What would YOU do to YOUR ex in your book? ;-)

[Creator]

OK ... you're writing a book ... a character is going to be an ex - (substitute wife / husband / girfriend / boyfriend).

YOU, the author, have an ex - (substitute wife / husband / girfriend / boyfriend).

How tempting ... ... what do YOU do to YOUR fictional ex?!

[danlo]

I'd have to hire some Sandgorgons to take the BFH to Gibbon and the Clave (cool name for a band, btw... ) but I don't know if I'd recommend tossing her in the Banefire as she def had a piece of the Illearth Stone in her...so who knows what enhanced horror would emerge!? (suddenly feels odd allegience with Sam Kinison AH AHHHHHHHHH!!!! )

[duchess of malfi]

I would let the ex be happy and healthy and go on and move on and have a great life.

And then I would make sure to have the best revenge in moving on myself and having a much happier life without that person.

[SoulQuest1970]

I wouldn't have to do anything, because he punishes himself sufficiently. Hmmm... where have I heard that line before? lol He actually CALLED last night to talk to the kids! Wow... first time in 4 months! My ex got over 200lbs (he is only 5'4"), has 3 chins, no neck (a friend commented he looks like a gerbil storing up food for the winter), a 4 inch long ponytail (his sister says he looks like the comic guy from the Simpsons... he does actually) and has serious health problems because he refuses to drink water (drinks ONLY coke) and refuses to eat right. Oh, yeah and he is suicidal most of the time.

[Myste]

The dirty rat ex-bf would find what he love and happiness with the perfect woman, and then because she is perfect she will know that he's a dirty rat and treat him accordingly, i.e., call the exterminator, who will knock on the apt. door, say "You have a rat problem, lady?" and she will laugh and point at the ex and say, "Yes, there he is. I want it taken care of before lunch." And it will be.

[[Syl]]

Make the plot match that point in time of my life enough to be recognizable and then completely leave her out of the story.

[aliantha]

Don't need to write it. Real life is taking care of him soooooo much more efficiently than I could do it in print.

[Zahir]

I'm kinda in the process of doing exactly that....

She breaks someone's heart, who learns a lot from the experience, and then she frankly becomes utterly dependent on someone else (for her, a fate close to Worse Than Death).

[fightingmyinstincts]

Oh, I'd just write what his life would have been like had I never convinced HIS ex to stop stalking him...that oughta be punishment enough.

[Metal-Demon]

My ex-girlfriend (from many years back) doesn't deserve her likeness to be immortalized in print. I have too much respect for the world of literature ...

[CovenantJr]

Am I the only one who has amicable breakups?

[Infelice]

Nope

[SoulQuest1970]

Am I the only one who has amicable breakups?

Mine didn't start out amicable. How can a husband leaving a pregnant wife with 2 little girls do it in an amicable way? He knew we were having a son and this terrified him because all of the men in his family turned out... well, like him. After a few months, though I realized why he left and we were so much better off. It took my oldest child longer to see it, but now she sees it. He is a writer (so am I, but not much time with 3 little ones) and was doing this rant... I mean essay... on school shootings, etc. He came across a similarity between himself and those shooters... that other people were not real to them. For a while he knew what was wrong and he saw how he was affecting us as a family (ie curling up in the fetal position and not working). I also do not beleive in divorce so he knew he would have to just leave and force a divorce. I know he stays away because he is afriad of hurting the kids more by bring around. Now it is quite amicable. Last year when he lived in our area he came over for Thanksgiving and Christmas with my whole family (well, not my brothers because one lived in CO and the other feels like murdering him) and my dad was able to relax (decided to put his feelings aside for my kids' sakes) and things went great. He can call me up anytime and we chat like old times. He is a friend and like a brother. I still care about him, but don't love him like a spouse. Actually, I am not sure I ever did love him right. I think I always loved him like a brother and best friend. I know that he has serious problems. My biggest concern is that he may commit suicide and that will seriously affect the kids. He is also very irresponsible. That has never changed is most likely never will.

[Creator]

Am I the only one who has amicable breakups?

Mine didn't start out amicable. How can a husband leaving a pregnant wife with 2 little girls do it in an amicable way? He knew we were having a son and this terrified him because all of the men in his family turned out... well, like him. After a few months, though I realized why he left and we were so much better off. It took my oldest child longer to see it, but now she sees it. He is a writer (so am I, but not much time with 3 little ones) and was doing this rant... I mean essay... on school shootings, etc. He came across a similarity between himself and those shooters... that other people were not real to them. For a while he knew what was wrong and he saw how he was affecting us as a family (ie curling up in the fetal position and not working). I also do not beleive in divorce so he knew he would have to just leave and force a divorce. I know he stays away because he is afriad of hurting the kids more by bring around. Now it is quite amicable. Last year when he lived in our area he came over for Thanksgiving and Christmas with my whole family (well, not my brothers because one lived in CO and the other feels like murdering him) and my dad was able to relax (decided to put his feelings aside for my kids' sakes) and things went great. He can call me up anytime and we chat like old times. He is a friend and like a brother. I still care about him, but don't love him like a spouse. Actually, I am not sure I ever did love him right. I think I always loved him like a brother and best friend. I know that he has serious problems. My biggest concern is that he may commit suicide and that will seriously affect the kids. He is also very irresponsible. That has never changed is most likely never will.

Sorry for your troubles and congratulations on the great way you're handling it. Perhaps he'll do well if you put him in one of your stories now ! Merry Christmas to you and your three children!!

[gully fourmyle]

I did write a book and I did kill someone off in it. Not my ex-wife, the teacher I had when I was 10 years old. He and I didn't get along and I hated him with a passion. When I wrote my book I arranged a gruesome death for him. He was crushed slowly by a gravel truck. A couple of years later, I learned he'd died of a heart attack three weeks after the completion of my book. Everyone who has read my book is very polite to me these days...

[Loredoctor]

I did write a book and I did kill someone off in it. Not my ex-wife, the teacher I had when I was 10 years old. He and I didn't get along and I hated him with a passion. When I wrote my book I arranged a gruesome death for him. He was crushed slowly by a gravel truck. A couple of years later, I learned he'd died of a heart attack three weeks after the completion of my book. Everyone who has read my book is very polite to me these days...

Could you write a novel in which the following people get eaten alive by Crocadiles:

Ben Afflek
George Lucas
Darth Revan

[lurch]

...A few minutes before she died of olde age,,she would realize that her whole life was a wasted experience, devoid of any real humanity, lasting relationships, and love. That would happen in the beginning ,,of a flashback story, done in satire.......MEL

[Creator]

I did write a book and I did kill someone off in it. Not my ex-wife, the teacher I had when I was 10 years old. He and I didn't get along and I hated him with a passion. When I wrote my book I arranged a gruesome death for him. He was crushed slowly by a gravel truck. A couple of years later, I learned he'd died of a heart attack three weeks after the completion of my book. Everyone who has read my book is very polite to me these days...

Could you write a novel in which the following people get eaten alive by Crocadiles:

Ben Afflek
George Lucas
Darth Revan

Wait on George Lucas until AFTER Star Wars III - One last opportunity to redeem himself. If not ... send him to the crocs!!!

[onewyteduck]

I did write a book and I did kill someone off in it. Not my ex-wife, the teacher I had when I was 10 years old. He and I didn't get along and I hated him with a passion. When I wrote my book I arranged a gruesome death for him. He was crushed slowly by a gravel truck. A couple of years later, I learned he'd died of a heart attack three weeks after the completion of my book. Everyone who has read my book is very polite to me these days...

Could you write a novel in which the following people get eaten alive by Crocadiles:

Ben Afflek
George Lucas
Darth Revan

Ben Affleck? Isn't that cruelty to animals? Shame on you! Poor Crocs.

[onewyteduck]

My ex was that guy in town no body else wanted to mess with. State Golden Glove champ, light heavy-weight (I think that's how it's phrased?)

I'd have him get his ass kicked by some 90 pound weakling!