Kevin's Watch

Stave fine champion,
look and see
look into the ocean,
pull out your nets
pull back some kind of weird demented creature.

Who has wisdom or foresight?
Is it me?
It ain't you,
certainly not you,
not in the state you now exist?

I am some type of weird demented creature you pull in
Pull me in and keep me or throw me back,
Don't, don't be scared of me though
I do bite, I do take care to snap,
I am a weird demented creature

Stave off hunger with a piece of my flesh
Drag out a phonographic analogue to your contemporary listening
Put down the grooves and let the scratchy needle spin
God understands the logic of a good artistic debate
Weird or not, He can see the merit in works of man.

My mottled flesh sustains your pancreatic cysts,
fills your trounced and bored flames with a fire of anger.
Is anger not the bedfellow of diversion?
Is it not like any good falcon to feed on a gross fish from time to time?
A dragon doesn't even have to fight a champion this hard!

Fuck You

bbf

babybottomfeeder wrote:...
A dragon doesn't even have to fight a champion this hard!

Fuck You

bbf

Curious, the distances are equal, are the words in the middle still a part of the poem, or already a part of the signature, or was it supposed to ambiguous?)

And if you're accepting advice, I'd like to say you'd better add poems like this one to one of your already created threads here - it was suggested several times already and getting on the nerves of the mods, unless that's the intent, may lead to results of the seriously undesired kind.

It may go like: do what is not allowed, get warned, stop doing that thing you weren't allowed, do another thing that is not allowed, return to p1 when thoroughly forgotten

I think the whole thing was the writing, Effy. The 'fuck you' bit was a nice punch at the end to pull us out of the poetic into starkness.

babybottomfeeder wrote:
I am a weird demented creature

Fuck You

bbf

I've made some edits to your poem I think you'll like. That last line is the clincher for me. It speaks volumes, and really leaves the audience wondering just who you're directing this at. I bolded it so the audience wouldn't miss the single most important line in this poem. Your best by far. I can really see you improving with each poem.

Those are good edits, Jazy.

See, Beebs, you are popular. All the women come here to flirt with you. You are like mad, bad and dangerous to know or something.

Ananda wrote:Those are good edits, Jazy.

See, Beebs, you are popular. All the women come here to flirt with you. You are like mad, bad and dangerous to know or something.

I ain't mad nor bad nor dangerous. I speak and spell my mind and try and be kind. If I were a rich man, I would tell you to pick out all the good things and share them with your family. If I were a poor man, I would light your (friends) way to tall futures with motivational words.

I am neither poor nor rich. I was not born or created.

Are you the thunder perfect mind?