Men Strike Back

Free, open, general chat on any topic.

Moderator: Orlion

User avatar
Vain
Nom
Posts: 5057
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2002 3:19 pm
Contact:

Men Strike Back

Post by Vain »

As sent to me by my little woman :)

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
------------------------------ -------- -----------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
----------------------------------------------- ---------- ----------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth !
User avatar
thefirst
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 1331
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:53 am

Post by thefirst »

As crass as that is, I couldn't help but laugh, and thank God, that I don't think a bald head and beer gut would be sexy on me, or any woman for that matter.
Has anyone seen my keys?
User avatar
Seareach
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 5860
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2004 1:25 am

Post by Seareach »

Gosh! You've brainwashed her!!!!!! ;)
Image
User avatar
sgt.null
Jack of Odd Trades, Master of Fun
Posts: 48340
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:53 am
Location: Brazoria, Texas
Has thanked: 7 times
Been thanked: 10 times

Post by sgt.null »

hey there!
Lenin, Marx
Marx, Lennon
Good Dog...
User avatar
Sheol
Giantfriend
Posts: 334
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2003 12:35 am
Location: Aladdin Wy

Post by Sheol »

Why don't they send women to the moon?

It doesn't need cleaning.
My right hand is lightning and my left is thunder.
My eyes are flame.
My heart is ashes.
Look upon me and tremble.
User avatar
foulwife
Ramen
Posts: 79
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:26 pm
Location: Crossville

Post by foulwife »

I could say so many things in retaliation, but I think there's another forum for debates, am I right?
"What you have become, is the price you paid, to get what you used to want"
User avatar
Vain
Nom
Posts: 5057
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2002 3:19 pm
Contact:

Post by Vain »

Don't shoot the messenger :)
User avatar
Fist and Faith
Magister Vitae
Posts: 25450
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 8:14 pm
Has thanked: 9 times
Been thanked: 57 times

Post by Fist and Faith »

:lol: Some good ones I hadn't heard before!
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
-Paul Simon

Image
User avatar
foulwife
Ramen
Posts: 79
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:26 pm
Location: Crossville

Post by foulwife »

Vain wrote:Don't shoot the messenger :)
Don't worry, if I shot every smug man/messenger I've ever seen, they'd have given me the chair a long time ago. :P
"What you have become, is the price you paid, to get what you used to want"
User avatar
Vain
Nom
Posts: 5057
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2002 3:19 pm
Contact:

Post by Vain »

foulwife wrote:
Vain wrote:Don't shoot the messenger :)
Don't worry, if I shot every smug man/messenger I've ever seen, they'd have given me the chair a long time ago. :P
And I'd have been shot a long time ago myself :)
User avatar
Mr. Broken
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 1308
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:49 pm
Location: The arm pit of hell, Titusville Pa.

Post by Mr. Broken »

As men we laugh at these remarks because we find them to be humorous, I know I do , but if you truly would like to gain some insight as to the power that women hold over men check out Lysistrata (questionable spelling ) by Aristophanes , you'll find that not much has changed between men and women for the last 2000 years, including humor.
Wide Eyed Stupid
User avatar
Cameraman Jenn
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 13280
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2006 11:33 pm
Location: Albuquerque NM (The Land of Enchantment)

Post by Cameraman Jenn »

You forgot this one:

Why did God create women?

Sheep can't cook. :hide:
Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....

www.fantasybedtimehour.com
User avatar
thefirst
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 1331
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:53 am

Post by thefirst »

Thank you Jenn, this thread needed an equalizer. :lol:
Has anyone seen my keys?
User avatar
Infelice
Lord
Posts: 3061
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 12:56 am

Post by Infelice »

Did anyone google Women Strike Back ?
User avatar
Fist and Faith
Magister Vitae
Posts: 25450
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 8:14 pm
Has thanked: 9 times
Been thanked: 57 times

Post by Fist and Faith »

That's excellent, Infelice! :LOLS:
"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have dinner with."

-- Anonymous Woman
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
-Paul Simon

Image
User avatar
Lady Revel
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 2372
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 2:15 pm
Location: Daytona Beach

Post by Lady Revel »

Personally, I find the jokes rather funny. I can laugh at myself. It would be different if men thought those jokes are the truth, and the way things should be, but I think for the most part they don't.

Yes, I live in a safe and sheltered world at the moment. :)

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed, moaning, groaning and calling out your name?

A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
;)
User avatar
A Gunslinger
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 8890
Joined: Sat May 08, 2004 6:48 pm
Location: Southern WI (Madison area)

Post by A Gunslinger »

Q: What's the difference between God and your Mother in law?

A: God doesn't think he's your Mother-In-Law.


Yeah i know it's kinda a different genre, but meh.
"I use my gun whenever kindness fails"



ImageImage
User avatar
emotional leper
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 4787
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 4:54 am
Location: Hell. I'm Living in Hell.

Post by emotional leper »

What's the Difference between Rick Astley and a Woman?

Rick Astley will never:
1) Give you up
2) Let you down
3) Run around and desert you
4) Make you cry
5) Say goodbye
6) Tell a lie and hurt you.

What's the difference between a potato and a woman (or a socialist or neo-conservative)?
You can have a rational conversation based solely on logic and factual evidence with a potato.

What's discrimination to a feminist?
Treating everyone equally, because then women couldn't get away with half the shit they do get away with.

What's equality to a feminist?
Having your cake and eating it, too. And the guy's cake, because all his ancestors were knuckle-draggers who robbed from women.


Seriously. I am getting extremely sick and tired of women.
B&
User avatar
Infelice
Lord
Posts: 3061
Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2003 12:56 am

Post by Infelice »

Thats a shame.
User avatar
Vain
Nom
Posts: 5057
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2002 3:19 pm
Contact:

Post by Vain »

Women are the best creation ever !! :)
Post Reply

Return to “General Discussion Forum”