Kevin's Watch

How do you think you will face death, when it comes strolling up? Not sure, myself. Depends on the manner of death. If I am caught off guard while in my youth, I'd probably beg like crazy, my throat choked with emotion. Some days, though, I entertain a future where I'm old and tired of the whole "life" affair, to the point that endless separation from my awareness would be a welcome boon.

Maybe it makes life more precious, since we are only here for so long. People say "we'd go crazy if we lived forever." No way of truly knowing that, but my gut tells me I'd rather have cognizance for eternity than being a piece of compost. In the end, I guess it's a question we all like to ignore--I know I do. But I also know that it's going to be there one day, looming too big to turn away from. Outside of religion, I'm not sure there's a proper answer to it. Covenant looked for it, found some integrity in his search. I guess that's the best we can do, too.

Well, there goes Foul with one of his asinine "broad threads about life" threads. Yep.

"To die will be a great adventure." --Peter Pan

I'm thinking shocked disbelief, followed by a terrified, quaking resignation. I don't think that will change as I grow older. I'm a coward, but I hate to beg, so I'd like to think that I will at least have enough dignity to die quietly, even if I'm terrified.

Could be wrong, though. I've never had a gun pointed at my face before, or been told I had a terminal illness. Won't really know 'til I get there, I guess.

How you view/fear your own death depends on how old you are, imho.
As your body changes and weakens with age your mind adapts and prepares itself.

I have a Grandmother who is 97 years old.
For many years now every little movement has subjected her to pain.
And she's tired.

I haven't talked to her about how she feels about death, it would break my heart, but I imagine that she feels differently about it than she did when she was 20 or 30 or 60.

I've read about how others felt that death would be a great release.
And of course, other who are terrified.

Myself, I'm 37 and my biggest fear of death is not about myself but not being there for my wife and kids.
I imagine that in the future when my kids have grown and my wife is more finacially secure my attitude toward my own death will change again to a more personal fear like I had when I was younger.

I don't know.
Just my thoughts.

Good post HLT. If death were to come for me now (also 37 with wife and kid), I'd probably pee my pants, then start crying. I'm not ready to check out just yet.

I'll probably have a very different opinion when I'm 90.

I think that the biggest fear is always the things left undone. When my Grandma passed, she was ready to go - she had raised her children, met her great-grandchildren, outlived her husband - she had led a full life, and was no longer able to care for herself.

She was at peace with her death, and spent her last few months preparing her children for it. It was the last lesson she had to teach us, and she taught it, and went away.

The meaning and purpose of death may not be about death at all - it may be about the importance of living.

Has anyone ever dreamed something where they die. Sometimes I have a dream where I find myself hundreds of feet in the air, and then I realize that this is problematic, and then I realize I'm going to plummet to my death.

I always have this oh-well-my-life's-problems-are-gone kind of feeling, sort of like after getting through college finals, only more so.

So I kinda think that, when the time comes, I'll feel like all the weight of the world is lifted from my shoulders, and I'll be relaxed about it, and let go peacefully.

Yeah, that's what I try to focus on, Wayfriend. I like to think of death as a counter-weight to all our struggles. Perhaps future technology will find a way to defeat death. But would we accept that technology or continue to die? I mean, living forever could be like staying in the "shadow lands", as C.S. Lewis or someone said. We could be giving up a great afterlife (or not). Which comes back to the "undiscovered territory" that death is.

I can only speak for myself, but I believe everyone (healthy or not) can't deny the instinctual fear of the unknown breathing down one's neck. It's like going into a dark room. It makes my ego go *poof* every time I think of it (which is a good thing sometimes, heh). Eh, I dunno. I'd like to think one of two things: death is just a new stage, or life is a long reconcilement with letting go. Maybe none, maybe both. My gut instinct is to run from death, so I often doubt how good it is if my biology reproaches it so.

Perhaps, in the end, I'll just be glad that I survived so long. I'll probably take pride that I've faced so much change, such discrimination (not that I face any now, but once I become old I'll surely be stereotyped). Negotiating my own independence and autonomy is perhaps the best I can do. *shrugs*

I try not to think about dying.

When I do I inevitably think about what it feels like to be dead, rather than the manner of my death. I'd rather die in a dignified manner, if at all possible. If not, a quick painless death is my second choice.

There are not many things that I truly fear. Death is one of them, I'd hate to not be alive, I enjoy it too much.

As a quasi-solipsist, death is something that happens to other people. Like Nathan, I try not to think about it. There's not much I can do about it, so what's the use? If I think about it too much, it starts to depress me.

As far as facing certain death, I think that would be easy; it's facing uncertain death that scares me. Knowing you're going to die would offer the aforementioned sense of peace, I think, but not knowing how to live...

Anybody ever see the small indie movie Dream with the Fishes?

"An idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."
Anton Chekov

sometimes i wonder about death. i have seen a lot of it. (worked on a cancer wing at a teaching hospital)
mostly, i concern myself with how to live.

Another one for the 37 with wife and kids club here!

And I feel much the same as Cail: Kicking and screaming today, but probably quite differently when (or rather if) I'm 90. As HLT, my biggest fear today is leaving my wife and son unprovided for.

Providing for wife and kids is something that I worry about now. Because now is when I can do something about it. So I've gotten life insurance, etc.

However, if that moment comes when I know I'll be dead in a minute, I don't think I'll fear for them. How much I care for them doesn't equate to how much I'll worry about them. Because, as I said, during that minute, all the chances to do something will be gone. What will be will be.

Part of this comes from a long-growing life philosophy that life is a hand of cards. You get what you get; play the best game you can. Which means, there's no rules that say everyone is healthy, grows up with two parents, gets happilly married, sets up a nice home, etc. People who think that there's things that you're due just for being alive are so doomed to despair. You get what you get. What matters is how well you play with the cards you get; worrying about the cards you didn't get (and everyone else seemed to get) just makes you miserable.

So when I kick the ol' bucket, well, that's the card that gets dealt to the kids. I've done my best to teach them to play the hand they get, and not the one they wish they got. (That's what I'm doing now, because now is when I can do it.)

So, whether it's next week or in fifty years, I don't think that my last minutes will be filled with worry and fear. I will be so beyond that.

(Of course, this is speculation; the reality may be I go out screaming with eyeballs bursting and blood fountaining from my ears. Or, more likely, I won't even know it's happening until it's over.)

BTW: Did I say, do what you can do while you can do it? Another long-grown life philosophy.

Random babble about the ephemeral quality of life: On the planet's timetable, our existence probably looks like a bunch of amoebas scurrying in every direction for about five seconds and then *poof* gone! I dare not even contemplate what our "long lives" would look like from the universe's scale! I mean, just think of all that has happened to humanity in the past 2000 years, and then think that was around 0.00001% of the planet's age.

Actually, since nothing exists when I'm not thinking about it you guys are are pretty much screwed when I die.
If I can die.

Good post HLT. Didn't know you were a solipsist.

Prebe wrote:
Good post HLT. Didn't know you were a solipsist.

I thought you would say something like that.


Is that what that type of thinking is called?
I didn't know that.
It's an attractive God-like way of thinking.
If true I would like to apologise to you all though for having such a mundane mind.

Wayfriend wrote:Part of this comes from a long-growing life philosophy that life is a hand of cards. You get what you get; play the best game you can. Which means, there's no rules that say everyone is healthy, grows up with two parents, gets happilly married, sets up a nice home, etc. People who think that there's things that you're due just for being alive are so doomed to despair. You get what you get. What matters is how well you play with the cards you get; worrying about the cards you didn't get (and everyone else seemed to get) just makes you miserable.

exactly! play the hand you're dealt as best you can. some get a royal flush, some get aces and eights. luck of the draw.

High Lord Tolkien wrote:

Prebe wrote:
Good post HLT. Didn't know you were a solipsist.

I thought you would say something like that.

Don't worry, HLT. Just because you're a solipsist doesn't mean Prebe actually exists.

Prebe doesn't exist. He allegedly occupies a theoretical hole in the randomly generated myth of time and space.