late in mom's life.

You must be blessed , because the closest thing to a living nightmare in your life is going thru the rigamarole of getting " cool" wallpaper for your....cellphone. You see,,a real living nightmare is when you can't find Toilet Paper when you need it the most!

I was at uni once when that happened to me. Some guy heard me swearing and slid a roll under from the next cubicle, without saying a word. What a legend.