Farewell: A very short story for the Anthology.

Post by **aTOMiC** » Mon Oct 27, 2003 6:47 pm

Removed by author. To be revised.

Post by **Landwaster** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:32 am

Cool

Umm ... what was it?

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 3:12 am

Landwaster wrote:Cool

Umm ... what was it?

A very good question. My wife asked the very same thing when she read it. My explanation was that it was a nightmare. I was inspired to write this as a scene development exercise after watching of all things the animated feature "The Iron Giant". There was a few dark scenes where the robot was in the forest during a storm and so on. I flurted with the idea that after the storm someone would happen upon Darren's body at the foot of a metal statue in the middle of a peaceful city park suggesting that he died of self induced fright and delusion.

Post by **Landwaster** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 3:20 am

Oh thank the Lord I wasn't going crazy ... was worried the answer was actually in there! I was toying with the idea of it being lightning striking him, or the oak falling on him ... but the rain on metal put paid to both of those!

Ooh I like the flurtation!

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 3:33 am

Well I just might add a touch more for clarity. Thanks very much Land, for reading the story. I'm still kinda new to the Watch but I've read comments from hierachy that suggests that stories can sometimes sit unread for a long time here. I'll try to get into the older threads and catch up on things.

Post by **Landwaster** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 3:59 am

I didn't realise you were a recent acquisition of the Watch! Thought you might have been an old stager

Yeah I think its mainly because on a messageboard we write as we speak, short thoughts and messages, and aren't accustomed to long posts, therefore we don't readily read the stories/poems, getting around to them later on, on slower days

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 11:57 am

Landwaster wrote:I didn't realise you were a recent acquisition of the Watch! Thought you might have been an old stager

Yeah I think its mainly because on a messageboard we write as we speak, short thoughts and messages, and aren't accustomed to long posts, therefore we don't readily read the stories/poems, getting around to them later on, on slower days

I've been posting for over a month but it seems like a very short time to me. When I've hit a thousand posts like the rest of you veterans I'll feel more like part of the club.

Post by **I'm Murrin** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 12:37 pm

Wow, this is a good piece of work. You're a very talented writer....

Post by **hierachy** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:25 pm

Don't take my word for it; I've only been here for a month and a half.

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:35 pm

Murrin wrote:Wow, this is a good piece of work. You're a very talented writer....

Thank you very much Murrin.

Post by **hierachy** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:40 pm

Ok I've only just read the story after posting my last letter.

You've definantly got an ability, clearfrontier. I would much like to see your gift for description and atmosphere expanded something with a larger plot. I think that with your skills you could make a story extremely involving.

I verymuch enjoyed reading this, and I am about to read your other story.

Post by **hierachy** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:41 pm

Ok I've only just read the story after posting my last letter.

You've definantly got an ability, clearfrontier. I would much like to see your gift for description and atmosphere expanded something with a larger plot. I think that with your skills you could make a story extremely involving.

I verymuch enjoyed reading this, and I am about to read your other story.

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:47 pm

much appreciated Hierachy, Dead of the Dark is a bit more involved if you want to have a look at that and if you really want to strain your eyes I have a post for "Prophecy" that I think is 11k words.

Post by **hierachy** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:52 pm

I am definantly going to read it!

But I havn't got time just at the moment

I should think I will get round to reading it tommorow, whan I post part 2 of fleeting inspiration

You are quite a writer, at this rate we'll be making an anthology full of your work

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 8:45 pm

hierachy wrote: You are quite a writer, at this rate we'll be making an anthology full of your work

Gosh no.

Once we pull together a little more participation, I'm hoping that we will be able to look at all we have, pick the gems out of each basket and have enough material to peice together something special. I plan to keep posting examples of my work for review but my intention is to provide a variety to stories to choose from. And of course I've posted yet another story.

Post by **dANdeLION** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 3:13 pm

clearfrontier wrote:
Landwaster wrote:Cool

Umm ... what was it?
A very good question. ...it was....a scene development exercise

Oh, forsooth. Any fool knows your story is indicative of man's struggle against his own mortality, his own humanity, and ever-increasing cell phone bills. And any fool can tell you who won. Unfortunately, I'm not a fool, so I have no clue as to what you were babbling about during this scene development excercise of yours.

Post by **aTOMiC** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 12:04 am

Er...thanks for that interesting comment, dAN.
You can always be counted upon for a thought provoking statement.

Post by **Skyweir** » Sat Nov 01, 2003 12:09 am

rofl ..

and yet if dAN did not offer any comment at all .. half the entertainment would be lost in that one fell swoop

LOL

<what has come to be known as dAN's signature emoticon

LOLS

Kevin's Watch

Kevin's Watch

Farewell: A very short story for the Anthology.

Farewell: A very short story for the Anthology.