Kevin's Watch

Rule #1. Please talk (write) about fight club thats the whole point.
Rule #2. Start with an apology ( if this has been done I apologize in advance, and trust the moderators to take appropriate action.)

So it occurred to me that when I was a young lad I liked to play with toys. Action figures, and their accessories to be specific. This was followed by the realization that I was not very exclusive about the type, or brand, or backstory of any of them. I had G.I. Joe's, Transformers, Star Wars, Go Bots, Lego's, and the list went on, and on. I liked playing with all of them, and it was'nt long before my child like sense of pragmatism forced me into the realm of crossover universes. Because lets face it when your 9 there's nothing silly about an X wing fighter doing an airstrike on the TerrorDrome. Many days spent hovering over the desolate, corpse strewn battlefield of my sand box, officiating miniature combat scenario's, led to several undeniable truths. For instance, there is no contest Snake Eye's would kick the Sh@t out of Luke Skywalker force ,or not. Why? Isnt it obvious... the Kung Fu grip. That and he also bends at the knees, elbows, and waist.
I started musing over those recollections, and then it hit me, I still do it. Not play with toys ( the wife, and I have twin baby girls, and I still dont like dolls), but dream up crossovers, only now I do it with fantasy fiction characters.
I'll give you 5 battle scenario's, you give me the victor's and why.

1. Thomas Covenant ( Chronicle's of..) vs. Icarium Lifestealer ( Malazan Book of the Fallen)

2. Mr. Spock (Star Trek) vs. Thufir Hawat ( Dune)

3. Gandalf the Grey ( Lord of the Rings) vs. Allanon ( Shannara)

4. Karsa Orlong (Malazan Book of the Fallen) vs. Nom the Sand Gorgon ( Chronicles of Thomas Covenant)

5. Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter) vs. Elric of Melnibone (Elric)

Mr. Broken wrote:1. Thomas Covenant ( Chronicle's of..) vs. Icarium Lifestealer ( Malazan Book of the Fallen)

Wild magic beats anything.

Mr. Broken wrote:2. Mr. Spock (Star Trek) vs. Thufir Hawat ( Dune)

Batman takes them both out.

Mr. Broken wrote:3. Gandalf the Grey ( Lord of the Rings) vs. Allanon ( Shannara)

Good question. Gandalf usually just gives advice, while Allanon takes on some nasty creatures. But Gandalf did beat a Balrog, which is tougher than anything Allanon fought. I'll go with Gandalf.

Mr. Broken wrote:4. Karsa Orlong (Malazan Book of the Fallen) vs. Nom the Sand Gorgon ( Chronicles of Thomas Covenant)

That would be an awesome fight!!! I suppose if I had to pick, my money would be on Karsa.

Mr. Broken wrote:5. Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter) vs. Elric of Melnibone (Elric)

I don't know either well enough pick.

The mention of Allanon and Gandalf in the same sentence causes faint waves of nausea to wash over me - but here goes.
Round one - Alannon seems to be the light weight in this contest but puts up a pretty decent performence. Not bad for a book conceding 4 ounces to it's rival.

Round 2 - What's this. Shannara is coming back with a second, and now a third volume - it's anybodys fight. But Gandalf kills the Balrog and uses some pretty long words and literary devices that have clearly got Allanon confused.

Round 3 - Allanons only response to Gandalfs dainty use of words and literary plaudits is to keep churning out volume after repetative volume. He's literally pulping Gangalf to the canvas. Pretty it ain't, but effective - yes. The sales figures look good and the low brow audience the books pander to are clearly loving it.

Roung 4 - Gandalf has fallen well behind. His long words and 'Oxbridge' background are no mach for Shanarra's cartoon like bookcovers and mass audience appeal. No dobt about it - with Brooks you get what it says on the tin.

Round 5 - But what's this. Referee Peter Jackson steps into the ring, hoists Gandalf back to his feet and starts swinging, manakin like at Allanon. Oh come on - this just isn't fair. Use of CGI and Vigo (huge penis) Moerntson should surely be dissalowed in this fight but no! no! The judges are allowing it and McKell..er..Gandalf wins by a Big Screen knock out as Allanon is dragged from the ring and thrown unceremoniously onto the shelves of a charity shop near you.

peter wrote:Round 3 - Allanons only response to Gandalfs dainty use of words and literary plaudits is to keep churning out volume after repetative volume. He's literally pulping Gandalf to the canvas.

Fist and Faith wrote:

Mr. Broken wrote:1. Thomas Covenant ( Chronicle's of..) vs. Icarium Lifestealer ( Malazan Book of the Fallen)

Wild magic beats anything.

Maybe so, but if it's not enough wild magic to take Icarium out, or if TC needs a trigger or decides to be a whiny leper, he and half the Land are doomed

Mr. Broken wrote:4. Karsa Orlong (Malazan Book of the Fallen) vs. Nom the Sand Gorgon ( Chronicles of Thomas Covenant)

That would be an awesome fight!!! I suppose if I had to pick, my money would be on Karsa.

Agreed, it'd be a very interesting fight. Sure, a sandgorgan seems to only be weak to wild magic and geas magic, but Karsa is, essentially, Beowulf on cocaine.

Mr. Broken wrote:So it occurred to me that when I was a young lad I liked to play with toys. Action figures, and their accessories to be specific. This was followed by the realization that I was not very exclusive about the type, or brand, or backstory of any of them. I had G.I. Joe's, Transformers, Star Wars, Go Bots, Lego's, and the list went on, and on. I liked playing with all of them, and it was'nt long before my child like sense of pragmatism (?!?!?) forced me into the realm of crossover universes.

NIIIIICE! Haha!

Linna Heartlistener wrote:

Mr. Broken wrote:So it occurred to me that when I was a young lad I liked to play with toys. Action figures, and their accessories to be specific. This was followed by the realization that I was not very exclusive about the type, or brand, or backstory of any of them. I had G.I. Joe's, Transformers, Star Wars, Go Bots, Lego's, and the list went on, and on. I liked playing with all of them, and it was'nt long before my child like sense of pragmatism (?!?!?) forced me into the realm of crossover universes.

NIIIIICE! Haha!

Could someone give this brilliant thread a new lease on life by moving it to Mallory's?

(I pm'd Mr. Broken awhile back, saying this might do better as a Mallory's game, and he said he'd wanted it moved.)

Edit: Thanks, Murrin!

People visit Mallory's?

Murrin wrote:People visit Mallory's?

not people, per se

Ananda wrote:

Murrin wrote:People visit Mallory's?

not people, per se

Ananda wrote:

Murrin wrote:People visit Mallory's?

not people, per se

Just us bots!

i am the doom bot