Win Wayfriend's Money

[sgt.null]

I'd like to thank the three people who read Flower of Doom, a book I did not write, and voted for me, probably because I did not write it!

did the Flowers of Romance play on that soundtrack - to the book you did not right?

[wayfriend]

The Test of the Ascent

• 
  Survivor: Isle of the One Tree
  
  From certain angles, certain positions, the crest looked unattainable. The Isle's ragged sides offered no paths.
  
  The ascent of the Isle promised vertigo; but he had faced vertigo before. To bear what must be borne. Ah, God.
  
  Covenant was soon panting as if the air were too pure for him. Each new upward step became more difficult than the last.

In this Test, the Survivors must be the first to get to their Top.

Each Survivor must provide me with a Top Ten List, just like David Letterman does. (We have had a contest like this before.)

The Top Ten List must be about something related to one of these four topics: Giants, Elohim, Sandgorgons, or Demondim-Spawn.

For example:

• The Top Ten Things Sandgorgons Do on a Saturday
  10. Fly very strong kites in the Doom wind
  9. Make very short-lived sand castles in the Doom wind
  8. Play very challenging volleyball in the Doom wind
  etc.

Four topics: four Survivors. That's right - each Survivor must choose a differrent topic. Survivors can decide who gets which topic in any manner that they choose. They can negotiate among themselves, or they can race to claim their choice before another Survivor does. Whoever posts their entry first gets the topic, and no other Survivor can choose that topic from then on. The last Survivor to post their entry gets stuck with the last available topic.

To win the Staff of Immunity, send to me via PM the answers to the following questions:

1. What title did Covenant give himself that began with the letter 'I'?
2. According to Donaldson, what is "not a light switch"?
3. Who is the storesmaster aboard the Tern's Skip?
4. What is the relationship between the Land and Saturn?

When all of the entries are in, the audience will vote for the Survivor whom they consider to have surpassed the others in this contest. Then the winner of the Staff of Immunity will be revealed. The Survivor with the least number of votes will leave the Isle with a cash prize of 10 WGD. However, the Survivor who has won the Staff of Immunity cannot be voted off. The remaining three Survivors will move on to the next Test.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Wow... Ok.... um.... yikes...

[Cameraman Jenn]

Top ten things Giants like to do for fun especially if it makes their human companions uncomfortable:

10. Particiipating in Drunken Diamondraught sailboat racing.
9. Getting humans wasted on diamondraught and challenging them to story telling contests while the humans are drunk.
8. Naming their handicapped/mentally/emotionally damaged friends with emasculating and/or disability themed names to further emphasize their conditions.
7. Immersing themselves in fire to achieve an orgasmic equivalent state.
6. Defying gravity by sailing ships made of stone and wearing armour made of stone.
5. Teasing one another about their blame in incidents then trying to deflect the inflicted guilt by claiming more guilt than the one teased.
4. Dragging out conversations to an almost painful point while punctuating the dragging out of said conversation with incessant explanations about how giants like to talk a lot.
3. Emulating KW's Hile Troy's Think Tank by listening and talking in tongues until the moment it would serve everyone best and suddenly losing the ability and blaming it on Esmer.
2. Laughing at the most inappropriate moments possible so that all around are forced to laugh too or be totally weirded out.
1. Telling gay stories.

[wayfriend]

The topic "Giants" has been nabbed most ambitiously by Jenn.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Well you did say the snoozer would end up without choice so I figured I would grab one and run with it.

[Savor Dam]

Demondim-Spawn Hit Parade

10. Chains Around My Heart, The Manacles

9. Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Putupya Dukkhas

8. Exhale The Vile, Creatures of Miasma

7. The Thin End Of The Wedge, Roy Nish

6. Fire Down Below, Lost Deep Purple

5. Spearheading The Spawn, Breeding Den

4. Strike While the Iron Is Hot, Loremaster’s Jerrid

3. Ebony and…Waynhim Gray, The Dim Demons

2. Shout!, Loric and the Vile Silencers

1. You’re So Vain, Fin Dale and the Heels

[aliantha]

Who knew ol' Loric was a musician?

[dANdeLION]

Top Ten things Elohim transform into when nobody's watching:

10 - Hobbits

9 - Rockettes

8 - The crew of the starship Enterprise

7 - 1992 Olympic dream team

6 - Smurfs

5 - The entire cast of LOST

4 - The entire cast of Cats

3 - The entire cast of the Muppet Show

2 - Looney Tunes

1 - American Idol contestants

[wayfriend]

That leaves Sandgorgons for Hue of Bone.

And Survivors, don't forget your Staff of Immunity questions!

I think we can let this run until Wednesday, then start scrounging up votes.

[dANdeLION]

And Survivors, don't forget your Staff of Immunity questions!

Could you check the spelling of this question?

Who is the storesmaster aboad the Tern's Skip?

[wayfriend]

Could you check the spelling of this question?

Who is the storesmaster aboad the Tern's Skip?

Looks okay to me.

[Savor Dam]

Interesting, Way.

I agree that most of the question is spelled correctly. I hesitate to press you on this, but I would direct your attention to "aboad", which I had read as the preposition "aboard" until attention was called to it.

Was it truly your intent to use "aboad" in that question?

[wayfriend]

Oh.

Yes, it should be "aboard".

I looked at that over and over and did not notice the mistake!

[Auleliel]

Was it truly your intent to use "aboad" in that question?

Perhaps it was spelled using a Boston accent?

[dANdeLION]

I thought it was a Bastan accent.....



Maybe I should quit it
Before I end up floating
In the Chappaquiddick

[aliantha]

Yeah, Mr. No-Name, considering that you're annoying the guy who's awarding the points *and* the Staff of Immunity....

[dANdeLION]

It takes a lot more than that to annoy WF.....I know this from experience!

Anyway, the haiku-butchering part was intended to annoy the Dread Poet, not WF.

[hue of fuzzpaws]

Ten Extracts from the Bhrathrair Town Dictionary


10 - Beach: sandgorgons favourite tree.

09 - Gorgonzola: A repast sold at sandgorgons delicatessen

08 - Gyred or Fired: Process involving sandgorgons and the

Sandgorgons Doom

07 - Love letters in the sand: An activity that occurs in the desert on

14th February

06 - Nominated: One who has spoken the name of N*M!!

05 - Sandwitch: A sandgrogon that practises the occult.

04 - Sand Castle: A dwelling of a sandgorgon

03 - Sandal: One who damages a Sand Castle

02 - Sandy: An alcoholic beverage

01 - The Riddle of the Sands: Popular meeting place for sandgorgons

selling alcoholic beverages

[wayfriend]

Thank you, Hue!