LORD FOUL'S ASH - (Unlimited Crossover Madness)

[aTOMiC]

LORD FOUL'S ASH

A fan fiction written by Tom Cummins
Based on characters created by Stephen R. Donaldson
and Sam Raimi
Additional rights held by others.
Not intended for publication or mass consumption.



A Freaking Weird Beginning.

Something drew me to that farm. I didn’t understand at the time but I also didn’t let being ignorant stop me. I marched up the driveway like I owned the place. There was a small, white house at the end of the road that looked like it was built to be torn down, but some irritating voice in the back of my skull kept telling me to ignore the obvious and head into the woods. I thought the voice was stupid so I rapped on the front door anyway. There was no answer so I figured maybe the voice had a point. Before I had gotten very far into the trees I saw the little hut. The sight of it made my head ache like when you suck a milkshake too fast. I noticed the door was open so I moved on in. I found some jerk sitting at a desk in front of a typewriter. He had been typing away like a machine gun until he heard me step into the room. He looked pretty pissed when he got a look at me. He noticed the chainsaw at the end of my wrist and the S-MART special I had strapped to my back and then got an odd look on his thin face. He said something to me that I didn’t quite get at the time. Actually he kind of said it past me like he was talking to someone hiding in the ceiling.
“Fine, Mhoram. Why don’t you take him instead? He looks like he’d get off on your crazy power trip.”
Before I could give the guy what for, he jumped up and sucker punched me in the jaw. I went down like a hamper full dirty laundry. I expected to eat floor but instead I seemed to fall into a black nothing that I can’t explain to this day. I’m used to this kind of crap but this time things felt different. I had a bad feeling my eggs were about to be scrambled in a way that ain’t all that fun. My name is Ash and thanks to that butthead, I was about to find myself up to my nostrils in some pretty weird crap.

[matrixman]

It's...it's Ash! Oh man, this is gonna be a ride. Let me get the popcorn ready.

[Revan]

This rules.

[aTOMiC]

Thank you. I am but your humble servant.

[Revan]

Then lick the sh*t off my boot peon *Sticks out boot*

[aTOMiC]

I bet you aren't even wearing boots.
Sorry, Bub. That isn't in the job description.

I look forward to the eventual showdown between Ash and Lord Foul. Somebody is going to get their butt kicked.

[Revan]

I bet you aren't even wearing boots.
Sorry, Bub. That isn't in the job description.

I look forward to the eventual showdown between Ash and Lord Foul. Somebody is going to get their butt kicked.

No... I'm not wearing boots... hehe...

You know I was kidding TOM... don't you?