Kevin's Watch

Here are the rules:
1. write an absurd statement in English.
2. use google translate to translate this into a language that is likely to mistranslate.
3. Copy the translation, open this language and paste it there, then translate to a random language.
4. repeat step 3, this time translating back into English.
5. post the original statement and the final English statement generated as a. and b.
6. next person repeats this process using your "b." statement as "a."

Me first:
a. My flatulent, freakish, mad cousin grasped his beaker of fuming chemicals and flattered himself by enthroning his angelic odors in mid level emasculation.
b. My swelling, cousin, crazy lunatic took his steaming cup of chemical odors and flattered by his enthronement angelic Mid-Level emasculation.

optional: if you have google voice, use someone else's phone to call your number and post as "c" the results of how google voice transcribed your voice. Next person than has the option of starting with your "b" or "c" statement!

b. My swelling, cousin, crazy Crazy, chemical odors, and the enthronement of his steaming cup of Angelica flattered by the middle-class gelding.

(via Azerbaijani, if you're wondering.)

b. My cousin, crazy crazy chemical odor, and Angelica's rising middle class of the coronation geldingui face swelling glory.

b. Via German and Italian:

My swelling, crazy crazy cousin took his steaming cup of smells, and flattered by his enthronement castration Engel medium level.

Via Dutch:

My swelling, Crazy Crazy cousin took his steaming cup of odors, and flattered by his enthronement castration Angel average.

via Swahili and Chinese:

My lungs took a crazy crazy cousin steaming cup of ingredients, and praised his enthronement average castration angel

My lungs took a fun crazy cousin steaming cups of ingredients, and praised his average in the enthronement castration angel

Filipino. Funny how just going straight one to the other returns so many sentence order swaps.

[wouldn't this be a little more fun if we used easy-to-recognize phrases, like quotes, aphorisms, etc.?]

DukkhaWaynhim wrote:[wouldn't this be a little more fun if we used easy-to-recognize phrases, like quotes, aphorisms, etc.?]

Heh...good idea, I thought...but:

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" through Urdu and and Albanian:

"Bird in hand worth two in the bush"


"A stitch in time saves nine" through Japanese and Haitian Creole slightly better:

"Stitch the time saved nine."

SOOOO...I went with this SRD quote:

a personal effluvium of cerise and incarnadine and carbuncle, ecru and ivory, turquise and viridian and azure, blue as deep as velvet, yellows ranging from the fulvous and the sulphuric to the palest gold.

through icelandic and vietnamese:

Personal effluvium of cerise and flesh color and Uncle carb, ecru and ivory turquise and Viridian, and blue, deep green and velvety, yellow-colored from sulfuric acid and yellow.

I think the problem is it just doesn't even try to translate certain words.

Using idioms and uncommon synonyms works best. When someone else replied to this on another site, he gave me a link to a fun thing called "bad translator."
fun, but it inserted itself into my browser and now all translating programs run my translations ten times!

from my own writings...

A synthetic ode to infinity; set in sharp angles and obtuse curves. Pagan by design, religious by accident. Squat, ugly buildings built in clusters. Now comes the popular bluff; kneeling facedown on the grassy knoll. Prostrate before the captured moment. An icy morning, snow covered streets. Puzzled policemen marking a tally board. Counting down the days until Christmas. Anesthesiologists and pathologists in a middle class suburban subdivision; living in harmony and tranquility. Euphoria codes buried in binary half-steps. Rogue chemists hoping to unlock Pandora’s hope chest. Vocoders are handed out in darkened alleyways. (The first are always free.) Atomic batteries sit in forgotten storage facilities. Forensic artists working on a grand stage. Spotlight, center stage, first reading. Coma patients are brought along slowly; most never becoming fully aware. Twilight seeking sundowners chasing after dopamine rays.

english-basque-finnish-english

Synthetic Ode Infinity, obtuse and acute angles of the arches. Design by the Arabs, the religious scene. Squat, ugly buildings built in clusters. Grassy Knoll down, but now comes the popular bluff. Kumar methods prior to the moment. Like ice cream in the morning, snow covered streets. Police surprised by calling the Tally table. Counting down the days until Christmas. Anesthesiologists and pathologists Subdivision suburban middle class, living in peace and tranquility. Binary half-buried in the euphoria stage. Rogue pharmacies Pandora is expected to open the chest. Vocoders are divided into darkened alleys. (Always goes first.) Atomic batteries sit in storage facilities forgotten. Grand Court stage of the work of artists. Spotlight, the center, the first reading. Coma patients are brought about slowly, most will never become fully conscious. Twilight for the Sundowners, after radiation and dopamine.

english-vietnamese-haitian creole-english

Synthetic OD Infinity, obtuse and acute angles in the arch. Powered by Arabs, the religious scene. Cuts well, ugly buildings built in clusters. Grassy Knoll down, now comes the pencil bluff popular. Kumar Prior methods while. Like ice cream in the morning, the snow covered streets of the law. Police surprised by calling the County table. Counting Down the days until Christmas. Anèstezist and anatomopatoloji Subdivision Suburban middle class, who live in peace and tranquility. Binary half-buried in the euphoria stage. Rogue pharmacies open Pandora hope chest. Vocoders are divided into the dark corridor. (Always go first.) Atomic forgotten batteries sit in storage facilities. Grand Court steps in the work of artists. Spotlight, center, reading first. Slowly coma patients were brought on, most are not fully aware too. Twilight for the Sundowners, and after the radiation and dopamine.

a singular vulture,rack it up, lock it down, using vinegar to kill weekending
vampires. pat them down, wave your wand run the scan to a mob, a murder
day-for-day stamp or stop, stomp or slam. his shoes or boots kept for keeping, use all your minutes, now swallow the evidence the witless will grand stand on shallow ground, kiddie pools death of deception and the perception focuses, as it all runs down-hill.

english to french - to irish - to english again.

on Vulture them, build it green, using vinegar to kill the weekend
vampires. caress them down, stick to running the scan a crowd, killing one
everyday stamp or stop, stomp or slam. shoes or boots to keep the preserve, a use for every minute, now swallow the evidence of the Seas Grand Witless will focus on the death of a shallow kiddie land during deception and perception, as it works all the low-Hill.

From Lord Zombiac:
a. My flatulent, freakish, mad cousin grasped his beaker of fuming chemicals and flattered himself by enthroning his angelic odors in mid level emasculation.

Going from English to Nepali to Finnish to English:

\My flattened, quirky, crazy cousin grabbed the beaker of his fuming chemicals and flattered himself by anthroning his angelic scent in mid-level esculation.

zealously you work against the
clock to put as many posts in
before the Kevin's Watch
chronometer (on New Zealand time,
naturally) resets to the next month.