Kevin's Watch

Since the verdict on the anthology submissions is now in, I might as well post this. It's the first section I wrote, back in November, of a larger work in progress. The reason it appears to start with a random quote is because that's the song lyric that inspired this.


Announcement: This has been removed in my great purge of 31/8/05. I may send any or all of these to genre publications, and I don't want any issues because they're available here for free. In fact, this particular piece may well feature in my book, since it was the origin of said book.

And this is just the beginning of it? Nice. I think it's got a lot of potential.

--Avatar

Brilliant, I want to read the rest of it!

I believe I first read this at the end of last year.

And I told you then that I liked it.

Thanks everyone

Very good, man. Reminds me a lot of Steakly's book Armor, which in my book is high praise.

CJ, I had read your story while it was sitting in the Anthology email account. I enjoyed it a second time. Well done.

Thanks, both of you. I've never read Armor, but if you say it's a compliment, Syl, I'll take it as such

Very enjoyable, but also rather frustrating.

Enjoyable, because it's well-written; the concepts, and particularly the characters - and their relationships - are very intriguing.

Frustrating, because it's not enough. As you're obviously aware yourself, it's a fragment rather than a complete story. I'd love to read the whole thing!

Maybe one day I'll finish it

You will if you know what's good for you!

I hope my other segments live up to the anticipation...



Scratch that, they don't. Ah well.

Huh. Who asked your opinion?

We'll be the judges of that, thankyewverymuch!

Just write the dam' thing.

*sigh* Ok... By (slightly) popular demand, the second bit follows. Now, you need to comprehend something at this juncture. I'm not writing this in order. The second bit I wrote comes after "Shatter the Sky" but other than this I'm mostly focusing on the backstory to "Shatter..." and the fluid nature of the escalating conflict between the two characters.

Anyway. After the second, there's an addendum which will come in due course. These bits are more...I don't know, I'll just post the damn things.

Enjoy/tolerate:


Announcement: This has been removed in my great purge of 31/8/05. I may send any or all of these to genre publications, and I don't want any issues because they're available here for free.

Announcement: This has been removed in my great purge of 31/8/05. I may send any or all of these to genre publications, and I don't want any issues because they're available here for free.

I think it was SRD who said, "When a writer asks for criticism, what he really wants is a pat on the back."

This is true of most writers. We are an insecure lot, often needing little boosts to our ego. However, at a certain point, you must learn how to listen to the bad stuff.

It's too much. Too many words, too much conflicting imagery, too much telling, too much effort at intensity. It doesn't create tension. It assaults you with the effort of trying to be tense.

I remember vividly the narcotic joy of discovering purple prose. It is an important skill to learn and an important habit to break.

Cut it by a third. Cut one-third of the words from each sentence. Do not cut one-third of the sentences. That's cheating.

Twain said, "If you see an adjective, kill it." Follow his advice.

I don't say this to be cruel. I say it to help.

Huh, I thought it kicked arse, but then I don't study Literature or language or writing, so enjoying without analysis is, presumably of less worth.

Khaliban wrote:I think it was SRD who said, "When a writer asks for criticism, what he really wants is a pat on the back."

This is true of most writers. We are an insecure lot, often needing little boosts to our ego. However, at a certain point, you must learn how to listen to the bad stuff.

It's too much. Too many words, too much conflicting imagery, too much telling, too much effort at intensity. It doesn't create tension. It assaults you with the effort of trying to be tense.

I remember vividly the narcotic joy of discovering purple prose. It is an important skill to learn and an important habit to break.

Cut it by a third. Cut one-third of the words from each sentence. Do not cut one-third of the sentences. That's cheating.

Twain said, "If you see an adjective, kill it." Follow his advice.

I don't say this to be cruel. I say it to help.

Duly noted. I think I have evolved a less elaborate style as time has worn on. Bear in mind that I had been writing for less than a month when I did these, and was still trying to find my footing. I'm certainly aware of the perils of being needlessly wordy - Gene Wolfe springs to mind.

In any case, I think when a sincere writer asks for criticism, what he wants is enough back-patting to believe it's worth continuing and enough constrctive criticism to believe he can always improve.

Regardless, I'm a mere amateur and as such I'm at the mercy of my muse. If the muse speaks in tongues, that's what goes on the paper.


Nathan - thank you. It's always encouraging to believe I'm doing something people enjoy.

Oh, and Khaliban - I've just this moment realised why your post got on my nerves though I do my best to be open to constructive criticism. It's because you were quite condescending. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that again.

CovenantJr wrote:Oh, and Khaliban - I've just this moment realised why your post got on my nerves though I do my best to be open to constructive criticism. It's because you were quite condescending. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that again.

Sorry about that. Some writers can be very defensive. Terry Goodkind, for example. I tried to cushion the blow and perhaps cushioned too much.

Nathan wrote:...I don't study Literature or language or writing, so enjoying without analysis is, presumably of less worth.

Actually, the opposite is true. Reading for pure enjoyment is an enviable position. It is the reason people read fiction in the first place. As a writer, I must analyze everything and have lost the capacity to enjoy 90% of what I read. The analysis serves my writing but nearly destroys one of my greatest pleasures. The worth of a story is in its effect, and the worth of the reader is in his capacity to accept that effect.