Kevin's Watch

Posted: **Fri Nov 12, 2004 8:19 pm**

Shall I speak more words, when words were the knife
that tore your heart and took away
the warmth and security you felt when you were
wrapped in my tenderness and love?

Shall I pretend not to know so that you wont be
embarrassed at being wounded by me
your friend and confidant?
How can I?

I take the risk of reaching forth yet again
to lay some balm upon the gaping hole
that was left by my rapier
so quick was I to draw first blood

And now if I am to look "the fool"
I shall own it and not shrink back
For my wound -in wounding-
Is as deep as yours

Be healed

Posted: **Fri Nov 12, 2004 9:14 pm**

Ouch!

Nice work, Cate!

Posted: **Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:32 am**

Very nice - but I won't tick you off!!

Posted: **Sat Nov 13, 2004 4:14 am**

I like it - very visceral imagery, very intense.

And yeah, remind me not to p you off!

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 1:48 am**

And now if I am to look "the fool"
I shall own it and not shrink back
For my wound -in wounding-
Is as deep as yours

Be healed

So much truth in those words!

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 5:00 am**

duchess of malfi wrote:
And now if I am to look "the fool"
I shall own it and not shrink back
For my wound -in wounding-
Is as deep as yours

Be healed
So much truth in those words!

There sure is. Very nice Cate, I like it.

--A

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:47 am**

Beautiful, Cate *smile* true words...

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 8:51 pm**

Thanks, All. You never know what's in you until the pain brings it out, huh?
I think sometimes it hurts much more to hurt someone else than being hurt yourself.

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:23 pm**

A vicious cycle to be sure, and one must ask: how to bring it to a close without harming onesself. To not respond to the pain with pain, or from the pain into pain?

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:33 pm**

Exactly. True. What would YOU?
Say no more?
Close the door?
Leave a space on the shelf?
Hmmm?

Wait. Expect? Assume the worst?
Give it time? Time and Time....
Hateful time,
Stop, no, Go, go on to when
The wrong is righted. at last.

silly. but it felt good coming out.
Thanks, Jem, for drawing that out.
write some more. everywhere. all the time.
Just because.

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:42 pm**

Truly, to suspend the convention is beautiful, that you will respond in such terms, beautiful, to be freed in such a way, beautiful.
Honesty is beautiful and honesty is not bound by grammar. Language is bound by convention, but beauty is bound by nothing.

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:53 pm**

I was bound, then un-bound, then bound again.
Fear let go, love wrapped around.
Then fell, loose and wind-savaged
Hope stood aloof

Come, dear Hope, and hold me tightly
The fear is back demanding entrance
Love, oh Love, you hide your visage
when my strength is at an all time low

Hope, won't you hold my hand
Or better yet, my heart
which stands open and wounded
waiting for either life or death.

Posted: **Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:32 pm**

Hope returns when love returns,
and exists not outside of it.
Never will you find Hope without love,
yet the greatest sadness is love without hope.

Love is the name which must be invoked,
Courage can be without hope,
take courage in love, love will never fail you
for love is its own justification, its own power.

In the service of love, die
and be reborn.

Posted: **Thu Nov 18, 2004 6:23 pm**

Never will you find Hope without love,
yet the greatest sadness is love without hope.

Wow. Mind if I quote that as a signature? That's one of the truest things I've heard for a long time. In a world of joviality and concealed emotions it's not often I hear something that seems so unequivocally correct.

Posted: **Fri Nov 19, 2004 4:10 pm**

Thank you so much for the compliment, that's the kind of encouragement that will get me to write again

Posted: **Mon Nov 22, 2004 2:31 am**

Jem, that was breath-taking.

Posted: **Mon Nov 22, 2004 5:42 pm**

I am denied the pride of my own words,
I disbelieve the truth of my own drama,
and even now as I make these words heard,
I refuse to hear them myself.

Such things are for others, such joy, for others, such feelings, for others, such truths, for others.
There was a time when madness threatened to claim my mind irrevocably, and at that time,
sacrifices were made.

To regain stability I sacrificed orientation. To regain sanity, I sacrificed loss. To gain ground on pain, I sacrificed the possibility of pain. To secure my emotions, I sacrificed my emotions. I am a performer and a husk, with no idea of how to replace the embalming fluid that runs through my veins with the blood of the living.

For such reasons, the inherent affirmations in your words, leave me with only pain and denial.
But as they say, giving a gift honors the giver.

Posted: **Mon Nov 22, 2004 5:48 pm**

However,
Poetry circumvents my loss, and the act of writing lives in a place of me that still breathes, and screams for escape.
Which is why I write so little. I am a battleground, on one hand, survival, and on the other, humanity. The struggle is useless, the defenses, outdated, and the walls I built to protect myself have become a prison, as they do for everyone.
Thank you for this, then.
To communicate in the language of emotion is a great gift to me, a taste of freedom.

Posted: **Tue Nov 23, 2004 11:35 pm**

Your words have struck a note deep in me
where emotions wrestle to see who wins
my soul for the moment

You spoke of the "battleground"
and this is true
Battle rage continually for possession
sometimes annihilation it seems is what is sought
The heights and depths so completely opposite
and so quickly brought
From hilarious to frightening
From the heights of joy
To the depths of despair

If the Truth is that we have any power at all
Then how will we ever come to the True knowledge of it?
Will the soul finally find that It was the treasure chest all along?

Posted: **Wed Nov 24, 2004 6:36 am**

Kahlil Gibran Wrote:

And the priestess spoke again and said:

"Speak to us of Reason and Passion."

And he answered saying:

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.

Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.

But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

If either your sails or our rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.

Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."

And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."

And since you are a breath In God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.

--Avatar

Kevin's Watch

To Heal a Wound

To Heal a Wound