Covenant under stress

[Sharguild]

I spent 5 years in the North West Territories of Canada, based in Yellowknife.
We frequently (as in every week-end) went on long snow-mobile runs and I was familiar with my machine (MXZ 670).
Made many runs in groups and many on my own as well.
One run did not go so well.
It was minus 40 and ice crystals, not snow were in the air. My intent was to join my group that had reached the cabin the day before. A breakdown was unsuspected and ill-timed. Middle of a very large lake on a path rarely used.
It's strange what goes through your mind when unprepared. I had a first aid kit but my survival kit was in my truck, far away.
Knowing that I was spending the night actually took an hour to realize and I was getting cold.
So, I'm camping, big deal, I was trained for this.
But funny things happen at minus 40.
Lighters don't work so well, even matches don't work well.
Luckily gasoline works great.

But sitting under a full moon with the Aurora Borealis putting on an impresssive show I thought of Covenant that eve for I was in the midst of a reading (not with me, heh) and considered why the hell he would not accept the land. Sure, it was potential suicide to do so but so what?
It's worth it.
Dying, in the service of something you believe in is worth far more thsn living for something you do not.
Unless you are craven.
I believe Covenant learned this after Morinmioss if not before for we see a dramatic shift in character at this point.
And of all things that influenced this change I think the realization that he was ALONE did it.

Next day, I got my sled running and reached the cabin. I've been on my own in the bush for two weeks before (by choice) so this was no biggie but a good time to reflect,

I'd recommend solo trips to everyone to test their concience. This was not what I did on this trip but did on a two week trip alone in the Amazon and a month long winter survival trip in Alert, Ellesmere Island,

YOU are the only thing in the world to fear. Everything else is chicken-shit.

[Linna Heartbooger]

Wow, cool stories and interesting stuff to think about... I would LOVE to see the Amazon someday. The idea of two weeks alone there is terrifying to me - probably for the same reason that it would be a valuable experience.

Dying, in the service of something you believe in is worth far more thsn living for something you do not.
Unless you are craven.
I believe Covenant learned this after Morinmioss if not before for we see a dramatic shift in character at this point.
And of all things that influenced this change I think the realization that he was ALONE did it.

I like the first part about dying in the service of something greater than oneself, but I think I disagree with the reason for this. I think that, in fact, Covenant was (unexpectedly) far from alone... given that when he thought he was just giving up, possibly to fall down dead, with nobody around... the Forest calls to the Healer, and she finds him and rescues him at great cost to herself.

I guess I don't clearly remember his reaction to her sacrifice for him. I thought that was one of the things that kept coming up in the liturgy he kept repeating to himself about the extravagant sacrifices of the people of the Land?

Though I guess I should ask you, Sharguild, in which sense do you mean "alone"?

[iQuestor]

I spent 5 years in the North West Territories of Canada, based in Yelloeknife.
We frequently (as in every week-enf) went on long snow-mobile runs and I was familiar with my machine (MXZ 670).
Made many runs in groups and many on my own as well.
One run did not go so well.
It was minus 40 and ice crystals, not snow were in the air. My intent was to join my group that had reached the cabin the day before. A breakdown was unsuspected and ill-timed. Middle of a very large lake on a path rarely used.
It's strange what goes through your mind when unprepared. I had a first aid kit but my survival kit was in my truck, far away.
Knowing that I was spending the night actually took an hour to realize and I was getting cold.
So, I'm camping, big deal, I was trained for this.
But funny things happen at minus 40.
Lighters don't work so well, even matches don't work well.
Luckily gasoline works great.

But sitting under a full moon with the Aurora Borealis putting on an impresssive show I thought of Covenant that eve for I was in the midst of a reading (not with me, heh) and concidered why the hell he would not accept the land. Sure, it was potential suicide to do so but so what?
It's worth it.
Dying, in the service of something you believe in is worth far more thsn living for something you do not.
Unless you are craven.
I believe Covenant learned this after Morinmioss if not before for we see a dramatic shift in character at this point.
And of all things that influenced this change I think the realization that he was ALONE did it.

Next day, I got my sled running and reached the cabin. I've been on my own in the bush fot upto two weeks before (by choice) so this was no biggie but a good time to reflect,

I'd recommend solo trips to everyone to test their concience. This was not what I did on this trip but did on a two week trip alone in the Amazon and a month long winter survival trip in Alert, Ellesmere Island,

YOU are the only thing in the world to fear. Everything else is chicken-shit.

Awesome post. I cant imagine being stranded in the middle of a lake at -40.

I wouldnt mind taking a week or so to do some solo hiking and camping though.

[Vraith]

I often camped for long periods when I was a kid...sometimes alone, sometimes not..that happens when your town has 2000 cows and still outnumber the people. It was nice.
But then (adult, post military, after 3 years in LA), I spent 2 weeks in the desert, just me and my dog...I can't even describe the..the..anything [a lie, but only the poets/mystics among you would care]...did it 4 more times. If I wanted to bore everyone except me, I'd post the 20 or 30 pages I wrote just talking about the changes in my dog's life.
Eventually, I buried him there [the only reason I understand why people are so attached to dead bodies and cemetaries.]

[Rocksister]

Shar brought up some pretty strong points in the original post. I have always considered myself a very small part of creation, even in my tiny little corner of the world. The mere fact that I continue to exist despite my own ignorance and insignificance attests to the existence of many greater things. I don't have any experiences like Shar's; I have led a very sheltered and home-bound life for my 53 years. But even just in the daily walk that I do with my dog, up in the woods and down the trails, I see things that amaze my feeble little brain cell. There is so much that we don't see in our daily grinds. Before Covenant's "fall from grace," so to speak, he never noticed these things, even in his own world. He went from day to day, existing, writing to make ends meet, cleaning house, shaving, bathing, never knowing what else there was to live for. I think his trip to the Land was akin to Shar's wilderness treks. It took him back to basics, in a manner of speaking, and he actually SAW stuff for the first time in his life. The Land made Covenant more human and put his leprosy in a different light for him. How can you feel so sorry for yourself when an entire Land's population of people is fighting for its continuance? Sorry, I'm babbling again. Great post, Shar. Good stuff to talk about.

[shadowbinding shoe]

So basically you're saying you're all a bunch of Hile Troys

[jacob Raver, sinTempter]

That was kind of an @$$hole thing to say?

[Earthfriend]

Dying, in the service of something you believe in is worth far more thsn living for something you do not.

This might be exactly what Covenant struggles so hard to discover. Great thoughts, Sharguild.

[CovenantJr]

Good grief. I have the survival skills of a cheese sandwich. I wouldn't have a clue how to deal with that.