But Davies is stressed by other factors in his situation, as well. He doesn't have much memory that has not been replicated from his mother Morn, his memory abruptly ends at the point when his mother encountered heavy g on Starmaster, he's never met the man his body genetically resembles, and he doesn't understand why it was necessary for Morn to have the Amnion force-grow his body and imprint her memories on his mind. Davies doesn't know why all this stress hasn't driven him mad, already.
Sweating inside the cramped pod, Davies reviews what he has been told by Morn and Nick about himself, his mother, and his father. He remembers being told by Morn that he doesn't have her gap-sickness, and he recalls that Nick hates him because Morn lied about his being Nick's son. Davies then remembers what Nick has told him about his parents, that his father is an incarcerated butcher who forced a zone implant upon his mother to control her, and that his mother is a zone implant junkie who only wanted to give birth to Davies because the sickbay computer would have detected her zone implant if she'd have tried for an abortion.
But Davies is steadied by seeing the lies in Nick's claims about his mother, because she could have used her police training to erase the sickbay log, because she tried to help him escape from the Amnion and understand his situation, and because her statement of purpose to not betray humanity is confirmed by her memories within him. Soon he stops worrying about who he is, and resumes worrying about where he's going, wishing he could maneuver way from the Amnion ship. There must be a way to take control of the pod, he feels, but he can't think of how to do it.
We have been told, in the previous Gap book Forbidden Knowledge, that Morn managed to change the pod's programming in terms of its speed and trajectory away from the Amnion ship and towards Thanatos Minor, but Davies is at first unsure who is responsible. But he considers that it is Nick's intentions that are being foiled, so it must be his mother that is behind the pod's course change. His mother seems to him much like a miracle-worker overcoming the odds, and he feels hope that he has inherited that ability. And this keeps him sane.If he'd known his father, he might have recognized Angus Thermopyle's instinctive reaction to futility and fear.
But he hadn't known his father. He couldn't remember anything that might help him as the pod cut in thrust--acceleration, not braking--and began to veer away from Tranquil Hegemony. He could only stare at the screens with his heart hammering in his throat and sweat streaming off his forehead, and wonder who was being betrayed now.
If Captain's Fancy and Tranquil Hegemony were talking to each other--shouting at each other?--he didn't hear it: the pod's receivers were tuned to the wrong frequencies or the messages were tight-beamed. But he saw his course shift away from the Amnion ship; felt lateral thrust as well as acceleration until his new trajectory stabilized and thrust cut out.
Then the screens showed him that he was now running straight for the unreadable stone of Thanatos Minor.
When Tranquil Hegemony didn't fire on him, he knew he'd been granted a temporary reprieve.
In response his heart started beating even harder, and sweat ran into his eyes like oil.
At his present velocity, a landing on Thanatos Minor would crush him to undifferentiated pulp--if it didn't consume him in a fireball first. Precisely for that reason, Thanatos Minor would blast him out of space before he hit, to avoid being damaged by the impact. There was nothing he could do about it.
Nevertheless he was out of Tranquil Hegemony's reach, at least for the time being. Any death was preferable to the one Nick Succorso had intended for him. And according to the screens, he now had nearly six more hours to live.