Kevin's Watch

Summarise some of your favourite fantasy/sci fi series in two sentences. Can be tongue in cheek or serious as your mood befits. Mine are very tongue in cheek. Proposing alternate versions of series already posted is accetable and encouraged, since there are only so many series out there.

Mistborn: Metal eating ninja magicians. Also, chastity.

Malazan: Epic battles across mortal and divine realms. Also, mules.

Belgariad/Malloreon: The wizard is a drunken bum. Also, convoluted insults.

Chronicles of Thomas Covenant: Unlikely hero finds power within. Also, rape.

The Black Company: Bad guys fighting worse guys. Also, magical prank wars.

Bartimaeus: Slave demon gets stockholm syndrome. Also, footnotes.

The Dark Tower: Clint Eastwood fights zombies, vampires and wizards. Also, child soldiery.

His Dark Materials: Little girl finds nifty gadget, rides a polar bear, saves the universe. Her evil parents redeem themselves.

A Song of Ice And Fire: Treachery, killing, rape, whoring, incest, dragons, rape, crows, bastards, zombies, werewolves, and did I mention rape? Also, rape.

Wrinkle In Time (Series): Time-traveling family of nerds saves the universe again and again. Also, crazy old ladies.

Legend of the Seeker/Sword of Truth: Dominatrixes and wizards. Also, male rape.

Gojiro: Being the only member of your species is a bummer. Also, nuclear annihilation.

Dune: Sometimes your the Kwisatz Haderach and you don't know it. Also, big effing worms.

The Book of the New Sun: Life on Earth a million years for now is remarkably like the Middle Ages. Also, torture as a career.

Neverness: A pilot with father issues saves the planet. Also, skating.

Thank you, Cambo - this is fun!

Most any book in the Recluse Saga, by Modessitt:
Intelligent, gentle-hearted young man with a strong sense of justice is forced to learn how to use his magical abilities reallly, really fast in a really unfriendly world. As he is doing this, he is thrust into an arms race, and kills lots of people to save his life and those he loves.

Not bad for BotNS, Wayfriend. I'd go with:

A good read if you thought the movie Primer was too easy to piece together. And yes, he really is supposed to be a Christ figure.

The Warrior Prophet: Man, Kellhus is less ubermensch than uberdouche. Also, another Christ figure.

Reaper's Gale: Capitalism really sucks, though it helps to be crazy... or a god. And I'll take my Christ figure mentally handicapped, thanks.

The Pillars of Creation: Capitalism kicks ass! Jesus Christ, him too?

(the last might be a bit of a stretch. More like Job. Though if Goodkind doesn't think he's the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, it's only because Ayn Rand is cooler)

[Syl] wrote:Not bad for BotNS, Wayfriend. I'd go with:

A good read if you thought the movie Primer was too easy to piece together. And yes, he really is supposed to be a Christ figure.

I concede the point to you.

Some obscure ones:

The Annals of Klepsis: How the entire universe existed in the mind of Brannigan's ghost, until it didn't. Also, pirates!

The Fall of the First World: When good wants a knock-down drag-out with evil in your kingdon, it's not good to be king. Also, it's not good to be the immortal either.

Destination: Void: When four desperate scientists lost in space realize that their only hope of survival is to build the first true artifical intelligence, it just might be crazy enough to work. Also, tedious.

The Sundering: Dude ain't half bad. Shit, he's dead.