Kevin's Watch

[This thread is non-canonical, but we just wanted to see what would happen when Led called Kali "pooty" to her face. Hilarity ensues.]


As they appear in the warm southern lands, Led puts Vynarkus' former belongings back on the ground. He picks up the cloak and turns to Kalindriel. "Pooty, were you interested in this?"
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Geek the pooty, first.

"Never call me that again." (Suggestion, DC 20 Will)

14 on caster check to beat SR 13.

Seven rolled me a 14. I needed a 15. I did not save against the Suggestion. Even though I'm holding in my hands a cloak that grants +1 will save, which is enough to save me, I failed.]

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry. When you said not to call you bait, that's what that was. It's short for ОТДЫХ И КОРМЛЕНИЕ ЛОШАДЕЙ В ПУТИ, in Frost Giant."

"Did you hear that, Little 'Trina? Kalindriel is not to be called ПУТИ, ever."
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Geek the pooty, first.

Led Pighp wrote:
"Did you hear that, Little 'Trina? Kalindriel is not to be called ПУТИ, ever.

What's a ПУТИ?

"'ОТДЫХ И КОРМЛЕНИЕ ЛОШАДЕЙ В ПУТИ'* is Frost Giant for 'Someone who tricks the prey into coming out of safety and acting stupid, by getting it mad.' More or less. It's not the same thing as 'bait'.

"And Kalindriel says she's not bait, but she's not a ПУТИ, either." Led turns back to Kalindriel. "Then what are you?"

* Pronounced: oat-dükh ee korm-lee-yen-ee-yeh low-shud-yeh-yuh v pooty
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Geek the pooty, first.

"So bait is poopy? Alot of what you said sounded alot like poop..."

"Poopy? Oh, you mean ОТДЫХ И. It's not dooky, it just sounds like that. Frost giants talk funny. But Kalindriel isn't pooty, poopy, or dooky. Or bait. I don't know what she is, but she's none of that."
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Geek the pooty, first.

"What do I look like?"

[So many wrong answers to this... "My ass..." or "Food..." come to mind first.]

"You look like a fungus elf wearing the skin of a blue dragon. Which, in the context of there being an enraged mother blue dragon leading an army of scorpion men to find her child's killer... would otherwise bring to mind that word I'm not going to call you."

"And you have to admit, it does seem to be spot on."
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Geek the pooty, first.

"I have to admit nothing. If she doesn't know I'm there, if she cannot see me through the shadows, she cannot rage against me."

"Bait would be a giant cat straddled by a rider who work together to chop her scorpion men up."

"And if she cannot rage against you, she'll stay in the back, sending her scorpion men out hunting for her child's killer. She'll be thinking, then. One might even say scheming."

"So, I just assume that when the thousand year old crafty evil beasty takes the time to scheme... it's worse for us than if she's too angry to realize we're planning a trap."

"But you're willing to risk that, because you feel disrespected by the word 'bait'? So, maybe that outfit is just SOOOOO pretty, you had to have it no matter the risks. But what good is an outfit that pretty if you're always hiding in the shadows and nobody can see it?"

[Where's the fighting? We spawned a whole other thread just for the fake-fight. Don't get all talky on me now.]
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Geek the pooty, first.

"I'm fine with that. It may be worse for you, but decidedly less so for me."

[You were the one who wanted physical violence. Kali fights with words.]

[Blah. We could have done all of this fully IC, then. Boring.]
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Geek the pooty, first.

[You couldn't take me, anyways. You're all meow and no scratch.]

[Isn't that what we were in this thread to discover?]
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Geek the pooty, first.

[So far, you are proving me correct.]

*grabs popcorn* Literal Cat fight! Whee! *passes popcorn to Siggy.*

[I'm the cat. She's a bitch. So I was trying to keep it a "reasonable" flow, with some kind of reason for fighting. But okay.]

"Then I'll take your pretty pretty outfit, and use it as bait myself. You're useless. All you do is talk."

Led has maneuvered to within 120' of Kali during his banter, and then he charges her, seeking to just bowl her over, not damage the fabric.

• 113hp MAX
  Overrun

[This would be funnier if Kali had Vyn's cloak, instead of Led. "Ole!"]

87 Max HP
AC 36
Immune to Critical Hits

Initiative: 6 (1 + 5 dex)

- Attack of Opportunity for Overrun: +28 (13 + 15 to-hit)
- Choose to avoid Overrun.

We can do a more normal combat flow since it's the two of us. I'm pretty much guessing I lost init by rolling a 1. Is overrun all Led is/can do this round? I'll post my actions once I know the results.

[Yes, overrun is all he can do this round. Even though this is non-canonical, I couldn't bring myself to just straight-up attack without trying to be "nice".]

• 113hp MAX
  Initiative: 26 (19 + 5 dex + 2 scout) [e.g. - greater than 1]
  Dodge vs. nobody (I forgot to declare)
  AC vs. AoO: 41
  Run past Kalindriel (missed the overrun)
  Stop 20' past her.

[I guess we don't need a map. Only the distance between us matters unless we start trying to get up onto environmental objects.]