Kevin's Watch

In the UK we have a tv show called Room 101 where celebrities in a sort of comedic interview get to dump stuff they wish would dissapear from the world, completely for ever and without trace, into [guess where]....Room 101.

Well it sounds ok to me so here are a few things that I would happily see going Room 101ward.

1. Strimmers. Where I live from april to october you are never more than 2 minutes away from the next 'strimmering sesion' that someone is embarking on in their garden. It's not the activity I object to so much as the beastly whinning noise of the chord as it whizzes at 2/3 light speed until the moment that it has to cut something and then stops.

2. Gum. I mean chewing gum! WTF? Tell me what this crap is for? I scrape it off the shop floor, I pick it of from under the counter, it serves no purpose other than to exercise the muscles of the

Spoiler

slack jawed fools

that use it. Singapoor has the right idea - it's illegal. Here's an idea; build the cost of removing it from the pavements [currently borne by the tax payer] into the cost of the gum itself. At the cost of 40 cents a stick for removal from the pavement this would add a levy of about $4 to each pack sold. That would be about correct.

3. British Airways. [Need I say moore?]

4. People who whistle in the mornings. I mean - C'mon guys! Nobody has the right to be that happy untill after mid-day!

5. Hoodies. The moment a kid puts on a hoodie his neck automatically tilts down to an angle of 45 degrees and his gait becomes simian as he slouches down the road. The very act of donning one is two fingered salute to the society we live in and a declaration of intent to do no work and live on bennefits and spawn an army of kids you can't pay for, for the rest of your life. In fact I'd go further; no boy should be permitted to wear long trousers or go out without his shirt, tie and neatly groomed [and short] hair appropriately 'brylcreamed' into position untill he is 25 years old. At least.

6. In fact put all boys under 25 yo into Room 101 as a matter of principle

7. The 'kipper' tie and the 'mullet'. What were we thinking of .

8. Unsolicited sales calls. Seriously, I mean this one.

9. Facebook. And this one. One child bullied to death in the pursuit of this nonsence need to live every minute of your life in public is one too many.

10. Me. Well to bad - it's not happening! Like stepping on dog-shit before you get into your car I'm a fact of life [and once I'm gone there will be a million more behind me so there! ]

...I have a hoodie....

I gather that "strimmer" is UK for "weed whacker". I don't mind those so much as the gas-powered leaf blowers that sound like a freaking jet engine taking off.

I think it was Ben Franklin who suggested that all teenage boys be encased in a barrel until the age of 20 or so. At that time, he said, someone should open the bunghole and see how the lad turned out -- and if he wasn't civilized, the bunghole should be sealed for good.

I imagine even in a hoodie your absolute goodness and rectitude would shine through Ali .

While I'm here - thin toilet paper should definitely be placed indefinately in Room 101. [Need I elaborate.....]

Izal! We had it at home in the 50s and 60s. Awful stuff.



Can't think of many at the moment but I should certainly put in room 101 the people who sit in their cars in the queue outside my house when I have the windows open and blare out loud music, always with thumps every second. They should be reported for not having a performing licence!!

Also people who are glued to their mobile phones and not watching what their small children are doing - even in the bus station which is a very dangerous place in Lincoln.

'Izal' - Who invented that stuff! You have never known the meaning of pain untill you have ----- ---- ---- ---- ---- -----!

[And what was it medicated with - sand paper?]

I don't know, but I do remember that it was shiny on one side!!!

Correct Iolanthe; we won't go into detail but whoever thought *that* was a good idea........!