Kevin's Watch

The previous post carries my personal seal of approval

Oh God... Linden portrayed as a Goth-ette bad-ass...

As if you sicko male members of Linden's Army actually needed any more fuel for your oh so twisted fan-boi fantasies.

Since it has been pointed out that SRD invariably chooses all his words and especially his character names with great care and forethought, may I take this opportunity to point out to all you Linden's Army saddos that Linden's full name itself is a direct anagram of:-

1. NERVY DENIAL
(A state Linden is permanently and irritatingly prone to, whenever decisive action is required from her. Couldn't you just slap her?)

and

2. NARY LIVENED
(Let's face it, Linden truly *is* "nary livened". There's nothing that can ever enthuse her or rouse her to action because she's always too busy weeping buckets whilst peering both compulsively and futilely into the depths of her own navel)

and possibly most telling of all

3. NAIVELY NERD
(Could there be a more fitting summation of the character of anyone dumb enough to hold the Princess of Procrastination in any sort of esteem? You guys really need to get out more)

Coincidence? Hardly... and I think that pretty much says it all.

THOOLAH! THOOLAH! THOOLAH!

Orlion wrote:The previous post carries my personal seal of approval

It's just as I've always imagined her!

THOOLAH is an an anagram for holhota, which is of course Finnish (!) for "to patronize".

pwnd.

Too bad SRD never descibes her gothic lolita dress in detail, but obstinately remains in the world of torn flannel shirts and grass-stained jeans...

TheFallen wrote:...listens to sickeningly weepy stuff like "(Can't Live If Living Is) Without You" by Harry Nilsson (who's got a worryingly nordic-kinda name, no? ). She's almost certainly got a full collection of James Blunt CDs as well.. *shudder*.

I tried to search for those particular names in my Spotify history and Ipod, but for some unknown reason found bands like these instead: Wardruna, Tengger Cavalry, Frosttide, Skálmöld, Fortíð, Hamferð, plenty of Finntroll...did someone hack both and dump half the names found in Metal Archives within? D: And why does today's hoodie spell "Amon Amarth" instead of James Blunt? Halp!

TheFallen wrote:Hence why any Linden's Army get-together sounds like a sorority house schmaltzy weep-a-thon.

Not if I hijack the position of the DJ.
Although I suspect that L-festers might suffer from a hefty culture shock...

*Offers TheFallen a ladder*

Okay. If I'm being truly honest I really belong to THE HOLY ORDER OF LINDEN AVERY DISLIKERS - THOOLAD which kind of sounds like the son of THOOLAH. The point is I don't actually HATE Linden. I just dislike her most of the time. She is a Stephen Donaldson creation after all and being a faithful fan of SRD I can't bring myself to actually hate any of his characters. Well, maybe Nick Succorso. You can't pronounce his name aloud without thinking of the word "suck". But I digress.
I'm not advocating a sub-branch of THOOLAH but it is worth noting that we don't all HATE Linden entirely. But she does spend most the time working on my last good nerve.

You might scoff, but I know THOOLAH is a false religion. THOOTP is where it's at!

dANdeLION wrote:You might scoff, but I know THOOLAH is a false religion. THOOTP is where it's at!

Where what is at? It?

It's THOOOTP, not THOOTP.

wayfriend wrote:It's THOOOTP, not THOOTP.

In either case I don't post off topic.

Except now!

Unless you believe THOOTP is somehow related to THOOLAH in which case I'm good.

I thought THOOLAH was over when the last book came out...

Some people just can't give up the power when they got their hooks into you.

Ur Dead wrote:I thought THOOLAH was over when the last book came out...

aTOMiC wrote:

Ur Dead wrote:I thought THOOLAH was over when the last book came out...

Not hardly, Ur Dead.

For some, it increased the conviction to remain a member of THOOLAH.

THOOLAH was over in 1983. They just didn't know it.

THOOLAH is alive and well.

I'm still quite comfortable with my dislike of the Linden Avery character.

Try to imagine an alternate version of Raiders of the Lost Ark where the audience is in the midst of watching Indiana Jones perform some exciting, death defying stunt and right at the most interesting point Marion Ravenwood sticks her face in between the action and the camera and says "I'm broken! I'm complex. Look at me. I'm distressed. Watch me sit on the floor and be paralyzed by my indecision. LOVE ME DAMN YOU!!!!" Then as Indy is confronted by one of Belloq's assassins he reaches down to grab his whip off his belt and finds that Marion has taken it and, without ONE BLOODY OUNCE of training, whips the assassin's gun out of his hand like an expert and walks away...with Indy's whip...leaving Harrison Ford standing in the street looking at Steven Spielberg with a look like "What is the matter with you? Why the hell would you do that to my character? Have you lost your freaking mind? And Spielberg slowly turns to George Lucas, who is sitting next to him, and silently scowls".

As I've said many times Linden Avery is in the way. She's standing in front of Thomas Covenant and I can't see him. The ONLY reason I'm paying attention to this story in the first place is because of Covenant but I can't see him. Every time I try to follow what he's doing Linden Avery is there obstructing my view.

But that's just my opinion.

I hope every member of Linden's Army has a good day today. (No sarcasm intended).

Brilliant!

Pah!

dlbpharmd wrote: Brilliant!

Many thanks.

I've always maintained that the 2nd should be entitled (or subtitled) "The Chronicles of Linden Avery". But that being said, I like the 2nd overall better than the 1st, and she's a big part of why.