Kevin's Watch

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Taxi:
Elaine is trying to pool money to buy a painting at auction, of a dying artist whose works are sure to skyrocket in value.
They have about $2k, everyone at the auction is looking their best; especially Jim - decked out in a tie to go with his denim jacket.
A painting is unveiled; a cubist era. The subject has both eyes out of place,everything askew, looking like a Picasso. Colors everywhere. Jim stands up, decades of psychedelics frothing to the surface yet again and cries -
" I know her!!"
I still crack up - one of my favorites.

George and Jerry(Seinfeld)
So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'"
"No no no no no. It was not trash."
"Was it in the trash?"
"Yes."
"Then it was trash."
"It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top."
"But it was in the cylinder."
"Above the rim."
"Adjacent to refuse is... refuse."
"It was on a magazine. And it still had the doily on."
"Was it eaten?"
"One little bite."
"Well, that's garbage."
"But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt."
"Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum."
George and Jerry

Being that I watched Married With Children from the first episode I became quite familiar with the nature of each character. I have never laughed so hard as when Al was playing a board game with the neighbors (Marcie in particular) and picked a card that instructed him to kiss her. Then next scene is Al aboard an sky diving plane dressed in his regular clothes. He marches up to the door with a parachute in his hands. The instructor asks him if he needs any last minute instruction and Al boldly laughs in his face and jumps out of the door.

You'd really have to know Al and his feelings about Marcie to enjoy that. I'm still laughing five years later.

Never saw that episode but I laughed reading your post, CT, knowing the characters well.

Since Taxi was brought up...
Jim taking the exam to be a cabi. First, he had to fill out the form. Name, address, etc. The others were reading him the questions out loud, and writing down his responses for him. There were also questions like, "Has your driver's license ever been revoked?" One question:

Bobby: "Drug addiction or mental illness?"
Jim: "Uhhhhhhh... That's a tough choice."


Since Seinfeld was brought up...
When Jerry's gf walked in on George changing his pants after having been swimming. He was upset that she might not know about "shrinkage," and be very unimpressed with his endowment. The two asked Elaine if women knew about shrinkage. And it went something like this.
"You mean laundry?"
"No! When men are in the water. There's shrinkage."
She looks confused for a few seconds, then suddenly realizes what they're talking about. "OOOHHH! It shrinks??" Shakes her head. "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."


And, though I don't like Cheers as much as it seems we all should, one of the funniest moments in tv history is the very last episode. Norm is leaving the bar for the night. As he's walking out, he's telling Sam that you only really need one thing in life that you really love, and you'll be fine.
"And do you know what my one great love is, Sammy?"
"Beer, Norm?"
Norm glances at his watch. "Yeah, I got time for a quick one, Sammy."

I had forgotten something that was mind blowing and hilarious. Bob Newhart on Newhart waking up in the bedroom of The Bob Newhart show as if the entire second show was just a dream. I actually missed the final episode and was told about it the next day. I've seen it for myself a few time since.

NORM!

"Women. Can't live with 'em . . . Pass the beer nuts."

I love the antics of Homer J. Simpson. On one episode he and Lenny from the nuclear power plant bought a 25-foot sub. There were some funny moments with it. I'm recounting from memory, but here it goes:

Homer is lying in bed, and he's had that sub with him for so long that it's turned rotten and has blackened.
"Marge, the sandwich and me need to be alone."
"Are you going to eat it?"
At this point he shifts his eye on the sandwich for one second and then looks straight ahead. "Yes."

And when Homer's at court:

"Mr. Simpson, we have no choice but to garnish your wages!"
"Mmm . . . garnish . . ."

Ah, the Newhart moment!! I've never seen it, but I laugh hysterically thinking about it!! What an extraordinarily brilliant moment!! That's gotta be the #1 Funniest TV Moment.

The Simpson's episode where Troy McClure starres in the broadway musical "Planet of the Apes", and he sung "Apes; I hate them all from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

the Simpsons are a goldmine for choice moments.
Homer is in the hospital. He tries to distract his doctor so he can run away by saying "Hey look. A bear!" Homer gets up from a wheel chair takes one step and breaks his leg. A moment later a bear walks over from off camera and looks down at Homer with a look of concern.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've only seen several episodes of the Simpsons, but my favorite moment was when the "Rhythm & Blues sensation" sang the national anthem at the ballgame in the episode when Homer became the mascot. It took something like 20 minutes?

any episode of the Office

thread necromancy thy perfidy?