Limericks-Post your favorites!! *use spoiler tags if randy*

[Creator]

I did a search and amazingly there is no thread on limericks! So ... here is mine!! If yours is a bit naughty *nothing really bad please * use spoiler tags.

Here is mine:


Johnny was a chemist
Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4!!

[Orlion]

Johnny was a chemist
Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4!!

[dlbpharmd]

I'm pretty sure I started a thread on limericks once upon a time. Here's my fav:

There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time,
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd!
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."

[Dread Poet Jethro]

Spoiler

The limerick form is complex
Its contents run chiefly to sex
It burgeons with virgeons
And masculine urgeons
And swarms with erotic effex

Spoiler

Winter is here with his grouch
The time when you sneeze and slouch
You can't take your women
Canoein' or swimmin'
But a lot can be done on a couch

[Menolly]

There once was a man named Covenant
Who found himself in a predicament
When he came to the Land
He did not understand
That escape was no true medicament

The unclean driven forth from the village

With flesh newly kindled to fever
His clasp of young Lena did grieve her
Ardent haste to defile
Argent’s source in denial
Truth troubles your dream, Unbeliever

Fantastic marauder in pillage

Not all the Land’s pleasures were muscular
For Andelain’s treasure crepuscular
Set his head reeling
Soon he was feeling
Protective and rather avuncular

The protector reluctantly does homage

The Ravers triumvirate leer
Moksha Jehannum Turiya
Like damnation’s bureau
In sickly chiaroscuro
They seize ya by swearing to free ya

Infector with spiritual garbage

Glimmermere’s first inspection
Revealed no deeper reflection
Insights coruscating
Ripples undulating
Resulted from pure introspection

Deep secrets the detector must rummage

The mountain’s heart is a hallowed haunt
And Earthblood’s source is tres puissant
The quest that was planned
For the Power of Command
Was merely vainglorious vaunt

Instructor in futility at the invisible college

With grief beyond any oration
And pain that transcends all sensation
The raging Caamora
Transfigures before a
Release from time’s fierce Formication

Unusually Copious Knowledge

Despite is the ultimate element
Before we achieve any denouement
We fight only ourselves
And must look to the shelves
For wisdom beyond Fatal Revenant

Rejector of excess verbiage

[danlo]

Here's two my step-grandfather used to say-

Spoiler

Their once was a monk name Xavier
who had a habit uncouth and unsavory
with lecherous howls
he deflowered young owls
which he kept in an underground aviary

There once was a girl named Alice
who used dynamite for a phallus
when things got hot it lit
blew her bits
and her ass landed in Buckingham Palace

[Elfgirl]

Kinda got one similar to danlo's...

Spoiler

Nymphomaniacal Jill
Used a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

[Creator]

brilliant!!

[Harbinger]

Johnny was a chemist
Johnny is no more
What Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4!!

That brought back some meories. The first day of CHE 107 at UK we learned that rhyme. The only easy thing we did in that class. Except the unlucky chemist in our rhyme was Sparky.

CHE 107 at UK is a weed out course. Less than 40% of the class of 150+ finished and passed. And it was just the prep course for organic. UGH!