Why did the chicken cross the road?

Post by **dlbpharmd** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:18 pm

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT problems before adding NEW problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ .....

[reboot]

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of 'cross the road'?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

Post by **aliantha** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:31 pm

Post by **Warmark** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:38 pm

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 5:54 pm

You forgot SRD: Linden stood frozen with indecision hampered by her inability to see the chicken. Barely able to hold back her tears she raised the staff of law and tried to summon the power to relieve Kevin's Dirt and expose the raver hidden within the chicken.

Post by **kevinswatch** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:04 pm

^ Haha, nice. But you forgot to use the words puissant and crepuscular.-jay

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 7:07 pm

and inchoate! hahahahah.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:13 pm

Linden Avery, the puissance of her health sense diminished by the crepuscular fug of Kevin's Dirt, held back her tears as she realized she could not truly see the chicken. Inchoate rage welled up inside her as she realized the immedicable truth of what the Masters had done, the Land no longer knew chickens.

Post by **kevinswatch** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:22 pm

It's like I'm reading a passage straight from Runes!

Heh.-jay

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:11 pm

Thank you! *bows* Thank you!

Post by **Gil galad** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:39 pm

Those are all pretty cool!

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:59 pm

ESMER: The chicken was unable to cross the road because it was jaywalking and therefore beaten down in a display of excessive force by the police.

NULL: It's the chicken's own fault for not speaking english or obeying the cop when he told the chicken to stop.

I'm sorry Es, Null I couldn't resist.

Post by **The Laughing Man** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:13 pm

Post by **Loredoctor** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:24 pm

Cameraman Jenn wrote:ESMER: The chicken was unable to cross the road because it was jaywalking and therefore beaten down in a display of excessive force by the police.

NULL: It's the chicken's own fault for not speaking english or obeying the cop when he told the chicken to stop.

ROFLMAO!!!!

Loremaster: The chicken crossed the road because of neurological imperatives.

Avatar: The chicken was expressing its right as an individual to cross the road, and government has no right on controlling the chicken's actions.

Jack Bauer: That chicken has the key code for disarming the terrorist's bomb! Damnit, it just crossed the road!

Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:31 pm

Nor Yekith: On the Oath of the Allfather I did not mutate the chicken to cross the road.

Bhakti: Hey, sexy chick! Come over here!

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:32 pm

CREATOR: Maybe the chicken will post naughty pictures of itself on KW.

LUCIMAY: The chicken crossed the road to get to his scrabble game.

CAMERAMAN JENN: (posts naughty pic of chicken) The chicken is HAWT HAWT HAWT!!!

Post by **Loredoctor** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:33 pm

Cameraman Jenn wrote:CREATOR: Maybe the chicken will post naughty pictures of itself on KW.

LUCIMAY: The chicken crossed the road to get to his scrabble game.

CAMERAMAN JENN: (posts naughty pic of chicken) The chicken is HAWT HAWT HAWT!!!

Zeph: I eat chickens.

Covenant Jr: *Chicken crosses road*
*Pulls up pants*

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:41 pm

Lore wrote:

Covenant Jr: *Chicken crosses road*
*Pulls up pants*

Post by **Loredoctor** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:43 pm

It's a joke between Cov jr and myself. he'll get it.

Post by **Cameraman Jenn** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:48 pm

That scares me even more!!!!

Post by **Cole** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:55 pm

Cameraman Jenn wrote:Linden Avery, the puissance of her health sense diminished by the crepuscular fug of Kevin's Dirt, held back her tears as she realized she could not truly see the chicken. Inchoate rage welled up inside her as she realized the immedicable truth of what the Masters had done, the Land no longer knew chickens.

Kevin's Watch

Kevin's Watch

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?