Win Wayfriend's Money

[Harbinger]

I don't think I can top my fist one.

Covenant, Angus, and Min Donner walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Is that an impact pistol, or are you happy to see me?"

Min replies, " I'm out drinking with two rapists- of course it's an impact pistol!"

[Cagliostro]

Right after Return of the King came out in theaters, I thought to make a new film version of Bored of the Rings with some classic bits from the book as well as parodying Peter Jackson's version. It seemed ripe at the time. I started writing the script, and got up to the middle of The Two Towers before getting stuck, so I put it down "for a bit." And another great project dies.

I had a lot of great ideas, but these days parody movies are a dime a dozen, and the LOTR movies are so 5 minutes ago. So that ship has definitely sailed to the Grey Havens.

I had a lot of fun with Legolas, and Gimli. And especially them together bickering, and calling each other names like Keebler and Snow White's bitch.

[High Lord Tolkien]

I don't think I can top my fist one.

Covenant, Angus, and Min Donner walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Is that an impact pistol, or are you happy to see me?"

Min replies, " I'm out drinking with two rapists- of course it's an impact pistol!"

Damn, that's good.
Simple, direct, makes sense and is funny (as funny as these jokes can get anyway).
Damn-it.

[aliantha]

Yeah, good one, Harbinger!

[AjK]

I had a lot of fun with Legolas, and Gimli. And especially them together bickering, and calling each other names like Keebler and Snow White's bitch.

[wayfriend]

Bump. Last Day.

[wayfriend]

And the winner is ...

Spoiler

Brother Charn.

Not only was it the audience favorite, but it managed to use big words. I didn't understand it, so that means it must have been good.

[Menolly]

Yay!!

[High Lord Tolkien]

[Brother Charn]

Spoiler

BC does the banana dance in celebration of his victory.

There's just something extra dignified about a banana dancing against a black background, isn't there?

Can't wait for the next contest!

[wayfriend]

Well, I have another 500, so here goes.

This Week's Contest

This week's contest is straight out of Mallorys. I need a list of 26 reasons why I should give you 500 WGD. For example

• Arches cost a lot.
  Because I'm really hot.
  Cuz I like your style.
  Don't I make you smile?
  :
  :

The first must begin with A, the second with B, etc. Winning entries must have one reason for each of the twenty-six letters. Rhyming is optional. The judging will be based on theme, ingenuity, humor, and how much it rhymes.

Audience: post in this thread to show which contest entry you like!

[Auleliel]

Cool! I almost wish I wanted 500 WGDs just so I would have a reason to give this a try; it sounds like a fun challenge.

[High Lord Tolkien]

Why you (Wayfriend) should give me (HLT) 500 White Gold Dollars

Anti-Linden threads are fun (come on, admit it)
Buying THOOLAH tee-shirts are expensive
Covers the cost of the no-doze required to get through a chapter of Runes
Democrats just took more of my real money
Everybody's got White Gold Dollars, except for me and my monkey!
Foamfollower needs a new pair of boots and I'm his secret Santa. Do you know how much Giant-boots cost?
Give them to me, NOW.
Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!
I only want the money to help poor time-displaced ur-Viles find a new home
Jenn already has too much money
Kevin didn't give me any money and look what happened to him
Lord's Keep needs a new tennis court
Mhoram wants you to
No one else wants to win as much as I do
Only Mods will have enough WGDs to buy from the Aumbrie unless you help me
Please?
Quid pro quo, Wayfriend, quid pro quo
Refunds are negotiable
So I can buy White Gold Pizza for all of the Watch
There's a great, big, beautiful tomorrow Shining at the end of every day....if you give me WGDs!
Ubiquitous is the word my Latin teacher said I would never forget and she was right
Vain says that you and I must embrace but give me 500 WGD and he'll forget he ever said that
White Gold Rings cost a lot of money.
Xenophobia: prove you are free from it Wayfriend by giving WGDs to a THOOLAH member like me
You look fantastic, have you lost weight?
Zorro will take them from you eventually and he'll ruin your clothes by cutting a "Z" in them but I won't

[Cagliostro]

Will we get docked if we do a sort of Edward Lear/Edward Gorey type of A is for Aliantha type thing?

[wayfriend]

You never know unless you try ...

[dlbpharmd]

Why you (Wayfriend) should give me (HLT) 500 White Gold Dollars

Anti-Linden threads are fun (come on, admit it)
Buying THOOLAH tee-shirts are expensive
Covers the cost of the no-doze required to get through a chapter of Runes
Democrats just took more of my real money
Everybody's got White Gold Dollars, except for me and my monkey!
Foamfollower needs a new pair of boots and I'm his secret Santa. Do you know how much Giant-boots cost?
Give them to me, NOW.
Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!
I only want the money to help poor time-displaced ur-Viles find a new home
Jenn already has too much money
Kevin didn't give me any money and look what happened to him
Lord's Keep needs a new tennis court
Mhoram wants you to
No one else wants to win as much as I do
Only Mods will have enough WGDs to buy from the Aumbrie unless you help me
Please?
Quid pro quo, Wayfriend, quid pro quo
Refunds are negotiable
So I can buy White Gold Pizza for all of the Watch
There's a great, big, beautiful tomorrow Shining at the end of every day....if you give me WGDs!
Ubiquitous is the word my Latin teacher said I would never forget and she was right
Vain says that you and I must embrace but give me 500 WGD and he'll forget he ever said that
White Gold Rings cost a lot of money.
Xenophobia: prove you are free from it Wayfriend by giving WGDs to a THOOLAH member like me
You look fantastic, have you lost weight?
Zorro will take them from you eventually and he'll ruin your clothes by cutting a "Z" in them but I won't

LOL! This is awesome!

BTW, Harbinger was completely robbed last week.

[wayfriend]

LOL! This is awesome!

It does, but there are so many THOOLAH references it would suck if HLT won through lack of competition.

[Brother Charn]

Alphabetical games rock
Better than watching work's clock
Covenant's currency is cool
DW wants to rule!
Elohimfest allowed us to meet
Five Hundred more WGD's-----SWEET!
Giantish wants, jheherrin budget
HLT foiled, hope he won't begrudge it...
Illusion of wealth is nice
Jehannum demands you pay me twice!
Krill payment past due
Linden's Army Wants YOU!
Mad money to buy a certain Arch
Nyle's poor undies could use more starch
Obama needs another donation
Pro-American hooey? Just change the station
Quite entertained by contests for money
Really hoping you find me funny
Stimulus package - without more draining
Terisa is saving for assertiveness training
Ur-vile loremasters burned my a$$
Verement needs a date, fast!
Waynhim gratitude never dies
Xeroxed buttocks gather no flies
Your judgment is final, hope you're having fun!
Zero letters left, the game is done!

dw

[Menolly]

Rhyming yet...awesome, dw!!

...holding off on stating preference until all entries are received though...

Please remind us to comment on the last day we can make comments on entries, wf. Thankee sai...

[High Lord Tolkien]

Alphabetical games rock
Better than watching work's clock
Covenant's currency is cool
DW wants to rule!
Elohimfest allowed us to meet
Five Hundred more WGD's-----SWEET!
Giantish wants, jheherrin budget
HLT foiled, hope he won't begrudge it...
Illusion of wealth is nice
Jehannum demands you pay me twice!
Krill payment past due
Linden's Army Wants YOU!
Mad money to buy a certain Arch
Nyle's poor undies could use more starch
Obama needs another donation
Pro-American hooey? Just change the station
Quite entertained by contests for money
Really hoping you find me funny
Stimulus package - without more draining
Terisa is saving for assertiveness training
Ur-vile loremasters burned my a$$
Verement needs a date, fast!
Waynhim gratitude never dies
Xeroxed buttocks gather no flies
Your judgment is final, hope you're having fun!
Zero letters left, the game is done!

dw