Kevin's Watch

Hahahaha .. and that's all part of the fun of it ..

Sorus! good to see you here - now start cranking out some more stories!! j/k!!

I want to build anticipation here...I am almost to the good part of my story

Oh! Its an epic adventure set over multiple 2 minutely episodes?

Please continue ..

*Reaches for program and popcorn and waits in anticipation*

Welll...truthfully I will probably stop my story here after a couple more passages. Trying to develop the story I want to develop over two minute stretches would be way too time consuming. Also way too long for the intent of this part of Kevins Watch.

Turam soon distanced Turo. However he heard strides approaching. He knew those strides. Damn Lilat. She was the best long distance runner, but he had hoped for better from himself in the 4,000. He willed every breath in him to churn his legs faster. He resisted every urge to look to his side. He was clearly focused on the last leg and he swore to himself that he would win. He had to. Ever since his father died he knew he had to show everyone. Damn thoughts drifting...focus.... He could sense Lilat was not catching up but still a close threat. Focus Turam he mumbled to himself....

About three minutes

samrw3 wrote:Welll...truthfully I will probably stop my story here after a couple more passages. Trying to develop the story I want to develop over two minute stretches would be way too time consuming. Also way too long for the intent of this part of Kevins Watch.

Have enjoyed it so far. If you need more time/space/random other dimensions, you could always make a dedicated thread for it.

samrw3 wrote:Sorus! good to see you here - now start cranking out some more stories!! j/k!!

I want to build anticipation here...I am almost to the good part of my story

I have a few ideas bouncing around in my head - as usual they probably won't quiet down until I let them out and it's not good if it gets too crowded in there anyway. I backed off for a while here because the main story I was working on was a little (more than a little) dark, and I managed to give someone nightmares before I really even got into the dark stuff.

ooooh Sorus that sounds intense.

Do share if you can .. I kinda like the short spurt thing thats going on here. Its not a wall of words to work through and with the exception possibly of your dark work .. its light and fluffy ..

Its been raining here all day so I cant wait to see what you guys got. I will have to head off soon .. got horses to feed, cattle to move. But will be exciting to see if this has moved in my time away.

The dark story is actually the one I was working on in the 5-to-15 minutes version of this thread. My main story on this thread (which I haven't added to in nearly a year, for shame) isn't nearly as gritty. Of course, that does depend somewhat on the direction I end up taking it.

Cool .. good to know .. will go check it out

Thanks Sorus and skyweir for your support. I haven't decided what to do with my story after I get through my next passage. All I know is I have to write down the next passage or else its going to drive me crazy - lol.

Sorus - will have to check out the 5 to 16 minute thread - sounds like interesting story you got brewing over there.

Well, I didn't really get much of it out here, but I like to think it has the potential to be an interesting story.

samrw3 wrote:All I know is I have to write down the next passage or else its going to drive me crazy - lol.

Oh, yeah. Totally understand that. Some years back I had an idea for a story that I didn't particularly want to write, but the idea distracted me until I was literally walking into walls. Once I had freed it onto paper, it left me alone. I don't even remember what it was about now, but at the time it was all I could think about.

Learned my lesson now. If an idea is still bouncing around after three days or so, I might as well just let it out.

Sorus wrote:

samrw3 wrote:All I know is I have to write down the next passage or else its going to drive me crazy - lol.

Oh, yeah. Totally understand that. Some years back I had an idea for a story that I didn't particularly want to write, but the idea distracted me until I was literally walking into walls. Once I had freed it onto paper, it left me alone. I don't even remember what it was about now, but at the time it was all I could think about.

Learned my lesson now. If an idea is still bouncing around after three days or so, I might as well just let it out.

I can understand that Sorus. It is actually kind of strange how certain things just have the desire to come out of us.

I read you work in the five to fifteen minute section. I really enjoyed it and hope you continue to do more. My advice is don't let peoples reactions daunt you. It is up to each individual how much to read and their reaction to what they have read. There is a lot of disturbing images in SRD's works for example but at least most of us in this board decided to read it and deal with it in our own ways. If you feel especially daunted that something might have a strong reaction you can always put a warning before your writing stating vivid or violence or etc ahead and let the reader decide if they want to risk it.

The following section - I am not even going to keep time... I know it will be longer than two minutes - I just don't know how I could even imagine to break it into a two minute section. So just fair warning.

Turam saw the finish within his reach. He could hear Lilat's steps not too far behind. He knew she could not catch him in enough time.

Turam pushed himself, he wanted to cross the finish in full stride. His breath was straining and his heart racing. He did not want to slow down. He wanted to show everyone. He was Roran's son. Proud to carry on his legacy.

Turam heard a loud thud not too far behind him. Turam wondered if Lilat fell. But he could not look - not with being so close.

Turam heard shouts and screaming. Turam wondered why, he was still a few stretches from winning. He masked all thoughts and noises and sprinted past the finish line.

Turam felt a breath of exhilaration. He had done it - he had won!

There were noises everywhere. At first Turam thought they were cheers of excitement. But then Turam saw people running. Running scattered over the field and near the trees as if in a panic.

Turam saw the line judge screaming something at him and eyes darting as if in fear and his hands wheeling as if trying to tell Turam to move.

Turam stretched himself catching his breath... what... what...what is going on?

Turam turned around. Turam scanned the field. To his right he saw Turo stumbling off the field seemingly dazed and hurt.

Turam turned to his left and saw Lilat. SCORUS!! He screamed in his head. Lilat lay on the track with a spear piercing her body.

Now every second seemed like an eternity. All he saw and heard were screams and confusion. Turam stood there half crouched he was frozen in time. He was staring at Lilat as if she did not exist. But too vividly she lay there lifeless.

The next thing Turam knew HeartGuard came running towards him. The HeartGuard lifted him up and carried him off the field.

Turam was too numb to notice. Turam was now almost faint in the HeartGuard's arms. The memory of Lilat dead on the field burned into his mind.


*** The HeartGuard is the name for the royal guards of the city.

Hmmm now what to do with...the rest of the story.....

samrw- wow, wow, wow!
The shift from your POV-char being in one frame of mind to another completely different one!

The thing that instantly comes to mind is that if I were in Turat's sandals my thoughts would include:
"Be careful what you wish for. / Did I want to defeat my opponents that bad?"

The thud where he fears Lilat has gone down (like sports-injury / tripped gone down) is reallllly effective foreshadowing for that!
It's got the emotional beginnings, as he wonders... "should I do something for her? no, it can wait a few seconds - I gotta win."
And then... *gasp*
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me, for context wrote:...
"Mind if I catch my breath?" I asked.
"Oh, no, of course not." he said. "I-- I'm sorry. Janice died twenty years ago, I don't know why I keep saying her."
I looked and him very directly and said, "Well, she was important."
And the tears began to flow, "You know, we were married 40 years... forty years!"

I held his hand in my own old one, and it felt cold.
"Forty years is a long time." I sighed.
"What's your name?" I asked him."
"I thought it was only men who forget their friends names! You're so old you come to visit someone in the hospital and you don't even know his name!"
And then he started laughing uncontrollably.
______________________________________

skyweir wrote:Do we continue the previous persons story? Or make up what er within a 2 min timeframe?

It looks like you do your own thing ..


So was hobnobbing with the rich and famous elves today. It was so much fun. We entertained ourselves sipping tea and helping ourselves to elvish treats. It was so very delightful. I turned suddenly at the sound of a shrill scream! Every sense on my skin prickled with urgency. What could that have been?

We all arose at once ...

Yes, you've got the idea!

When I first started trying to do this 2-minute thing, I agonized about "how will I ever think of anything?"
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Sorus wrote:Well, I didn't really get much of it out here, but I like to think it has the potential to be an interesting story.

It has CHARACTERS.
Maybe characters aren't everything, wait, what am I saying? ...characters are everything!
well, okay, not everything, but... most necessary?

Linna - good to see you back in here. I was hoping to see more of your story. I would be interested to read more of your story. You sure know how to develop character and moods.

It was reading your works, Sorus, Peters, Shuram's and the others on here that gave me the courage to try to just get something down - so thanks all!!

Also thanks for your encouragement - I forgot to thank you earlier with Sorus and skyweir. Glad you liked my last section. I enjoyed writing it because it is important "hinge" on the basis of the meat and potatoes of the story in my mind.

samrw3 wrote: Hmmm now what to do with...the rest of the story.....

I don't know, but I am certainly curious about what's going to happen next.

And thanks for encouraging me to continue too. I read something in a blog post (that I can't find now) where an author was saying that she considered it high praise if she managed to disturb the heck out of someone. I enjoy being (vicariously) dragged out of my comfort zone, but trying to balance the knowledge that not everyone feels that way, plus being stubborn about not censoring myself or declawing the story...

It's so good to see activity here though. This is one of my favorite corners of the forum.

Yes I generally enjoy being challenged - to a degree. Place a challenging scientific journal on front of me - I will attack a page or two and just lose interest. Put a challenging novel because it has vivid imagery or description 90% time I will finish it.

I do hope you do take another stab of writing some more here.

The trouble I have with going on is twofold. The story I have in my mind is really long so it obviously doesn't fit in this section.

The other problem is more immediate - I realized while writing the section I just finished that I blew it as an author. I really needed to have a chapter before this section. I needed a chapter of some more world and character building. It is important to me as envisioning this story that it makes sense over the long haul. I just became so excited to write this chapter that I felt too scared to write the chapter before. Now that leads me to a sub problem. I knew this chapter was going to be exciting and have a hook. The chapter before is more slow and reflective. So....would it be interesting to anyone besides myself I wonder? I consider it crucial to my story but not fast paced.

Put another way - lets say someone gave you Lord Fouls Bane in chapters and you had to wait some degree of time between chapters. Now you start of Covenant at his house and everything that occurred. Now you have to wait - would you be invested enough to wait? That section is crucial to the character building but lets be honest not a ton of exciting things happening.

So anyways just spilling my guts on my hesitations. Although I do like your idea of a separate thread that probably makes the most sense.

It is definitely very difficult to do serious worldbuilding in this format. I've struggled with it too. Part of the problem is that I can visualize the world, but I have to keep reminding myself that the rest of you don't live in my head. (Just take a moment to be grateful for that.)

I don't like to over-explain. I'd like to be able to write like Steven Erikson (wouldn't we all?) - and just throw the reader into the middle of the world and let them gradually figure things out. That would be easier than trying to balance character development with worldbuilding and maintaining an interesting plot that people can actually follow.

But the challenge is part of the fun.

I find it challenging to me and therefore interesting. To be honest I would not hurt me one bit if no one had ever read a single word I wrote - because I needed to do it for me.

So I'm struggling should I attempt a story in another thread that is for me and if others enjoy it - even better.

I guess at times it seems like self aggrandizing when I know there are much better writers here. But at the same time I argue with myself that we should display our talents as they exist and no need to compare to others talents. So we will see which way my self arguments come out.

I write a lot of stuff (longhand, on paper) that no one will ever see. For practice, and the necessity of getting it out of my head. A lot of What-was-I-thinking? moments reading it again years later, but that's what practice is good for.