I'm just mad about safron

[Lord Zombiac]

As I stare up at the tower, trying to gage the distance I must climb, rain pours into my eyes. I blink rapidly, not wasting time to use my hands which are wrapped in banja leaves anyway. The sap of the banja leaves will make it easy to scale this wall. I would have worried about the rain washing the sap away, but this is a late monsoon and the rain is uncommonly cold. In my serape I carry my gherka knife, the huge blade which my lover used to decapitate bulls in one blow. He would not understand this great undertaking of mine, this new obsession. I can not return to the old life and its ways. Samdori was a mere boy, and I have at last beheld my heart's desire.

I begin my climb, thinking of the daughter of Dhargharind the sorcerer. Shestigari is there, underneath layers of silken cloth and anointed with exotic spices and oils. Dhargharind is fighting a wizard war in some horrible world far away, and he has left his daughter to be guarded by a red furred ape from the darkest forest in the world, Bhaghanshti. He is a stout beast with arms the size of a man and a mouth full of venomous fangs and breath like a graveyard. But I do not fear Aghzand, the beast. I have studied the matter for many weeks, while Samdori pleads with me not to carry on this way over such an unobtainable goal. He would nag me less had I simply planned to leave him for another man, but this is different. It can never work, he pleaded. In the end, Samdori fell to his own gherka knife, and no one will ever know that his body lies still in the well of his own father's house. Now I grip the stone fortress and strain every inch until I know I am too far to go back. To fall now is to die, and it will be more difficult now to go down than to continue upwards. I pad along, thinking of my awaiting lover. I know I will be well received, for the tower must be lonely.

Soon I am in the window of the tower. She is sleeping in a hammock, the light of a burning brazier of scented herbs illuminates her shrouded body as her delicate hand droops from those folds, an empty wine cup just out of reach. I wonder if this shall be easy, but then I see the monster looming out at me in the darkness. He is ten times more horrible than they said he was. His ribcage itself makes his golden red fur ripple and shimmer, his face is a terrible mask of anger and murder. He is huge and his arms can reach further than any sword can penetrate.

I steel myself and run forward, catching my hated foe in a moment of vulnerability. It ends with a single stroke and I hold my hand out to still the trembling of my beloved, who is coming to understand what has happened, and who reacts in just the way I had hoped. I fling off my garment to reveal my excited, anticipating organ. The arousal has definitely caught us both up as we gaze over the carcass, over whose death my lover has gained at last a final freedom.

I press myself into my beloved's ample arms, electrified at the feel of his erect organ against me. I nuzzle in his fur, my mouth puckering in lust as we squirm and twitch in the girl's very blood, shamelessly. My heated brain inhales his bestial scent as I gasp the words of desire over and over, "ape! ape!"