Corrupt a wish

[Sorus]

You have a good-tasting, edible donut. After finishing your tasty snack, you glance at the bag it came in and realize it was actually a dog treat.


I wish I could feel energetic and well-rested with under six hours of sleep.

[aTOMiC]

Ka-Blammy!!! You are now able to feel well-rested and energetic with under 6 hours of sleep but an unexpected side effect is that the 6 hours begin at arbitrary times during the day and you immediately fall asleep no matter what you are doing. After your 3rd car accident and while you are recuperating in the hospital you decide that you may have been better off waking up tired and lethargic.

I wish I could meet a well known celebrity which I never have.

[StevieG]

Ding ding! You meet a well-known celebrity who unfortunately is one of your favourites - unfortunate because, like most celebrities that you admire, they turn out to be even more of an arrogant, stuck up, dismissive, condescending, piece of crap than even YOU expected.

I wish my work was done for the week and I could take the rest of the week off.

[aTOMiC]

Whamo! Your work is done for the week and can take the rest of the week off because you've effectively worked yourself out of a job and the company has eliminated your position. Years later while wandering the streets in tattered, filthy clothes and looking for spare change in the gutter, you remember back to these days and wish things had turned out differently.

I wish all mankind became united in equal friendship and brotherhood for 20,000 years.

[deer of the dawn]

FAPP!!! 20,000 years later there is no one left-- all that peace led to unprecedented prosperity and everyone ate and drank and partied themselves to death.

I wish I was black. (didn't see that coming, did you!)

[aTOMiC]

Boom! You are now Black.
After all the time you spent being white it never seemed to work in your favor. Time and time again you were defeated no matter what you tried or how much time you spent studying the problems set before you. Now you truly believed that being Black would give you the change of position and turn of luck you had been looking for. However the very first game you played being Black you were checkmated after only six moves. Your opponent, who was usually black, did not seem to be affected by the change in game piece colors and played with their usual effectively tactful method. You finally come to the inescapable conclusion that you simply suck at playing chess and you decide to quit the game, permanently.

I wish I was a good chess player.

[Cheval]

You wish comes true:
You become a good chess player at last!
Not great, just good.
However, for some odd reason, you still cannot defeat
Deer Of The Dawn, no matter how hard you try.
Knowing this, you fall into despair and you just decide to follow your
nemesis' fate and quit playing chess permanently.

I wish my eyesight was a perfect 20/20

[aTOMiC]

Poof your eyesight is a perfect 20/20 however new advances in technology offers everyone else in the world, except you who opted for 20/20 vision, perfect Eagle-Vision!
In order to see what everyone else sees you end up wearing glasses anyway.


I wish there was some way to combine peanut butter and chocolate in a single candy.

[deer of the dawn]

FAP. You just got a Reese's. But you hate Reese's.

I wish the world was cleaner. I don't mind actual dirt, it's filth I hate.

[aTOMiC]

Ka blam! The world is free of filth but suddenly every person involved in politics around the world disappears but after all of the celebrations are over you are asked to solve the problem of running all of the nations of planet since you are responsible. You then declare yourself dictator of the human race because you feel you couldn't possibly do a worse job than what has been done before. In less than 24 hours you go from savior of the world to the most hated and reviled person ever to exist the very second the power grid fails and government checks don't arrive on time. You then decide to sell the Earth for a tidy profit and move to another galaxy but you discover that this new galaxy has even more filth than the Milky Way but now you can't go back.


I wish we could hold a new, world wide election and replace every politician on the planet with a free smart phone app that does a job 1,945 times better than what had ever been done before.

[deer of the dawn]

Dinngggg!!! EVeryone is downloading the new app, called Dominapp, which runs trade and politics according to an algorithm that ensures free markets and justice for all. Unfortunately, all apps have a designer, and Dominapp's unforeseen flaw is that the designer (one Prasad Kumarji from Benares) has built in a nice little cash flow for himself. Prasad now owns 12% of the world's wealth. He is more wealthy than Dominapp, and now rules the world. And despite being a pretty nice guy, He's a lousy Overlord.

I wish I had a pony.

[deer of the dawn]

Dinngggg!!! EVeryone is downloading the new app, called Dominapp, which runs trade and politics according to an algorithm that ensures free markets and justice for all. Unfortunately, all apps have a designer, and Dominapp's unforeseen flaw is that the designer (one Prasad Kumarji from Benares) has built in a nice little cash flow for himself. Prasad now owns 12% of the world's wealth. He is more wealthy than Dominapp, and now rules the world. And despite being a pretty nice guy, He's a lousy Overlord.

I wish I had a pony.

[aTOMiC]

You have a pony!

You name him Skiddles. However you have no means to take care of the animal in any way, shape, matter or form. The wee horse become anemic in only a week after you try valiantly to feet it candy and sugar cereals. Finally, with no other options available, you decide to donate the pony to a local orphanage that is also a horse farm and Skiddles lives happily ever after once he is released from your custody.

I wish there were no Griffins present in the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant and in their place Stephen Donaldson had created a brand new creature with many of the same threatening aspects of a Griffin but was essentially a completely original creation.

[Sorus]

Stephen R. Donaldson created a brand new creature with many of the same threatening aspects of a Griffin but was essentially a completely original creation. The Griffin Fanciers' Association bans the Chrons, and their influence is such that publishers are afraid to reprint the books.


I wish I could get away from the city for a few days.

[aTOMiC]

Blamo! You get in a car and leave the city with the intention of only being away for a few days but once you leave you realize the city wasn't a city at all, it was a crutch and the further you got away the more you decided that living on a lighted stage approaches the unreal for those who think and feel, in touch with some reality beyond the gilded cage and you never return...until you remember you left your cats behind and rush back in a mad frenzy.


I wish I could play drums like Neil, bass like Geddy and guitar like Alex but be 100% original.

[deer of the dawn]

K THEN. You can now play drums like Neil, bass like Geddy and guitar like Alex but be 100% original, because in the process of wish fulfillment it was necessary to rewind time and erase Neil, Geddy, and Alex. Therefore, you have no band and it's an awful lot of work to play drums, bass and guitar at the same time and besides the whole one-man-band thing is over.

I wish guitar amps had a decent bass response.

[aTOMiC]

Kblewy! All guitar amps now have terrific bass response which leads to an industry wide shut down of all existing bass amp production due to the perception that bass amps are redundant. This leads to existing bass amps to be highly sought after by purist bass players and the prices skyrocket which amazingly leads to world wide inflation that drives all the developed nations of the world into bankruptcy which in turn makes the tiny island nation of Popacopoco the richest and therefore most awesome country on the planet.

I wish reading and learning was as easy as taking a pill and a full 4 year college degree could be absorbed during the course of a single meal.

[Sorus]

Reading and learning is as easy as taking a pill and a full 4 year college degree can be absorbed during the course of a single meal. Doses start at five million dollars each. Bootleg pills are a bit cheaper, but they tend to have side effects. (Such as learning Sanskrit but forgetting English.)


I wish more of my favorite bands would tour locally.

[aTOMiC]

More of my favorite bands tour locally but they can't afford to use their own equipment for small town venues so they borrow local bands PA, drums, guitars, bass and keyboards and end up sounding like a garage band which diminishes them in your eyes.


I wish the stars were closer.

[Linna Heartbooger]

I was reading through these cause I'm way behind on Corrupt-a-Wish, and I saw this:

You have a pony!

You name him Skiddles...

Oh my goodness!
JINX!
Looks like Deer would have named her pony almost the same thing I did!

My Shetland mare had three foals.
The names I gave them, were:
Cupcake, Spunky, and Skittles!


Anyway, the stars are closer... it's like the proverbial "so close I can practically touch them."
Unfortunately, they keep getting closer at an astonishing rate until their gravity starts sucking our solar system towards them, the oceans boil and overflow and everyone dies.

I wish I'd spent more time talking to friends and less time worrying about things I'm not doing (i.e. working on taxes!) over the last week!