(Please picture me superciliously raising my eyebrows here in long-suffering and exquisitely patronising fashion. It'll help.)
First off, I note that in addition to your endemic racism, you clearly suffer from innate religionism too. "Jesus"??? How typical... why not Allah? Or Buddha? Shiva? Dagda? Gitche Manitou? Quetzalcoatl? How thoughtlessly theologically supremacist and culturally fascist of you.
And as for your desperate attempt to prove your claim not to be xenophobic by saying "But looky! I have lots of foreign friends!" and then listing out a series of drooling reprobates, all of whom are intellectually challenged to one degree or other and none of whom you'd even cross the road to urinate upon if they were on fire...
Sorry, but that just goes to prove my point conclusively. You are hopelessly riddled with xenophobia.
Caring explanatory note for Skyweir: Sky dear, "xenophobia" does not mean that StevieG has an innate fear of well-muscled and buxom females of any warrior princess persuasion... though frankly, given that he has clearly and repeatedly evidenced himself to be such a limp-spirited milquetoast, I would not be at all surprised if he did.
And as for your accusation that I have used the epithets "Zee" and "ass"... why, absolutely I have - and quite deliberately so.
You seem to have forgotten, Stevie, that I am a linguist. This bestows upon me the innate ability to converse with others in their own tongue, in order to be more clearly understood. As a linguist, I am entirely au fait with and fluent in those more retarded stepchildren of the Queen's English, namely American and Australian (or Strine, as I believe its official nomenclature is).
So those are the languages in which I helpfully choose to converse, when interacting with those from more benighted geographies. Doing so is a mark of my extremely charitable nature.
Turning down the brightness is only fair and caring, surely? To evidence this, I would refer you to my not infrequent Tank dialogues with Skyweir. You may have noted that with her, I am always careful not to use words with more than two syllables, for fear of overloading her capacity and causing her some sort of conniption fit. That's how caring and empathic I invariably am.
Though to be fair, Skyweir is a particularly difficult and fragile case with many concurrent issues. You may have wept at her recent, valiant and yet tragic efforts to participate in the "Political haiku" Tank thread. Given that she neither knows what a syllable is, nor can reliably count up to 5 - let alone 7 - means that she was doomed to inevitable failure from the very get-go.
On the subject of Sky, I find it rather mean-spirited of you to refer to so many of her disabilities so publicly. Yes, she was truly born under a cursed star... Scottish by birth and she then makes the baffling decision to emigrate to Australia? Australia, a nation even more benighted than most... where the only signs of any live culture are solely to be found in the yoghurt aisle of one's local supermarket.
So shame on you, Stevie, for deriding the unfortunate so perfunctorily and with such insouciance. To make matters worse (if such were even possible - and please note the elegant use of the subjunctive form there), did you not even know that Skyweir also suffers from the most debilitating condition of them all? Yes, she has let it slip before now that, in a piece of the bitterest cosmic irony, she's also a ginger.
We should actually be looking to set up some sort of #JustGiving support fundraising for her, rather than resorting to studied mocking of the afflicted, as you have lamentably done. Therefore the sole appropriate response for me here, having been confronted with your irredeemable callousness is to insert a "shocked face" emoji, so...

I will grudgingly admit to being mildly impressed by your reference to the river Wey, which runs no more than 200 yards from where I type. Although this is no doubt the result of some frenetic and frankly stalker-esque Google searching, rather than stemming from any inherent or instilled knowledge.
Oh and...
RACIST!