The "I won an Academy Award!" Game

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:38 pm

If you ever wondered what it would be like to give an acceptance speech at the Oscars you are in luck.

Through your speech identify what the award is for and tell why you deserve it and thank all the people that made it possible.

Award: Best supporting sound grip

"I am humbled more than I can say. I'd like to thank my hamster Skip, the lady in the front row who seems to be staring at my shoes and lastly my parents who did nothing to discourage a young boy who dreamt of one day holding a pole with a microphone attached to the end above some actor's face. This is truly an unexpected honor since I had no idea anyone was paying attention in the first place. Kudos to the Academy who seem to have collectively lost their minds."

Post by **JIkj fjds j** » Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:00 pm

Award: Catering

I want to thank my Mum for showing me as kid how to do a good fry up, like egg'n'chips, egg'n'chips with beans, egg'n'chips with peas, or just plain ol chips'n'ketchup - with, or without, tea'n'bread. My Dad for showing me as

and tomato, cheese burger and bacon, bacon'n'eggs, bacon egg'n'chips, bacon egg'n'chips with beans, bacon egg'n'chips with peas, bacon on plain bread or baps, with or without, tea. A

me the finer points of pizza egg'n'chips, pizza egg'n'chips with beans, pizza egg'n'chips with peas, pizza egg'n'chips and egg'n'chips with bacon, tea and bread and butter.
Who would thought, eh. Thanks

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:48 pm

Award: Best character with pants

"Thank you everyone for this prestigious honor. As you can see I don't wear pants in real life so it was an especially difficult role for me to play. However it was an important message to send to the kids out there that wearing pants is okay. Don't let anyone tell you different, especially celebrities that have only one name. Thank you again. Which way do I go?"

Post by **sgt.null** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 7:48 am

Award - best original screen play.

"Thank you everyone, especially the Academy for having no one who has ever read any books by Roy Downs, who I stole from quite liberally."

Post by **aTOMiC** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 3:25 pm

Award - Outstanding FX

"I don't know what to say. I mixed oatmeal and candycanes together by accident and now I'm getting and award. What a country."

Post by **sgt.null** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 7:41 pm

best actor

"Thank you to my acting coach, for discovering hypnotism works, thank you to my agent, for forgetting to get the decimal point correct. Thank you to the voters for not owning a copy of "The Bridges of Deaf Conty."

Post by **aTOMiC** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 1:43 pm

BEST Screenplay

Thanks of the Academy for recognizing my genius and for overlooking the fact that I lifted my idea from Lord Fouls Bane

Post by **deer of the dawn** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 4:24 pm

Best Dance Performance

"Uh, thank you, I have no idea what the heck I am doing here because I dance like a bear, although I do enjoy myself enormously. I would like to thank Steven Spielberg for taking such appalling risks in casting me as Leia in Star Wars: The Musical, and my good friend Shahrom Coz for writing the score. That's him, way in the back. Wave hi, Shahrom! No, don't light your hair on fire, we discussed this! Oh, geez..."

Post by **aTOMiC** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:48 am

Best Supporting Actor

"Thanks again. I can't believe I've won 5 Oscars in one night. I think this one however is by far the most literal as I spent my character's entire screen time holding up the main protagonist with my spine. It was quite difficult at times but I have to thank the FX department for making it look unbearable."

Post by **DoctorGamgee** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:31 pm

Best Actor on the Cutting-room Floor.

Tom Bombadill couldn't be here this evening to accept his award, but would like to thank the editor for finding enough time to squeeze a trip to Osgiliath into the 726 minutes of the film.

Post by **deer of the dawn** » Tue Nov 01, 2016 9:21 am

DoctorGamgee wrote:Best Actor on the Cutting-room Floor.

Tom Bombadill couldn't be here this evening to accept his award, but would like to thank the editor for finding enough time to squeeze a trip to Osgiliath into the 726 minutes of the film.

Right? And we had to have that drinking game in there, too.

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Nov 01, 2016 4:04 pm

Best adapted Screenplay

"Um. Me did good? Oooh shiny statue thing. Me like."

Post by **Linna Heartbooger** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 2:54 pm

Award: Christian Satire

"Her dress is vivid red and deep shimmering orange.
Well, the fabric is like flames, but the style doesn't have the usual hotness we expect here at the Oscars.
Nope folks, this is basically Katniss Everdeen meets Disney Princess. (laughter)
I think there's a few anachronistic details yanked from something you might see at an SCA convention thrown in for good measure.
Let's talk about her hair...
<wah, wah wah wah wah, fade into voices like the teacher talking in Charlie Brown>"

I would like to apologize first to my family, then to my church.
You gave me tons of love and support, and this is what I did with it.

I would like to apologize to every Bible Study I've been a part of, to my pastor.
In fact, I'd like to apologize to every teacher I've ever had - teachers both of things sacred and of things *scare quotes fingers*"secular."*end of scare quotes*
I was so blessed by you all - by some of you in huge ways, and this is what I've done with it.

I'd like to apologize to everyone who's taken time to pray with me, FOR ME, encourage me, let me bounce ideas off them, or help me clean my house when it's gotten really bad.
All that energy from delighting in God because of the good things you've given me - well, this is the stream it's gotten diverted into.

As far as thanking people - thanks to vraith - uhh, that's vraith of the online forum KevinsWatch for starting the Bad Writing Contest, which really gave me my start writing things that are bad.
Thanks to everyone else who's rocked that contest with hilarious contributions! You guys keep it rollin'.
Thanks to Sorus - she's also from the internet - my writing buddy in trying to write Things That Are Not Bad.

Lastly, I am thankful for Flannery O'Connor, C.S. Lewis, and deer of the dawn - oh, she's from the internet, too - for leading the way in showing you can do Christian writing AND be hysterical.
Also thankful to Eve Tushnet for her Christian satire, and for letting the world know it's okay to be, in her words, "a poster child for a poster nobody wants on their wall."

Now for the part everyone expects, where I remember to thank the Lord Jesus for being my savior, and say He is the BEST EVER.
Except hasn't that become a cliche?
Everyone's heard that before!

So instead, this, which is more beautiful, and - strangely - less well-known:
"...the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, *yells*"This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.' "*end of yell*) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."
Halleluiah.
Come Lord Jesus!
Please make my work useless, because when You are here, we won't need catharsis anymore!
*bursts out in tears*

JIkj fjds j wrote:Award: Catering

I want to thank my Mum for showing me as kid how to do a good fry up, like egg'n'chips, egg'n'chips with beans, egg'n'chips with peas, or just plain ol chips'n'ketchup - with, or without, tea'n'bread. My Dad for showing me as

and tomato, cheese burger and bacon, bacon'n'eggs, bacon egg'n'chips, bacon egg'n'chips with beans, bacon egg'n'chips with peas, bacon on plain bread or baps, with or without, tea. A

me the finer points of pizza egg'n'chips, pizza egg'n'chips with beans, pizza egg'n'chips with peas, pizza egg'n'chips and egg'n'chips with bacon, tea and bread and butter.
Who would thought, eh. Thanks

BTW, this was awesome!

Post by **aTOMiC** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 3:29 pm

Linna Heartlistener wrote:Award: Christian Satire

"Her dress is vivid red and deep shimmering orange.
Well, the fabric is like flames, but the style doesn't have the usual hotness we expect here at the Oscars.
Nope folks, this is basically Katniss Everdeen meets Disney Princess. (laughter)
I think there's a few anachronistic details yanked from something you might see at an SCA convention thrown in for good measure.
Let's talk about her hair...
<wah, wah wah wah wah, fade into voices like the teacher talking in Charlie Brown>"

I would like to apologize first to my family, then to my church.
You gave me tons of love and support, and this is what I did with it.

I would like to apologize to every Bible Study I've been a part of, to my pastor.
In fact, I'd like to apologize to every teacher I've ever had - teachers both of things sacred and of things *scare quotes fingers*"secular."*end of scare quotes*
I was so blessed by you all - by some of you in huge ways, and this is what I've done with it.

I'd like to apologize to everyone who's taken time to pray with me, FOR ME, encourage me, let me bounce ideas off them, or help me clean my house when it's gotten really bad.
All that energy from delighting in God because of the good things you've given me - well, this is the stream it's gotten diverted into.

As far as thanking people - thanks to vraith - uhh, that's vraith of the online forum KevinsWatch for starting the Bad Writing Contest, which really gave me my start writing things that are bad.
Thanks to everyone else who's rocked that contest with hilarious contributions! You guys keep it rollin'.
Thanks to Sorus - she's also from the internet - my writing buddy in trying to write Things That Are Not Bad.

Lastly, I am thankful for Flannery O'Connor, C.S. Lewis, and deer of the dawn - oh, she's from the internet, too - for leading the way in showing you can do Christian writing AND be hysterical.
Also thankful to Eve Tushnet for her Christian satire, and for letting the world know it's okay to be, in her words, "a poster child for a poster nobody wants on their wall."

Now for the part everyone expects, where I remember to thank the Lord Jesus for being my savior, and say He is the BEST EVER.
Except hasn't that become a cliche?
Everyone's heard that before!

So instead, this, which is more beautiful, and - strangely - less well-known:
"...the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, *yells*"This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.' "*end of yell*) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."
Halleluiah.
Come Lord Jesus!
Please make my work useless, because when You are here, we won't need catharsis anymore!
*bursts out in tears*

OMG! That was awesome! :yourock:

I can't follow that. At least not for a while.

Post by **DoctorGamgee** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:14 am

Linna, that wins the internet today!!!

Brava!!!!

Post by **aTOMiC** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 1:18 pm

Award for Best sound effect in a documentary or non-fiction short film

"I knew the moment I began recording myself chewing ice that I'd captured something that would definitely enhance the enjoyment of a film. I didn't however know it would be used for a documentary about Ice Chewers. That was just a happy accident. I'd like to thank frozen water for without it none of this would be possible. I also like to thank...what? No YOU shut up!"

Post by **Cord Hurn** » Wed Nov 30, 2022 4:37 pm

Best lighting

"Thank you, Academy voters. My inspiration is to always have diamonds in the room to make the scenery sparkle up quite nicely, no matter the camera angle. Thank you so much."

Post by **sgt.null** » Mon Jul 10, 2023 11:41 pm

Best actor - Tom Pudding

thank you for letting me be myself, again

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