Dead of the Dark Chapter 1: A short story for the Anthology

[aTOMiC]

Removed by author. To be revised.

[Guest]

what is it?

[dANdeLION]

Lieutenant Alexander Cass wandered between the vacant stations as if he’d lost his sense of purpose. He too sported several days worth of an unshaven light brown beard.

I find this sentence to be slightly confusing. Was Cass's beard the same as Terrance Armstrong's, who had black hair, or Ensign Cassandra Bain, who was a redhead and should not possess a beard, being presumably female?

Other than that, I find the writing is very true to the mood of the subject. Case in point; when reading about how Armstrong stayed up for 72 hours, I myself felt very drowsy and almost went to sleep. I kind of wish that this was a part of a larger work, as the ending felt a little imcomplete to me. I would really like to read a longer version of this story, provided it wasn't dull and boring, and somehow ended up with Ripley venting the Talbot-thing into the vacuum of space. Also, I would like this to be a true work of sci-fi, and not wander aimlessly so much into the fantasy realm. If this were made into a movie, I think you should cast James Earl Jones as the voice of the U.S.S. Forrestal.

[aTOMiC]

Ah, the "larger work" ploy. Hmm... Cass' beard is an amalgamation of both the captain's and Cassandra. It was also electronicly enhanced. I imagined Sean Penn as the voice of Forrestal but I get your point. The Forrestal should be given a voice that clearly represents its obvious female gender.