Kevin's Watch

The music www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkfkJCyqCBc

“my foeman stands before me
...
deeming in his cowardice that here the burden of havoc and ruin will pass from him.” Soft laughter made the rocklight throb

He can kill with a smile
He can wound with his eyes
He can ruin your faith with his casual lies
And he only reveals what he wants you to see
He hides like a child,
But he's always Lord Foul to me

Acute with blandishments and spells,
Spoke a-Jeroth of the Seven Hells.

He can lead you to love
He can take you or leave you
He can ask for the truth
But he'll never believe you
And he'll take what you give him, as long as it's free
Yeah, he steals like a thief
But he's always Lord Foul to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He's ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

And I am not powerless to reward you. If you wish to share my rule over the Land, I will permit you. You will find I am not an uncongenial master

And he'll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then he'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But he'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause he's always Lord Foul to me
--Mhmm--

Oh, he takes care of himself
He can wait if he wants
He's ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out
And he never gives in
He just changes his mind

I am interested - I am forbearant. I will allow you time to think better of your madness

He is frequently kind
And he's suddenly cruel
He can do as he pleases
He's nobody's fool
And he can't be convicted
He's earned his degree
And the most he will do
Is throw shadows at you
But he's always Lord Foul to me
--Mhmm--

excellent work...

Ah, pleased to see my work appreciated, it happens far not as often as it should. Not like it's exactly mine, but I'll take the praise anyway.

How about this one? Actually, I have been sitting on it for a while now, this seems like a good excuse to post it.

Just Wait. Music and lyrics by John Popper of Blues Traveler. I recommend listening while reading.

• So he lay in his hammock like a sacrifice, with the stone
  vessel spread out unreadably around him. Fettered by the iron
  of his failures, he did not move or try to move.

If ever you are feeling like you're tired
And all your uphill struggles leave you headed downhill
If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you
And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill

• "Yes, Giantfriend." The epithet held a tinge of sarcasm.
  "I am gone from my mind. You are the ring-wielder, as the
  Elohim have said. Your power threatens the Earth. What
  import has the anguish of one or two Giants in such a plight?
  Forgive me."

I ask of you a very simple question
Did you think for one minute that you were alone?
And is your suffering a privilege you share only?
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home?

• "Ah, Giantfriend," Pitchwife breathed at last. "You also
  are grieved beyond bearing. I know not how to solace you."

Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
It will come

• "Is that it?" she demanded. "You've decided to give up?"

If you think I've given up on you you're crazy
And if you think I don't love you, well then you're just wrong
In time you just might take to feeling better
Time is the beauty of the road being long

• "I don't know. But anything is better than this. Tell the First
  we'll give it a try."

I know that now you feel no consolation
But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud
I say this without fear of hesitation
I can honestly tell you that you make me proud

• "What about you?" he asked after her. "What're you going to do?"
  
  At the door, she looked back at him, and her eyes were
  openly full of tears, "I'm going to wait." Her voice sounded as
  forlorn as the cry of a kestrel — and as determined as an act
  of valor. "My turn's coming."

Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
It will come

Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come

Pause for Guitar Apotheosis ...

• He was there before her, clean in every limb and line,
  and strong with the same stubborn will and affirmation which
  had made him irrefusable to her from the beginning.

If anything I might have said now has helped you
If anything I might have just said helped you just carry on
Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle
And your appetite for pain may all but be gone

• "I want what you want. I want you to find something that
  gives you hope. I want you to come into your power. I want
  you to understand why you were chosen to be here."

I hope for you and cannot stop at hoping
Until that smile has once again returned to your face
There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying
Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace

• "I don't want hope. I don't want power. All I want is a living
  love. For as long as I can get it." Defying her weakness, she
  stood erect before him in the lamplight as if she were ablaze.
  "I want you."

Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come

Hashi Lebwohl wrote: All along Kevin's Watchtower
Bloodguard kept their view
While the New Lords came and went
And their Warmark, too
Outside in the distance
A wild kresh did growl
Two ur-viles were approaching
The wind began to howl

Bob Dylan - All Along The Watchtower - the song version Hashi Lebwohl himself suggested, the original one. There are also many, many other variants on YouTube - Hendrix, U2 and something like twenty others) What can I say - awesome song, awesome books, awesome parody Originally was in Hashi Lebwohl's signature and posted here kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=903007#903007

wayfriend, very well done - and really precise choice, fits to a T) May I ask you to bring your Spongebob song here as well, so that everything is gathered in one place?

And I think this thread needs to be renamed then - to make it clearer about the content. Not sure about the forum location though - looks fitting to a varying degree in different ones.

Renamed the thread to reflect its current content.

As for the forum - the Hall looks not like a place for parodies to me, though if there are other opinions, I won't mind it moved.

My gratitude to those who write them or inspire the writers with praise.

Edit: Renamed twice now - to include the Watch itself, so that it's clear it also includes rewrites like the ones Vraith posted. Well done, Vraith.

At Eff's request, though thread/topic they came from pertinent, not SRD BOOKs pertinent. With some context as set up:

PREBE to me:
You ARE the Sig-man!
ME:
Everyone sing along:

"Sig-man, Sig ma--AN! hah hah, charade you are
Ideal word wi-ield! hah hah, charade you are...
And when your mouse is on reply,
You're nearly a good laugh,
Almost a joker,
With your head down in the think tank,
Saying "Keep on parsing."
Sig stain on Orlion..

Ok, I'll stop now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matrixman said [my emphasis]:
So when Donaldson and Sweet are in the same room, do they glare at each other or what? Do lightning bolts scorch the air?
ME:
"And Lord Foul in the back, as a matter of fact
His eyes are yellow as pus...
And Linden in the corner, that everyone abhors
She thinks she's got pain and distrust...

Oooooh Yeaaaa
The ghosts are ecceeentric!
Andelain is so heeeectic!
The companions are leeeeaving!
Cuz the Worm started breeeathing!

Yea.....yea.....yea, yea yea!
The Master in the back thought "everyone attack"
And it turned into a Landsdrop blitz"

.......I think they'll put on a great show together...

Hey Tom, don't make it bad.
Take this story and make it better.
Remember to take the Land to your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey Tom, don't be afraid.
You were writ to go out and kick ass.
You're getting some hurtloam onto your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the time, hey Tom, calm down,
Don't carry the Arch upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's Lord Foul who plays it foul
By making the Land a big deal skrewed up.
Na na na na na na na na na na na

Hey Tom, don't let us down.
You have learned how, now go and kick ass.
Remember to take the Land to your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey Tom, begin,
You're hoping someone will take your burden.
But don't you know that it's still you, hey Tom, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your finger.
Na na na na na na na na na na na

Hey Tom, don't make it bad.
Take this story and make it better.
Remember the hurtloam onto your skin,
Then you'll begin to make it
Better better better better better better
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Hey Tom.

The original The Beatles - Hey Jude

Vraith, thank you) Can you tell which original songs they are related to, please - and maybe copy the one in the Tank thread here as well and any others if there are any? And look - the thread is now named better, to fit your lyrics)

Excellent, Effy. I didn't need to be told which song that was

I may have a go myself when I've finished checking this damned surname index!

BTW, I think the second one of Vraith's is Ballroom Blitz by Sweet.

Iolanthe wrote: BTW, I think the second one of Vraith's is Ballroom Blitz by Sweet.

It is...because the MM was talking about Darrel Sweet [who did some book art] and SRD being together at a Con [SRD apparently didn't like the art, and Darrel apparently doesn't like the books...or fantasy at all??]...but MM just said "Sweet," hence the result.
the other is Floyd---"Pigs [3 diff. ones]"

Here's the other, Eff, as ordered [and note Io, it fits perfectly IF you put it in the right place...the very beginning/intro before the song kicks in....Actually, I'm going to add a version of the dialogue that leads to it:
.[dedicated to Av for saying "Life Sarge, he got life."]
WOMAN: "What makes you so damns superior BBF?"
ORIGINAL LF: "And gives me such a headache?"

"He got Life, Seargant...
he got lau-a-aughs never...
he got free-e-ee-dumb blubber...
he got good lies ma'aammm.

he got crazy ways, daughter...
he done million dollar harm cousin...
he brought headaches-n-toothaches and bad times just too ruuuuuude..."

I had to go to google for Ballroom Blitz - didn't know who sang it, but the tune jangled in my head and I got to the end and there was the title.

I don't know the other two at all - Pink? Floyd were never my thing - although C (hubby) probably would have known. As for the last one you quoted, never heard of that one either, which is why I picked the Beatles one, which I did know.

Some reposts.

wayfriend, ina thread called Just what can Foul do?, wrote:You know, this whole topic puts me in mind of a song...

Who can make a Sunbane,
Sprinkle it with rue?
Cover it with Riders, and a Raver-bee or two.
Lord Foul man, Lord Foul man can,
Lord Foul man can cuz he's stuck in the Earth
and the Earth won't do.

Who can take a Rainbow,
Inflict it with a wound?
Put banes in the Earth and make the Land's Creator swoon.
The Despiser man, the Despiser man can,
The Despiser man can cuz he's got it in for Thomas
and the Arch of Time too.

The Grey Slayer makes
everything he hates
Despair-laiden or Corrupted.
He needs to be interrupted
before Mount Thunder has erupted!

Who can take your ex-wife,
Posess her with a dream,
Fill your heart with sorrow and collect your self-esteem.
Lord Foul man, Lord Foul man can,
Lord Foul man can cuz he's archetypal evil
and he smells bad, too.

wayfriend, on behalf of Cameraman Jenn, in the Fantasy Bedtime Hour thread, wrote:

bloodguard bob wrote:The music video turned out awsome too, but I wish I had straightened the pictures on my wall before they filmed in my apartment.

You know, as I go back over these old posts, I think in all the hooplah for the wrap party we did not

enough the awesomeness of Camera Jenn's magnificent lyrical composition [referring to a music video found in the final episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour, Episode 40, which is a parody of Time After Time by Cindy Lauper]:

• Hiding in my creche I hear
  the ur-viles spawn and think of you.
  Caught up in unbelief
  confusion is nothing new.
  
  Flash back ... Atrium ...
  Whom you've left behind.
  Dealing with a daughter
  Victim of -
  
  Sometimes I picture you
  You're walking through Andelain.
  I like to track you
  By sending you horrific pain!
  
  You scream "@#$% the pain away!"
  And fall behind.
  Your sanity unwinds.
  
  In the Land if you look then you will find me
  In the Arch of Time.
  When you fail I will kill you I will be waiting
  In the Arch of Time.
  
  After Foamfollower raves,
  And urviles have marched away,
  You're wandering through catacombs
  Wondering who'll win the day.
  
  Staff of Law, stolen,
  from deep inside.
  A drum beats out of time.
  
  In the Land if you look then you will find me
  In the Arch of Time.
  When you fail I will kill you I will be waiting
  In the Arch of Time.
  
  You have white gold,
  I rule your mind!
  The Arch of Time unwinds!
  
  In the Land if you look then you will find me
  In the Arch of Time.
  When you fail I will kill you I will be waiting
  In the Arch of Time.
  
  In the Arch of Time.
  
  In the Arch of Time.

Oh, and Nicholas wasn't half bad either! Lord Foul sitting on the sofa waxing melancholy ... he nailed it.

Thanks, Jenn. I loved it, truly. (It's my kind of humor, you see.)

Spoiler

Wayfriend, in The Mahdoubt thread, wrote:
There's only one way to capture the mystery of the Mahdoubt -- a song!

Here is my Mahdoubt song. (You all know Rod Stewart's Maggie May, right?) Enjoy.

Hey there Mahdoubt I really don’t know what to make of you.
The Haruchai shrug and say you’re just here to bring me food.
Your clothes are kind of a flub, and your arms are rather chub.
Oh Mahdoubt, are you from Lunch Lady Land?
I met you in Revelstone, you’re such a mysterious crone.
You’re quite a puzzle and that’s what really irks.

The Land’s health-sight when its on your face really shows you’re tweaked.
But that don’t worry me none - it’s Mahrtiir whose really freaked.
I laughed at your crows nest hair, and ate all your meager fair.
Oh, Mahdoubt, what is your numinousness for?
I was saved from the Illearth Stone, just to get stuck in Revelstone.
You boggle my mind, and that’s a tease I could do without.

All I needed was a maid to make the room I had.
But you warned me of love, and mother it’s my love I need so bad.
How’d you know my guy was here? Let’s face it, that’s a little queer.
Oh Mahdoubt, your eyes are more of an eye sore.
I wound up in Revelstone, cause Stave had to be a bone.
You mystify me, I couldn’t get you if I tried.

I suppose I could write you off as the cleaning crew.
Or imagine the Creator has some sort of plan for you.
Or maybe you’re an Elohim gal, in need of a mortal pal.
Oh Mahdoubt, explain what happened to your face!
You like to say “Assuredly”, and you know when I get thirsty.
You stole the show, but who are you anyway?

Io, thank you)

Vraith wrote:...
Floyd---"Pigs [3 diff. ones]"
...[/color]

Vraith wrote:...
Here's the other, Eff, as ordered
...[/color]

I didn't order, it's all on free will... more of these are welcome.



wayfriend, wonderful! How about the Spongebob one? In the Bad Illustrating. And, if I had to choose...

wayfriend wrote:...
Who can make a Sunbane,
Sprinkle it with rue?
Cover it with Riders, and a Raver-bee or two.
Lord Foul man, Lord Foul man can,
Lord Foul man can cuz he's stuck in the Earth
and the Earth won't do.
...

wayfriend wrote:...
and he smells bad, too.

Attar, that's attar. Well, some may not like it, a matter of taste...

Beginning to wonder if I should warn Major Isoor to avoid this thread, as well as the current game in WWM...

So, I see people lurk here... without admiring the works of those who applied thought and flexibility and inventiveness to magnificent stories and distant songs, weaving them together.

Did place a warning in the title.

Menolly wrote:Beginning to wonder if I should warn Major Isoor to avoid this thread...

Good point! I was careless. I have spoilerized my earlier post.

Sweet dreams are made of this,
Who am I to Unbelieve?
I traveled the Land and the Sunbirth Sea
Everybody's looking for something.

Some of them want to love you,
Some of them want to be loved by you,
Some of them want the white gold,
Some of them want me to be true

Hey..... Melenkurion!....

Sweet dreams are made of this,
Who am I to unbelieve?
I traveled the Land and the Sunbirth Sea
Everybody's looking for something.

Hold your head up, keep your head up (VSE!)
Hold your head up, keep your head up (VSE!)

Some of them want to find Home
Some of them want to be left alone
Some of them turn into stone
Some of them live at Ridjeck Thome

Hey..... Melenkurion!....

Sweet dreams are made of this,
Who am I to unbelieve?
I traveled the Land and the Sunbirth Sea
Everybody's looking for something.

(Hey, the original is pretty dang repetitive too...)

(To listen to the original: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zanZFMqG75o )

Music by Sir Aurthur Sullivan, with apologies to W. S. Gilbert (from Pirates of Penzance):

Now Covenant was very ill
Life to him was a bitter pill
Until a beggar took a fancy to his white gold ring
He was transported to the Land
Where health attacked both toe and hand
And lords and bloodguard treated him as though he was a King
A Parodox?
A Paradox.
A most ingenious paradox!
A man who thinks he's in a dream
Is answer to the Foe's great scheme.

Chorus
A paradox, a paradox,
A most ingenious paradox.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
This paradox.