wow .. thats way cool information!!
that would be cool if it is right
ok dont make me start quoting LoB
dont
ok ok .. i'm gonna have too
what about Mandy?? you didnt like Mandy? and Dennis? and the Roman
MANDY: ... So, you're astrologers, are you? Well, what is he then?
WISE MAN #2: Hmm?
MANDY: What star sign is he?
WISE MAN #2: Uh, Capricorn.
MANDY: Uhh, Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
WISE MAN #2: Ooh, but... he is the son of God, our Messiah.
WISE MAN #1: King of the Jews.
MANDY: And that's Capricorn, is it?
WISE MAN #2: Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.
MANDY: Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.' [sniff]
WISE MAN #1: By what name are you calling him?
[holy music]
MANDY: Uh, 'Brian'.
WISE MEN: We worship you, O Brian, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Brian, and to the Lord, our Father. Amen.
MANDY: Do you do a lot of this, then?
WISE MAN #2: What?
MANDY: This praising.
WISE MAN #2: No, no. No, no.
MANDY: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about
the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.
the wise men take their leave ..
BABY BRIAN: [starts crying]
MANDY: Shut up.
[smack]
blessed are the cheese makers has got to be one of my fav parts!!
JESUS CHRIST: How blest are those who know that He's a god. How blest are the sorrowful. They shall find consolation. How blest are those of
gentle spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession. How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right prevail.
RANDOM: [cough cough]
JESUS: They shall be satisfied. How blest are those whose hearts are pure. They shall see God...
MANDY: Speak up!
MAN: Shh.
BRIAN: Quiet, Mum.
JESUS: How blest are those of gentle...
MANDY: Well, I can't hear a thing.
JESUS: ...spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession.
MANDY: Let's go t' the stoning.
JESUS: How blest are those...
MR. BIG NOSE: Shh.
JESUS: ...who hunger and thirst...
BRIAN: You can go to a stoning any time.
JESUS: ...to see right...
MANDY: Oh, come on, Brian.
JESUS: ...prevail.
MR. BIG NOSE: Will you be quiet?!
JESUS: How blest are they who have suffered much...
MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't pick your nose.
MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't picking my nose. I was scratching.
MRS. BIG NOSE: You was picking it, while you was talking to that lady.
MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't!
MRS. BIG NOSE: Leave it alone. Give it a rest.
MR. CHEEKY: Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's saying.
MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you 'do you mind' me. I was talking to my husband.
MR. CHEEKY: Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can't hear a bloody thing.
MR. BIG NOSE: Don't you swear at my wife.
MR. CHEEKY: I was only asking her to shut up, so I can hear what he's saying, Big Nose.
MRS. BIG NOSE: Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'!
MR. CHEEKY: Well, he has got a big nose.
GREGORY: Could you be quiet, please?
JESUS: They shall have the earth...
GREGORY: What was that?
JESUS: ...for their possession. How blest are those...
MR. CHEEKY: I don't know. I was too busy talking to Big Nose.
JESUS: ...who hunger and thirst to see...
MAN #1: I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'
JESUS: ...right prevail.
MRS. GREGORY: Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?
GREGORY: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
MR. CHEEKY: See? If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Big Nose.
JESUS: How blest are those who...
MR. BIG NOSE: Hey. Say that once more; I'll smash your bloody face in.
MRS. GREGORY: Ohh.
MR. CHEEKY: Better keep listening. Might be a bit about 'Blessed are the big noses.'
BRIAN: Oh, lay off him.
MR. CHEEKY: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Conkface. Where are you two from? Nose City?
MR. BIG NOSE: One more time, mate; I'll take you to the fuckin' cleaners!
MRS. BIG NOSE: Language!
JESUS: ...hunger and thirst to see...
MRS. BIG NOSE: And don't pick your nose.
JESUS: ...right prevail.
MR. BIG NOSE: I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was going to thump him!
MAN #2: You hear that? Blessed are the Greek.
GREGORY: The Greek?
MAN #2: Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.
GREGORY: Did anyone catch his name?
MRS. BIG NOSE: You're not going to thump anybody.
MR. BIG NOSE: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again.
MR. CHEEKY: Oh, shut up, Big Nose.
MR. BIG NOSE: Ah! All right. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard--
MRS. BIG NOSE: Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.
MR. CHEEKY: Listen. I'm only telling the truth. You have got a very big nose.
MR. BIG NOSE: Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I've finished with you!
MAN #1 and MAN #2: Shhh.
MR. CHEEKY: Well, who hit yours, then? Goliath's big brother?
MR. BIG NOSE: Oh. Right. That's your last warning.
MRS. GREGORY: Oh, do pipe down.
[MR. BIG NOSE slugs MRS. GREGORY]
Oh!
[MR. BIG NOSE and GREGORY fight]
GREGORY: Oh!
MRS. GREGORY: Awa?
MR. BIG NOSE: Silly bitch. Get in the way on me?...
MRS. GREGORY: Ow!...
MR. BIG NOSE: Break it up-- oh. Oh!
MANDY: Oh, come on. Let's go to the stoning.
BRIAN: All right.
[music]
FRANCIS: Well, blessed is just about everyone with a vested interest in the status quo, as far as I can tell, Reg.
REG: Yeah. Well, what Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.
JUDITH: Yes, yes. Absolutely, Reg. Yes, I see.
MANDY: Oh, come on, Brian, or they'll have stoned him before we get there.
BRIAN: All right.
and then there's the ritual stoning for men only .. thats a goodie
and the ex-leper cured by Jesus .. brilliant! and very clever
EX-LEPER: Alms for an ex-leper. Bloody donkey owners. All the same, aren't they? Never have any change. Oh, here's a touch. Spare a talent for an
old ex-leper.
MANDY: Buzz off!
EX-LEPER: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
MANDY: A talent? That's more than he earns in a month.
EX-LEPER: Half a talent, then.
MANDY: No, go away!
EX-LEPER: Come on, Big Nose. Let's haggle.
BRIAN: What?
EX-LEPER: All right. Cut the haggling. Say you open at one shekel. I start at two thousand. We close about eighteen hundred.
BRIAN: No.
EX-LEPER: Seventeen-fifty?
MANDY: Go away!
EX-LEPER: Seventeen-forty.
MANDY: Look. Will you leave him alone?
EX-LEPER: All right. Two shekels. Just two. Isn't this fun, eh?
MANDY: Look. He's not giving you any money, so piss off!
EX-LEPER: All right, sir. My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.
BRIAN: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
EX-LEPER: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
BRIAN: Well, what happened?
EX-LEPER: I was cured, sir.
BRIAN: Cured?
EX-LEPER: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
BRIAN: Who cured you?
EX-LEPER: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a
trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.' Bloody do-gooder.
BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me
a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my
French, sir, but, uh--
MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out.
BRIAN: There you are.
EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story?
BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people.
EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
[baaaa]
[clunk]
and the worshipping the gourd and the sandal .. Maybe you have to have some religous appreciation to really get the most out of LoB .. *shrug*
and you jsut gotta love Pontius Pilate and Biggus Dickus .. LMAO ..
oh no .. i could quote it all .. its all so good..
and most definately Cov. jr. dont give up on MP till you've seen the Holy Grail and the Meaning of Life .. hellfire their great!!
). I acctually did not read any SRD between the ages of 14-15 because of Python (to memorise all about them I had to store away some other stuff). Just a connection to SRD: 
Hail Ylva
