Time to fix the Elohim

[Han-shan]

I don't like the way the Elohim have changed over the eons. All know they walk with arrogance and indifference, and none can guess where their path will lead them. Or the Earth.

And so, I'm going to attempt to change things. As you can see, I am currently in Elemesnedene, which is surely the best place to attempt changes to the Elohim. I will be using the caesure I have... appropriated... to get around time. I also have Thomas Covenant's pocketknife, because the Elohim, you will not be surprised to learn, are trying to prevent me at every turn, and no other weapon can hold them off as well.

My allies in this are: my long-time friend, Agdy the Unfettered; Yggdrasil, the Ranyhyn who long ago chose to honor me; and a renegade Elohim, who, for obvious reasons, does not want to be known at this point.

And, since huge levels of energy are being manipulated quite often, I have a pair of Sunbaneglasses. Actually, they might be called the pair of Sunbaneglasses, because they were worn by Elton John in concert, when he was in the duck suit.

Wish me luck, Watchers! I go to save us all!

[matrixman]

Dangerous mission you've embarked upon, Han-shan. Best of luck to you!

[The Laughing Man]

I got the FIRST pocketknife! hahahaha!

[Caer Bombadil]

You'll need a powerful Staff for a venture like this.

I would suggest you seek out the next-to-final spawn of the ur-viles who was made just before Vain, namely YoureSo. He probably thinks we're talking about him. *

Have him catch Chant. When he does, you can give them both a great big'ol hug, with Covenant's frogsticker handy for the catalyst. If they don't form a Staff of Law, at least they'll form a Staff of Shut-Up-Chant, which would be a signal improvement right there.

Good luck in your quest!

* Carly Simon is not rolling in her grave over this, only because she isn't dead.

[Sunbaneglasses]

'Fix' and 'pocket knife'?Just how do you intend to fix them?

[Han-shan]

The pocket knife is not part of the fixing, it is to protect myself from them while I'm going about the process of fixing.

As for the process itself, I don't have any plan at all yet. So far, I am merely studying the problem. Travelling forward and backward in time, looking for signs of when and why the trouble may have started.

[High Lord Tolkien]

If you have the need please feel free to summon my Sandgorgon for your personal use.

His name is "Mitch".
He's an 810 year old Southern Bhrathairain male Sandgorgon with a fine pedigree and has papers to prove it.
He does have a small case of hip dysplasia though.
So he might not get to you as quick as a younger gorgon might.
But he knows the Elohim well.
To well.
Seems like one of those "female" Elohim once thought it would be funny to live the life of a Sandgorgon.
And she broke old Mitch's heart (or equivalent).
And he's looking for some payback, so he'll serve you well.
Good luck.

[The Somberlain]

The pocket knife is not part of the fixing, it is to protect myself from them while I'm going about the process of fixing.

As for the process itself, I don't have any plan at all yet. So far, I am merely studying the problem. Travelling forward and backward in time, looking for signs of when and why the trouble may have started.

Perhaps you might consider investing in a Bloodguard to ensure that you don't cause any serious damage to the Arch Of Time?

Only 30,000 WGDs from the Watch Shop. They're selling fast!

[The Somberlain]

If you have the need please feel free to summon my Sandgorgon for your personal use.

His name is "Mitch".
He's an 810 year old Southern Bhrathairain male Sandgorgon with a fine pedigree and has papers to prove it.
He does have a small case of hip dysplasia though.
So he might not get to you as quick as a younger gorgon might.
But he knows the Elohim well.
To well.
Seems like one of those "female" Elohim once thought it would be funny to live the life of a Sandgorgon.
And she broke old Mitch's heart (or equivalent).
And he's looking for some payback, so he'll serve you well.
Good luck.

Can a Sandgorgon be tamed with a pocketknife? Would he not merely be killed on the spot if M-I-T-C-H were summoned?

[High Lord Tolkien]

If you have the need please feel free to summon my Sandgorgon for your personal use.

His name is "Mitch".
He's an 810 year old Southern Bhrathairain male Sandgorgon with a fine pedigree and has papers to prove it.
He does have a small case of hip dysplasia though.
So he might not get to you as quick as a younger gorgon might.
But he knows the Elohim well.
To well.
Seems like one of those "female" Elohim once thought it would be funny to live the life of a Sandgorgon.
And she broke old Mitch's heart (or equivalent).
And he's looking for some payback, so he'll serve you well.
Good luck.

Can a Sandgorgon be tamed with a pocketknife? Would he not merely be killed on the spot if M-I-T-C-H were summoned?

Would who be killed?
Not Han-shan, a Sandgorgon freely given is would be as true to him as he has been to me.
Nom has broken the old "kill the summoner" Sandgorgon law centuries ago.
But if you meant that the Elohim would quickly kill Mitch?
Well let me tell you, he learned a few Elohim secrets (if you know what I mean [wink-wink]).

[The Somberlain]

Oops. I was living four millennia in the past and assumed that Mitch would be after Han-shan's blood.

[Sunbaneglasses]

Spay and neuter?That would certainly "fix" them.

[Han-shan]

Mitch might fit the bill very nicely! Hig is among my circle of friends, and I hadn't considered asking any Sandgorgon other than him for help. But since Mitch has a personal history with the Elohim, I suspect his attention span on the matter would be greater. Without strong motivation, Sandgorgons tend to break whatever is nearby, then wander off to find something else to break. My thanks, High Lord Tolkien.