Kevin's Watch

Someone started this at another site, and it can be fairly fun.

One person posts a wish (for example, as came up on the other site, "I wish I had a self driving car"). Then the next person must corrupt the wish (to follow the above example, the response was "Wish granted. Your car drives itself to the destinations it wants to visit, giving you no say in the matter."), followed by a wish of their own.

Shall I begin?

I wish I wasn't always so tired in the morning.

due to the differences in global time zones its morning somewhere all the time so your consequently never tired, meaning that you get no neccassary rem sleep and die. wish granted.

i wish i had the strength of twelve men.

*Poof* You smell like twelve sweaty men.

(Or *poof* you have the muscles of twelve men on the skeleton of one.)

I wish the next lottery ticket I bought would be the grand prize winner.

Poof!
You're divorced the next day and never see a dime of it.



I wish I was Superman.

Poof! Now you're an 85 year old man running around in your longjohns, freaking out every time you see a green rock.....

I wish I was me!

**Poof** You're now have multiple personality dissorder (although that may have already been the case)

I wish that Fatal Revenent came out tomorrow.

drew wrote: I wish that Fatal Revenent came out tomorrow.

POOF!
Tonight you go blind and the audio book doesn't come out until 2009.


I wish my feet never got tired.

*poof*

in reffering to your feet like they are a seperate being you encourage them to develop a conscience of their own. they grow to resent your failure to wash them and attack you with repeated kicks to the back of your legs. you negotiate an uneasy truce until you find them engaging in unscrupulous acts with your wife behined your back. its at this point you provide an ultimatum that its either you or the feet. your wife chooses the feet. she cites their unquenchable energy and lack of tiredness in pleasing her as the main reason.

i wish for a sandwich.

Tazz wrote:i wish for a sandwich.

*PUNCH* It's a knuckle sammich.

I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator.

*poof*
You are now the proud owner of a plastic sandwich.

I wish my house renovations were totally completed.

I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator.

*poof* you lose the ability to put anything off and live a short, hectic life.

I wish my house renovations were totally completed.

*poof* your wife/gf/spouse/mother assume that because your such a home improvemant expert and can finish jobs so quickly that you may aswell renovate the nieghbours and friends' houses.

i wish i was a wolf boy.

*poof* You scare off yor girlfriend with your hairyness (although that may be the case).

I wish for an egg.

Spring wrote:I wish for an egg.

*poof* you have an egg. Then you pine away in spiraling depression until you throw yourself under a bus, because you had a wish and only wished for an egg.

I wish I knew everything.

Poof! You just learned the true meaning of life is for us humans to slave and toil our whole lives, in order to care for our cats, who couldn't be bothered to tell us this fact way back in the stone age, when they created us for thid purpose.

I wish I hadn't lost Charlize Theron's number....

Wish granted. You have Ms. Theron's number, but find out that a) she is dumber than a sack of hair and b) is also so frigid that she crushes ice cubes to warm up.

I wish I had three wishes.

*poof* You have three wishes, and can do a lot of wishing. Unfortunately you didn't wish that they would be granted.

I wish George W Bush went to prison for something.

Wish granted. At the ripe old age of 93, George W. Bush is convicted of genocide and sent to jail. Not that you care. You've been dead for decades - your city was the first one to be destroyed in retaliation for the nuking of Iran.

I wish I was a motivated person.

I wish I was a motivated person.

Wish granted. You are compelled to clean every item in your living space 4 times per day, twice on Wednesday, to remove the stain of imperfection on said items left by the unmotivated souls who likely assembled, manufactured, or otherwise hand a hand in creating them.

I wish for world peace.

DukkhaWaynhim wrote:
I wish for world peace.

*Poof*

For this wish to come true Bird Flu super mutates and kills 100% of the population.


I wish I never had to clean my fishtank.

I wish I never had to clean my fishtank.

*POOF*
Now you just will have to clean up the dead & decaying fish inside.

I wish that the workweek was 2 days work and 5 days off.