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matrixman
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Post by matrixman »

Congrats, Hyperception!

Heh, the endless possibilities for this contest ended up paralyzing me. I spent far too much time searching for the "perfect" combo (but never got there).
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stonemaybe
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Post by stonemaybe »

I think we should lobby SRD to get puissargent used in the next book!
Aglithophile and conniptionist and spectacular moonbow beholder 16Jul11

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wayfriend
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Post by wayfriend »

Well, I have another 500, so here goes.

This Week's Contest

You've all heard of Jeff Foxworthy's famous list of ways that you can tell if "you might be a redneck". (If you haven't, go google it by all means.)

This week, contestants will describe some ways that you can tell if You Might be a Bloodguard. Each entry will be a sentence like this: If <something>, you might be a Bloodguard.

For example:
  • If you haven't farted since the reign of Lord Kevin, you might be a Bloodguard.
The prize will be awarded to the best entry, based on humor, crude humor, ingenuity, and knowledge of the Haruchai lifestyle. As always, the audience can participate by pointing out their favorite entries and so sway the judges in that direction.
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dlbpharmd
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Post by dlbpharmd »

If you haven't gotten laid in 2000 years......you might be a Bloodguard.
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Cybrweez
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Post by Cybrweez »

QED? No, I don't want to stop the contest, but damn, that's a good start yet again.
--Andy

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur."
Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.

I believe in the One who says there is life after this.
Now tell me how much more open can my mind be?
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rdhopeca
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Post by rdhopeca »

Yeah that's tough to top right out of the gate.

If you've developed a sudden empathy for Tom Hanks in Splash...you might be a Bloodguard.
Rob

"Progress is made. Be warned."
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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

If your idea of a devastating comeback is a single raised eyebrow...you might be a Bloodguard.
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"Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do the things it tells you to." -- Three Dog Night (via the GI)

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stonemaybe
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Post by stonemaybe »

If you've taken out your 2000-year-old-sexual-frustration by kicking the crap out of a wedge of ur-viles, a line of cavewights, a host of kresh, and you've taken the odd running kick at a giant-raver wielding Stonemight...you might be a Bloodguard!
Aglithophile and conniptionist and spectacular moonbow beholder 16Jul11

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rdhopeca
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Post by rdhopeca »

If your favorite nighttime companion is a horse...you might be a Bloodguard.
Rob

"Progress is made. Be warned."
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matrixman
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Post by matrixman »

aliantha wrote:If your idea of a devastating comeback is a single raised eyebrow...you might be a Bloodguard.
Love it, ali! :lol:

If Ramen are always sticking "Kick me, I'm a horse beater" signs on your back when you look away, you might be a Bloodguard.
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Savor Dam
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Post by Savor Dam »

DLB and Ali are already setting a high standard. Kudos to both!
Love prevails.
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon

Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold

Courage!
~ Dan Rather
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Cybrweez
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Post by Cybrweez »

Ah Rob, the Haruchai fell for the mermaids. That took me awhile, so maybe bonus points, in my mind anyway, for difficulty.

matrixman's is good, just for the picture of Ramen making such signs and pinning them on their backs.
--Andy

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur."
Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.

I believe in the One who says there is life after this.
Now tell me how much more open can my mind be?
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Cybrweez
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Post by Cybrweez »

If you can't think of any answers to any of wayfriend's games, then you might be a Bloodguard.
--Andy

"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur."
Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.

I believe in the One who says there is life after this.
Now tell me how much more open can my mind be?
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matrixman
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Post by matrixman »

Cybrweez wrote:If you can't think of any answers to any of wayfriend's games, then you might be a Bloodguard.
"We do not trust this game." :lol:
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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

matrixman wrote:
Cybrweez wrote:If you can't think of any answers to any of wayfriend's games, then you might be a Bloodguard.
"We do not trust this game." :lol:
:lol:
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"Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do the things it tells you to." -- Three Dog Night (via the GI)

https://www.hearth-myth.com/
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Savor Dam
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Post by Savor Dam »

If your contest submission is a laconic non-response, you might be a Bloodguard.
Love prevails.
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon

Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold

Courage!
~ Dan Rather
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StevieG
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Post by StevieG »

Savor Dam wrote:If your contest submission is a laconic non-response, you might be a Bloodguard.
8O Hit the nail on the head there - you are a Bloodguard! :lol:
Hugs and sh!t ~ lucimay

I think you're right ~ TheFallen
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Fist and Faith
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Post by Fist and Faith »

If you just can't fall asleep at night, you might be a Bloodguard.
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon

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Cagliostro
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Post by Cagliostro »

If you have been brutally killed in a Stephen R. Donaldson book, especially if your spine was snapped, you might be a Bloodguard. Or have been.
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Life is a waste of time
Time is a waste of life
So get wasted all of the time
And you'll have the time of your life
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wayfriend
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Post by wayfriend »

(This is turning out delightedly well. :rubs hands together: :) )
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