Here's a simple poem, untitled

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

There's a person I see when I look in the mirror
Staring through the glass darkly, always so darkly,
always at me.
There's a voice that he uses
When he tells me I'm no good
And there's nothing around that's worth working for.
He tells me to go back,
to the couch, to the drugs
and to forget everything that I've gained.
And sometimes that voice will reduce to a whisper
And keeps talking to me when I look away
sometimes for days.

But we've all worked to hard to get to be who we are
And you can never go back, not even if you want to
Everything you've left is lost and behind you,
And all of the people that you used to think knew you
Have all just forgot.
So you're left with two decisions,
Death or life without misgivings,
And every night you fall asleep,
And wake up still alive.
For myself, that's enough to count as solid evidence
That I keep feel like trying, that I keep from dying,
That I still have hope, and I still go on
Until I am gone.


That's a poem I just wrote, I don't think it's all that special, but I figured I'd post it. I kind of sing it to myself when I read it, so it loses it's rythm in the translation. And it has a cheesy ending. Bleh. :)
Oh well, there ya go. Oh, it's not very complex either.

[ChoChiyo]

This is such a powerful poem. You have my pm with further impressions.

It gives me chills.

[CovenantJr]

I like it. I'm not much for poetry in general, very little appeals to me. But I like this one; something about the simplicity combined with a subject that resonates with me in some way. Thanks for sharing.

[Loredoctor]

I agree with covenant.

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

Well, *I* disagree with both of you! I think the simplicity, combined with the melodrama, make it a pretty pisspoor attempt, and I'll be trying to do better today while I'm at work :p

[Loredoctor]

Hmmm, poetry can be simplistic.

[duchess of malfi]

Sometimes saying something simply can add quite a bit of power to the words.

[Cate]

Jem, I hear that voice, and see that shape, that awful shape that hovers, over in the dark corner, waiting for its chance to take me down.
I relate to your words, which echo my own,
telling myself that I am all alone and not a soul on earth cares, while reaching still even in total darkness for someone, anyone to give one tiny spark of hope to which I can quickly hitch my lifeline once again.
I sense as well that true strength of character that
is the foundation of the LIFE that still and always will stand firmly in your center, and which will guide you when you fear that all may be truly lost at last.
The Phoenix rises yet again, and spreading its mighty wings, finds new paths, new horizons, as yet untouched and unseen by the vulture's eyes.
Soar, my friend!

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

Tell me the true nature of self destruction.
How does one become his own worst enemy?
And how do you defeat yourself without being defeated?

[Cate]

Perhaps the true nature of "self-destruction" is paradoxical. While you are striving to destroy the evil or undesireable, unlovely, and unwanted traits of "self", you don't want to annihilate the Self, the real you that is the essense and core of being. Some would argue that this core self cannot be destroyed, and I believe that is true. It is what is "good" in the deepest center and seeks good in others. So perhaps the True (Truth) nature of self destruction is to take off the outer illusion or the corrupt, destructive, dying shell, and reveal the living, incorruptible, indestructible, lovely and loveable, beautiful and glorious thing, and in so- doing cause a chain reaction of all creation.

One is one's own worst enemy by refusing to let the constructive self-destruction work its work, or hindering it, making it take longer than it has to. This is usually because one doesn't see clearly yet the work that is being done. When one's eyes are opened to this Truth, one becomes one's own best friend.

You defeat yourself when, as stated above, you fight against the work being done in you to bring out the perfect finished masterpiece of your true self. Once again, you must remember that your true SELF is not the bad things you have done or thought or desired. The trut SELF is that core of goodness in the deepest depths. This is why old philosphers and prophets and sages, and many others have spoken of "going within", and without talking religion, just thinking and philosophizing, and seeking here, .....we have to shut out ALL the voices and go within on our own.
All the voices around us in every day life, noises, and also all the voices from childhood to now, with their demands, instructions, threats, rules, regulations and what have you. Everything must be shut out in order to hear the True voice within. --No Religion intended here at all-- Just learn to LISTEN. It may begin instantly. It may take some time. But it is there.
YOU are ALIVE! YOU are part of the ALL. You are in there and YOU will emerge more and more as the corruptible falls away under the workmanship of what we call "self-destruction". Paradox is hard to describe in human words. So the more you go within and LISTEN, the more you KNOW yourself and the more you want to know. You will learn that there IS knowledge worth seeking.............and that in defeating self--ish-ness, the real self is given new life.
Thank you for making me dig that out of my own self. I needed that.

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

But how did it begin? How did it begin?
Surely this must be learned, surely as a baby I was not born with the seed of self hatred, this fear that has defined my life.

[Cate]

You were "born" with the "seed" of good, and born INTO a world where evil seeds were the norm, all around, and incorporated into your earthly heritage, even your very physical make-up. A sort of "clothing" as it were.
The fear seems to define because it makes the edges so sharp and terrifying. Within is the love that generates the life that keeps pressing forward.
Even when you have given up again and again, wondering why you woke up today?
The self hatred must be examined and exposed for what it really is. A longing for good and right and what is already there---the REAL.
You are not the sum total of your deeds. YOU are the being within that yearns toward the shining goal of perfection, who despises the evil clothing of deeds done and the dungeon of lost hope. Who has the strength of a million suns once it is unleashed.
Get thee within! Champion the shivering, hurting self that has been flogged to the brink of oblivion.
Self hatred is itself the enemy! Fear is its weapon of choice. Summon Love from deep within. It is the Chief of Staff, the War Mark, The weapon of mass destruction of the enemy. (Two-edged sword?) Fear is merely and literally swallowed up by it. Love of LIFE and all that is good will take the first strike. Love of the true self will nurture and teach as you take new steps into LIFE.
From there you must LISTEN well, and take instruction from its source. This is a battle which MUST be won, and the territory must be guarded with all diligence.
That's it then. We must be about the business of surviving. And not only surviving, but begetting more like ourselves. Yes, that's it!
For it is the nature of love to beget.

Awake thou that sleepest. Arise and shine! For thy light has come!
Throw off that stinking cloak of deprivation, and LIVE! LIVE, I say!

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

Love is a two edged sword, and a song from hell.
There is nothing that has ever been that has matched love as a narcotic.
Some of us treat love like a drug, and will find anyone we can to get our fix.

Of course, you don't have to worry about that when you live with someone you love...but take that person away... and then you start to see the withdrawal.
Not only the good feel self destructive. In fact, the evil seem to feel it even more harshly, for they destroy themselves as they destroy others.

[ChoChiyo]

Not only the good feel self destructive. In fact, the evil seem to feel it even more harshly, for they destroy themselves as they destroy others.

Very profound, Jem. Like a light in a dark room, this statement makes certain things make sense.

[Cate]

Are you saying or implying then that you feel you are totally and inherantly evil? Have you tested this theory to see if you are totally destructive? Do you have a deathwish.............or a secret lifewish?
You spoke of one aspect of love, which has obviously wounded your soul deeply, but that is only one part of love's character. It is an entity which once infused into the soul, becomes one with us and cannot be alone, because it is love's nature to give. Love of LIFE makes you reach still yet, hope once more, seek and desire that which concerns your emotional and intellectual well-being, as well as the physical.

I see you haven't destroyed yourself yet. Is that because you don't really want to? Or because it is not within your power?
There is a strength within you that you become aware of only when you have fallen through the bottom and realize there is no where to stand. You must FLY! If you didn't have the capability, you wouldn't be in the circumstances. So Fly, my friend. Yes, those are wings in your mind's eye and they are powerful! Let's up and away! I'm right beside you.