Too Funny Not To Share!

[Zahir]

Don't we all know someone like this? If we're honest, haven't we at one time or another been someone like this?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS-QVduoUPU

If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am:
I'm a genuine philanthropist — all other kinds are sham.
Each little fault of temper and each social defect
In my erring fellow-creatures, I endeavour to correct.
To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes;
And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise;
I love my fellow creatures — I do all the good I can —
Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!
And I can't think why!

To compliments inflated I've a withering reply;
And vanity I always do my best to mortify;
A charitable action I can skillfully dissect;
And interested motives I'm delighted to detect;
I know ev'rybody's income and what ev'rybody earns;
And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns;
But to benefit humanity however much I plan,
Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!
And I can't think why!

I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be;
You'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee,
I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer,
I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer.
To ev'rybody's prejudice I know a thing or two;
I can tell a woman's age in half a minute — AND I DO!
But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can,
Yet ev'rybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!
And I can't think why!

[peter]

Remind's me of the imimitable Duke of Plaza-Tore;-

In enterprise of martial kind when there was any fighting
He led his army from behind (he found it less exiting).
But when away his regiment ran his place was in the fore,
That celebrated, underrated, cultivated nobleman - the Duke of Plaza-tore
In the first and foremost flight (Ha Ha)
You always found that Knight (Ha Ha)
That celebrated, underrated, cultivated nobleman - the Duke of Plaza-Tore

[Cambo]

Brave Sir Robin ran away
Bravely ran away away
When danger reared its ugly head
He boldly turned his tail and fled
Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely turning to his feet
He beat a very bold retreat
Bravest of the Brave, Sir Robin!