Kevin's Watch

Q: Dear Name Lady,
My husband and I are expecting our first child. My husband especially likes girl names that start with "V", but our last name starts with "D", which instantly makes me think of the common abbreviation for "venereal disease"! I just can't give my child the first and last name initials of "V.D.", but would it be acceptable to still use a "V" name for the middle name, or would that still bring up the "V.D." connotation? We're also considering a first name starting with "E", but will "E.D." make people think of "erectile dysfunction"? I'm probably over thinking this but I know children with the initials "B.S." and "B.M." and couldn't help but think that their parents should have thought about the initials a little more.

- Initially Challenged


A: These are challenging times indeed for the initial-sensitive. Between text-speak, marketing speak and good old-fashioned slang, these days there's an acronym or abbreviation for just about everything. Pity the poor parent who sees the worst possible meaning in every set of initials. If you look hard enough and are good enough at wordplay, you'll find unsavory associations in countless pairs of letters, not to mention name anagrams and spoonerisms.

With the last initial D you're in particularly hairy territory. Even if you choose a "clean" initial pair today, there is no guarantee that tomorrow the medical community -- and its pharmaceutical marketers -- won't discover some new "Disorder," "Disease" or "Dysfunction" that KOs your perfect initials.

Because two-letter pairings are so limited and can carry so many different meanings (does BS mean spewing nonsense, or a bachelor of science degree?), I tend not to worry too much about first-last initial pairs. The initials B.O. didn't stop Barack Obama from becoming President of the United States, after all. Look around and you'll find plenty of successful people past and present who have borne your feared V.D. and E.D. initials without you even noticing. Try V.D. movie stars Vin Diesel and Viola Davis, or E.D. poet Emily Dickinson and tv host Ellen DeGeneres.

So instead of focusing on pairs of letters, look closer at trios. You can get away with almost any pair better than a three-letter initial set of, say, Philip Ignatius Gordon or Amanda Sophronia Simms. In your case, look at the middle name as an opportunity to soften your problematic pair to a lovely monogram like V.J.D. or E.F.D.

P.S. -- that "common" abbreviation V.D. isn't so common any more. For your child's generation, the initials to watch out for are S.T.D.

When I was younger, I had my heart set on marrying someone whose last name began with 'S.' Then, my initials would be 'A.S.S.'

In high school, we had to have our initials on our P.E. uniforms. One kid in my class initial's were B.R.A. Years later, we still call him Bra. So I would say that initials are important. LOL

My mom's maiden name initials: B.J.
My Mom's married name initials: B.O.

One heck of a step up.

aliantha wrote:My maiden-name initials are LAC -- and I went back to them after the divorce!

Batty observed the other day that if she changed her last name to mine, and changed her middle name to something starting with F, her initials would be KFC. But she would be doing it to herself, so I guess it would be okay...

sindatur wrote:

aliantha wrote:My maiden-name initials are LAC -- and I went back to them after the divorce!

Batty observed the other day that if she changed her last name to mine, and changed her middle name to something starting with F, her initials would be KFC. But she would be doing it to herself, so I guess it would be okay...

That's me, KFC

aliantha wrote:

sindatur wrote:

aliantha wrote:My maiden-name initials are LAC -- and I went back to them after the divorce!

Batty observed the other day that if she changed her last name to mine, and changed her middle name to something starting with F, her initials would be KFC. But she would be doing it to herself, so I guess it would be okay...

That's me, KFC

But was the restaurant still named Kentucky Fried Chicken when you were born? I mean, parents can't anticipate everything...

sindatur wrote:

aliantha wrote:

sindatur wrote: That's me, KFC

But was the restaurant still named Kentucky Fried Chicken when you were born? I mean, parents can't anticipate everything...

Originally founded in 1930, Founded as a Franchise Kentucky Fried Chicken in 1952, I wasn't born until 1964. I've never minded it actually, not like I got stuck with something like poor Harbinger.

Though it is kind of ironic/twisted for Sindatur the Grey Owl Wizard

aliantha wrote:

sindatur wrote:

aliantha wrote: But was the restaurant still named Kentucky Fried Chicken when you were born? I mean, parents can't anticipate everything...

Originally founded in 1930, Founded as a Franchise Kentucky Fried Chicken in 1952, I wasn't born until 1964. I've never minded it actually, not like I got stuck with something like poor Harbinger.

Though it is kind of ironic/twisted for Sindatur the Grey Owl Wizard

They didn't change their corporate name to KFC (just the letters, not spelled out) 'til sometime in the '70s or '80s, tho. That's what I meant. But I guess people were shortening it to KFC in everyday talk long before that.