Kevin's Watch

heh, make you're comments here.

I want to be a writer when I'm older. It's my dream and ambition. Therefore I charge you to be unmerciful regarding my work. what do you think needs improving? My weaknesses? Strengths?

heh, also, enjoy!

Good start, Darth!

You have a way with words.

Keep the installments coming.

now all it needs...and i'm going to keep lobbying for this...is DRAWINGS from LOREMASTAH!!!




next installment please darth

hehe, hopfully I'll post it tomorrow - danlo did a good job of editing the first one, so I'm going to ask him if he wouldn't mind doing it again.

Is it possible for the mods of this forum to sticky these topics?

A couple of typos, but the story has promise.

Well done, Revan. Keep them coming.

(Not bad for 15 minutes, I had to pick the kidz up at daycare. Hey I didn't miss those, he added stuff later... )

Well done, Revan.

heh, sorry to keep you waiting poeple. I've pmed Jay and Alynna - I would Vain, but I fear that it futile.

I asked about the Watch when it first began. Details and such. As you've sincec with my sample chapter, I want fiction created around truth. I've actually written what I intend to be the first chapter - but I may alter it.

Lucimay wrote:now all it needs...and i'm going to keep lobbying for this...is DRAWINGS from LOREMASTAH!!!

I gave up illustration six years ago, I doubt it will happen again -sorry Luci and Darth.

Loremaster wrote:

Lucimay wrote:now all it needs...and i'm going to keep lobbying for this...is DRAWINGS from LOREMASTAH!!!

I gave up illustration six years ago, I doubt it will happen again -sorry Luci and Darth.

I never knew you were an artist anyways. It's a shame you gave it up - I should like to see it.

Anyone else an artist?

I've also been writing some poetry, (I've gone around writing anything I can these days) not very good. First time I've tried it really.

thats hilarious revan. top stuff.

i was thrown slightly at the beginning because you weren't speaking from your own pov but after i got over that it was really good. looking forward to future installments.

The Sith Lord plays a dangerous game. Scheming against Mods is one thing, but to lay a plot against an Admin? Shocking.

I wonder if the mystery of the one named Alynna will be revealed. It could be a tale very much worth hearing.

I liked the mood and the atmosphere of the story--and all of the sensory descriptions made it live.

Also, excellent dialogue--very natural; flows nicely between characters.

The Darth Revan character REEKS of EVUL. I love it.

I'm excited to see what comes next. Do you want me to point out the little grammatical and mechanical errors?

(And when will the sultry Queen of Nigeria enter the story??)

Nice mood developed - tho picturing Darth all powerful!! And Hier as such a wusss! Hmmmmm .... I wonder if Hier (or Ur-vile) will have competing stories!

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Alright, done the next part, just running it by danlo in the editing process.

Good stuff Darth. Look forward to further installments.

--A

Done! Finally.

This one was written by Darth and Edited by Cho.

Hope you enjoy it.

I did.

--A

Yeah it's pretty good.

But how can a void be nothingness personified?

James wrote:Yeah it's pretty good.

But how can a void be nothingness personified?

Dunno...