Kevin's Watch

Dora the Explorer: The show condones sociopathic behavior!

Today on "Dora the Explorer", Benny was in a life or death situation when the balloon he was flying began to leak.
His cries for help were answered by Dora and Boots who had the needed vital life saving sticky tape to fix the balloon and save Benny.
But get this.
Swiper the Fox god-damn STEALS the sticky tape before they get it to Benny.
Takes it right out of Dora's hand.
Practically rapes her.
Then, does he even use it?
No, the f#cker tosses it into the woods and then runs away laughing about it as Benny spirals down into a lake full of snapping crocodiles.
Somehow, only through the grace of God, Dora and Boots pull off a miracle at mortal risk to themselves and get the tape to Benny.
But there's no shown resolution to Swiper's felony!
It's even hinted that everyone knows about Swiper's Obsessive Compulsive disorder and lets it happen.
There's even some type of half-ass procedure in place to deal with it.
Though often it fails.
This Swiper "issue" needs to be dealt with.
I would suggest a sudden assualt.
Bombard his home on Blueberry Hill with several daisy cutters and small arms fire.
After being subdued he should be immediately taken to a Vet and then neutered.
See how that bastard likes getting his testicles swiped.
See if the son-of-a-bitch thinks that's funny!

DOWN WITH SWIPER!

On a side note, Dora's Mom is a MILF that I'd like to "explore".





(Should I mention that work is stressful, my son is sick and I've been lacking a lot of sleep?)





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I agree that an attempt to find some permanent solution to Swiper should be made. Yelling "Swiper, no swiping!" at him, often not in time, is clearly insufficient. Is that what we do with people with a proven history of stealing?

And Big Red Chicken is gay! What are we teaching our children ...

And here I just ordered a Dora the Explorer birthday cake for my oldest.....

"Can we do it?"
"Yes we CAN!!"

::: ooops, sorry. wrong show :::

i hope this show gets banned!

Yah, I'm not a fan of it either, yet my daughter likes it. And Dora has such a gringa accent in her Spanish...
The repetition is absolutely annoying. I know repetition is a good way for kids to leard, but what is the show asking them to learn..? -- directions to some silly place anyone can see for themselves if they plainly look: "Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. GRANMA'S HOUSE!!!!!!!!" And that is just the map. Then it's Dora's turn to repeat it over and over again... "Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. GRANMA'S HOUSE!!!!!!!!"

Gads. Give me "Peep and the Big Wide World", or "Big Comfy Couch" any day...

See, as parents we have all these pent up frustrations we have to hide from our kids... Thank the gods for forums like this where we can vent...

It's still better than the horror that is/was Barney.

I had a party the day she outgrew the big purple bastard.

Usivius wrote: Road. Forest. Granma's house. Road. Forest. GRANMA'S HOUSE!!!!!!!!"

Hahahahahahahaha................................!
OMG, I was just thinking this this morning while watching it with my son.
But you know what?
He totally loves repeating it and each time louder than the last.

All sarcasm aside, I do like the show too.
But sometimes I just think................Oh Maaaaannnnnn!

I seem to remember that they had Swiper a birthday party once.I really like the old Blues Clues with Steve-whats not to like about a show with talking salt and pepper shakers.

Barney takes me at least 30 minutes to get annoyed enough to leave the room. Dora takes less than five. It's the yelling. I can't stand it. NOBODY should yell as their primary means of communication (seriously, it's like somebody typing all in caps). And yeah, the whole Swiper bit seemed pretty damned strange to me. Thank god it only comes on in our house on the weekends.

<tangential rant> And to tell you the truth, Elmo annoys the hell out me. Worst Sesame Street character ever. And he's everywhere. He's a plague, I tell you. He's Slimer and Scrappy rolled into one. And that bear with the speech impediment can go, too. And god help me, my son loves Elmo. I've learned to live with it, but... Whatever happened to Kermit the Frog or Guy Smiley (is it a post Jim Henson thing, or do they just not test well?)? It may still be the best kids show on PBS, but it's a slim margin these days. And most of that is probably because 90% of their bits are still recycled from the 70s and 80s. And it's always the same ones!

The shows don't talk to kids; they play to them. I don't use baby talk when I talk to my son; I don't see why the TV should. It's like the difference between Joe and Steve (and don't get me started on the dung that is Blue's Room). As much as he always creeped me out, where's the new Mr. Rogers?

Syl wrote: Whatever happened to Kermit the Frog or Guy Smiley (is it a post Jim Henson thing, or do they just not test well?)?

Well, there was a reason why Big Bird sang It's Not Easy Being Green at Henson's funeral, and not Kermit...

Yeah, I kind of thought that, but at the same time, I'd hope that Kermit, as an idea, would be immortal in the sense that Henson, as a man, was not.

I believe they had Kermit voices after Henson's death, especially for some of the Muppet movies made since he passed. But I don't think Kermet is used frequently anymore. I imagine it could be a painful experience for the long time Muppeteers.

Cail wrote:It's still better than the horror that is/was Barney.

I had a party the day she outgrew the big purple bastard.

I cannot express to you how glad I was when my children outgrew Barney, Power Rangers, and all of the rest of that stuff. I am constantly happy that Dora, etc. came along after they outgrew such shows. Dora and Teletubbies some of the other shows that are on now look horribly irritating from the bits and pieces I have seen here and there. The "kid" things they still enjoy are things I also enjoy, like Harry Potter movies. I can deal with it.

Now that they are older I can go to rock concerts and Shakespeare plays and other such completely enjoyable events together. The world can be a wonderful place, and it is a joy beyond words to be able to introduce the two people I love more than life to some of its greatest wonders.

But I feel compelled to add that nothing -- nothing -- nothing can be as bad as Pokemon movies (especially the first one). I have never misspent another two hours (or however long that movie was -- it felt like an eternity) as I did when I sat through that horrid thing at the movie theater.

Pokemon. Oh my God, those movies were bad. I actually took my flask in to see the second one.

For The Esmer...

Can someone delete this whole thread now.
Wayfriend just ruined the whole thing.

whilst at lunch today i saw two episodes of Davey & Goliath. if you haven't seen this claymation masterpiece in a while, go find it. it is seriously strange stuff.
www.daveyandgoliath.org/

I remember Davey and Goliath. A little too Chr-stian for me, but some nice simple storylines.

IMO, beats Gumby anyday...