Kevin's Watch

From the ether beyond Kevin's Watch, Cail wrote:Firstly I'd like to thank Don for offering to post this. It should come as no surprise to anyone who's read this thread that Rush was a tremendously important force in my early life. In addition, my rediscovery of the band, both from Zarathustra's posts and from the work I put into this thread really knocked me over as well.

Also, of all the things I wrote here, what's in this thread is what I'm proudest of. It's not the wittiest, most creative, most controversial, or most thoughtful thing(s) I've written, but it was a project. It was actually being like a working writer, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Anyway.....

I got a text from a friend yesterday afternoon that said, "Peart's dead?"

I frantically started Googling and heard myself saying, "nononononononononononononono". I found the Rolling Stone article and the wind went out of me. I dropped my glasses, put my head in my hands, and sobbed.

A man I never met had that much impact on my life, and had been such a huge part of my teens and 20s, so much so that it's not hyperbole to say that I wouldn't have made it through those years without Rush. Whether it was Spirit of Radio, Subdivisions, Analog Kid, or Tom Sawyer, Neil's lyrics spoke directly to me at a time that I desperately needed them.

Going back through this thread, a couple of things stand out. Holy crap, I started this 7-1/2 years ago. Now as then, I find it interesting how my perspective(s) on the music and the band have changed. Even when Rush was in the wilderness for me, I still loved and appreciated that they still existed. But, as time does, I find that my perspective on the music and lyrics has shifted yet again, and 51-year-old me takes different things from Rush than 44-year-old me did at the outset. And, as documented, that take was dramatically different than mid-20s or mid-teens me.

It's a testament though to the magic of Rush. I've grown out of so much music that was once vital to me. Rush, though it may be different songs and/or albums, has remained as one of - if not the most - relevant bands to me throughout my life.

I still love me some Test for Echo. Grace Under Pressure and Counterparts are still fresh, wonderful albums to explore. Clockwork Angels doesn't get as much play as it did when it was new, but I stand by most of what I wrote about it, particularly The Garden. It's the perfect "Final Rush Song". They went out on top, and that pleases me.

I cringe a bit at my characterization of Neil toward the end of the thread, but I don't think I'm wrong. The fact that he may have been already suffering from symptoms of Glioblastoma tempers things a bit. For those who aren't aware, it's a pretty lousy way to go, and his last months couldn't have been pleasant.

At any rate, this is the end. Ged and Alex may make more music together, and I hope they do. They may even tour with a different drummer, and I hope they do that too. I'd hope that they mine their extensive catalog and roast some old Rush chestnuts. But it won't be Rush, and it won't have Neil's signature writing or drumming.

And to me, that's a tremendous loss that I'll be processing for quite some time.