Kevin's Watch

Asperger's might affect your ability to fall in love, but it's not affecting your ability to deal with it. Nobody does a great job with it. You're depressed, confused, and scared, just like all of us have been, far too many times. I've driven my car crying, and I've driven it feeling like I'm about to be the latest victim of spontaneous human combustion. "Everybody plays the fool sometimes." I have no advice worth a damn, and you wouldn't follow it if I did. But you should at least not compound what you're going through with thinking you would have this figured out and feel better if only you didn't have Asperger's. You wouldn't. You're stuck in hell for a while. Carve your initials on the wall next to mine.

I meant I haven't had any practice at it. Neurotypicals learn this when they're younger. I'm getting a crash course in the worst part of love without any preparation. I know I'm not the first person to suffer this kind of pain, but I might be the first Aspie to walk both sides of this particular fence.

Yeah, I understand. I just wanted to set your mind at ease in at least one regard. Your inability to find your way out of this misery is typical.

Tough gig Khaliban. I have no advice. From your description, there may be room for cautious optimism, depending on whether the mother is showing interest merely for the purposes of praying for you or not. Although the additional questions certainly throw the conversation towards cautious optimism.

First things first.

Do you have a means of contacting this lady directly, without needing to go through her mother? If you do, are you comfortable going that route?

Menolly wrote: ↑Mon Jun 05, 2023 2:48 pm First things first.

Do you have a means of contacting this lady directly, without needing to go through her mother? If you do, are you comfortable going that route?

First, yes, I found her number from an online phone book.

Second, not yet. The mother didn't say specifically her daughter was getting a divorce. She implied it heavily and really, really wanted my number, but it's been a week, and she hasn't used it. That suggests to me, if a divorce is under discussion, it is in the probably column not the definitely column.

Third, if I call her blind and ask her if she's getting a divorce, she might think I'm a stalker. She was already reluctant to help me with depression. A call like that probably wouldn't go over well.

Right now, I am trusting her mother and hoping she's on my side. That opinion might change in a few weeks. As with any family, lots of stuff is happening. I don't want to toss in a new variable at the wrong moment.

But, thank you for the support. Every little bit helps.

There's really only one meaningful thing to say... Good luck.

--A

is there a reason to think she’s in a bad marriage?

Only her mother's reactions. She was happier than one might expect to know I lived nearby and not the least bit offended when I declared my love for her married daughter. My few interactions with her tell me she is very religious, very traditional, and very sharp. Her daughter was one of the smartest kids in our class, and I see where she got it. I don't think the mother is the type to ask questions like that randomly. If nothing else, it's eased the depression. It might be short term, but I'll take it.

I’ve got nothing Khaliban ~ but there’s some great advice, love, support and comfort given here

I guess the biggest take-away is that you have support and a cheer squad right here.

I don’t have Asperger’s so I can’t feel as you do now ~ probably no one can but you … but I have been in love and I’ve experienced a broken heart like others here have mentioned.

It’s a tuff mile ~ and we’re rooting for you

Our one month old grandson is coming into town today. His mother is going to meet friends for a couple days so we get to watch the little guy.

Damelon wrote: ↑ Our one month old grandson is coming into town today. His mother is going to meet friends for a couple days so we get to watch the little guy.

Aww…

One month old... For a couple days. Not sure I'd be up for that.

Fist and Faith wrote: ↑ One month old... For a couple days. Not sure I'd be up for that.

He’s loud for a tiny guy!

And it would be a lot more exhausting to watch his big brothers and sister. 5, 3 and 18 months.

Damelon wrote: ↑

Fist and Faith wrote: ↑ One month old... For a couple days. Not sure I'd be up for that.

He’s loud for a tiny guy!

And it would be a lot more exhausting to watch his big brothers and sister. 5, 3 and 18 months.

Wow, they wasted no time

Awww I love hang’n with my grandies but yes it’s very exhausting lol

Enjoy as you know they grow up way too fast!

I’m hoping to get down to my Victorian grandies again in August ~ too long ng between visits but it is difficult when they’re in a different part of the country.

I adore my grandies and get to spend this weekend with Joey my 7yo grandson. We surprised him at school pick up as I was in Canberra picking up my youngest from the airport. Sooo fun!

Well, I'm back. Took a week off work and the internet, which was nice, but all too quickly over.

--A

My daughter turns 13 today!

Spiral Jacobs wrote: ↑ My daughter turns 13 today!

Happy Happy!
A new teen in the family!