Kevin's Watch

I found I couldn't really understand the characters in Gap very well unless I thought about them in terms of their addictions and the causes for them. If you leave off moral judgement and look at what they were afraid of and how they coped with their fear, their actions always make sense even when they don't seem rational. And maybe the best way to determine how well a character grows is to watch what happens when the object of their addiction is taken from them and how they manage without it.
Angus was running from his childhood. He couldn't have had much of a self image. He had no control over anything in his very young life. Not his body certainly and though he is very intelligent you can bet his mind wasn't nurtured in any real sense. The institutions which held him when he got older were not interested in reform at all. He was just thrown in (heh like livestock) with a bunch of other wounded folks whose only means of feeling any sense of control in their otherwise powerless lives was by humiliating those weaker than themselves. It was a lesson he learned well enough. When I think of the object of his addiction it would have to be his ship. The only place where he feels safe. Its why he is willing to do ANYTHING to protect his ship. His haven becomes his addiction and it takes its toll. All his decisions are now bound to--how will this affect my ship?--and it hurts him in the long run. He doesn't interact much, can't grow. The fact that Morn is a cop and he has power over her must have given him the illusion of safety though in his gut he always knew she was a risk. Well we were made to be social critters. His need for human interaction, any human interaction is bigger than his need to protect his addiction so he justifies her life by thinking of it in terms of --well I have my bases covered, she has a zone implant she can't hurt me, oh and hey! she can help me drive Bright Beauty, yeah thats the ticket--funny how we lie to ourselves. When he gives Morn her implant control he must've known on some level there wasn't a chance in the world she would refuse it. Well, there was a chance but not a very big one. It would have been better for Morn (love the duality of her name) to go to the cops and deal with her personal fallout. But the temptation for perceived power after being so helpless was too much for her. She learns real quick how to work her control. Not only does she go from victim to superwoman with just a touch of a button she can exert control over Nick due to his addiction. The zone implant isn't good for her though because it further erodes whatever is left of her self image. It went from helping her cope to dependency in a big hurry. All her choices now revolve around--how will I be able to keep my implant? How can I keep up the illusion?--and so she is shackled. It amazes me that she is at least honest enough with herself to see her relationship with Nick for what it is and not just deny her own responsiblity in it. Nick has his own addictions. His very name sounds like one. I don't remember exactly how but his self image got blasted hard through deception and scorn. He doesn't have the emotional maturity to understand it and he squirms to think her insults are true. His mission? to prove her wrong. He does this a number of ways but the most obvious is how he relates to his crew and especially with women. Wasn't half his crew his former conquests? No woman was going to satisfy him for very long because his base insecurity demanded ever increasing acts loyalty/devotion/humiliation to feed that need. Eventually they all failed and it was on to the next one. Until Morn. I read in another post that Nick was a better guy than Angus because he was willing to do anything for Morn at one point. But that isn't a true comparison. Angus was indeed willing to do anything for Bright Beauty (the focus of his addiction.) So Nick was willing to do anything for Morn. And Morn was gonna do anything to keep her implant. Its not a test of virtue but of slavery. Every one of them freaked out when the object of their addictions was taken from them. Each of them hurt others. The cost was high. People were sold to the Amnion, Davies had no childhood. Death and destruction on all levels because they find it hard to accept and live with the fact of their own vulnerability. Davies is interesting because he started without a self image, probably in withdrawal from the brain drugs of the zone implant and with the memories of a great deal of damage. I can't remember what happend to Davies but he lived didn't he? I would love to read a story in the future from his viewpoint. How he turns out after say 20 or 30 years.

That's very good, arabisha. I say that because you obviously deserve a response, but you have covered the bases so well I don't have a thing to say in reply.

Oh, except what will happen to Davies. At the end of THIS DAY GODS, Davies is one of those awarded the Emblem of Valor, which includes "a sizable pension - as well as the moral equivalent of diplomatic immunity." Also, Davies was a cop in his soul because Morn was, and his experiences have brought him to the point where, now, he is better equipped than Morn to be one. I see him posted to the Enforcement Division.

WOW!! What an awesome post arabisha!!
Other than Morn, in whose case the word "addiction" is used repeatedly to describe her plight, I never thought of it in those terms. But you're right - addiction is a very strong theme in many of the characters. Angus to his ship, (as you so astutely pointed out ) Nick to his sexual conquests/egomania, (ditto) Holt to the ideas of immortality and power, Mikka to her little brother, even Ward to his expiation/atonement.

And of course the other obvious one - Milos with his nics.

Excellent observation! Very well done.

ditto!! arabisha that is a phenomenal summation!!

i agree that you have addressed all that i also cannot add more than has been astutely added by Joy and b&b ..

excellent insight!! kudos on an excellent post and a pleasure to read!!!

well thank you)) people (even fictional ones) are so interesting!!!!

Addiction; yes, that would do it. Unfortunately, I relate to the story in terms of abuse, which I understand all too clearly.

dan, abuse is sad and I hate to hear you are also acquainted with it. Afraid i didn't escape unscathed either (my name is a garbled attempt at self confession...it was supposed to be a combo of Tamar-Abishag-Shulamite...a hope of sorts...arabisha just sounded better than tamabishamite lol.)
anyhow dan it would be my guess that SRD's stories probably mean the most to the people who can best relate. *hugs*

I'm sorry that you guys have suffered abuse, and i agree that SRD's stories probably mean more to people who can relate, i can relate to the guilt which seems key to so many of his characters, btw don't worry, i'm not a murderer or rapist or anything terrible like that, i've just done some things which i'm ashamed off and they motivate me in a lot of my actions. according to SRD that would make me some hero, like TC or Dios, lol i don't think so. anyway i've kinda gone off topic here, i actually wanted to say that i disagree about the whole addiction topic which was mentioned, obviously morn was addicted to her zone implant in the first couple of books, but what about after her control was destroyed by vector? then she was motivated by her desire to be a cop. and i don't agree that angus was addicted to his ship, sure it affected the majority of his decisions, at least near the beginning of the book, but he also changes later on like morn does. and what is nick supposed to be addicted to? sorry, i was having trouble following what you were saying there, your right about all his actions, and the event which caused his insecurity and the desire to sleep with as many women as possible was down to sorus chatelaine, first tricking him and sleeping with him and then leaving him as the only survivor onboard his ship, and she also scarred him.