How do you feel today? v. 3.0

[Cambo]

That's almost exactly what my last girlfriend said...

[aliantha]

Cambo:

Jenn, it's funny you mentioned how your stepdad had to show up to straighten out your tuition debacle. Magickmaker was complaining to some of her friends, and one friend told her that when her mom called, this woman in the business office would basically ignore her -- but if her dad called, Business Office Woman was all "yes sir, right away sir." Turns out the woman is kind of elderly. Given the stupid stuff I've been doing at work myself lately, I then became inclined to give her a bit of a break....

[CovenantJr]

Jaz, I think you just did. When one of our cats was a kitten, and I was learning how to knit socks on double-pointed needles, I put down the sock I was working on next to me on the couch to do something. When I turned back and looked down, the kitten had sunk his tiny, needle-sharp teeth into one of my skinny bamboo sock needles and was pulling it out of the sock. After chasing him away, I picked up the sock to try to put all those little teeny stitches back on the needle -- and discovered he'd already pulled out one needle before I caught him. I still use those needles, despite the fact the one end of one is kind of chewed...

Sooo, Magickmaker's in her final semester of college, and she is over dealing with the administration there, and so am I. Exhibit 1: In settling up her bill for the final semester, I looked over the last few months' statements and noticed that $500 had disappeared from her account sometime in early December. So I sent an e-mail to the business office Monday. Having heard nothing by yesterday, I called -- no answer, left voicemail for the woman. Having still heard nothing today, Magickmaker went by the business office. Turns out the woman had screwed up an entry *last* year, when Magickmaker pulled $500 out of her account for books and stuff -- instead of debiting her account in spring 2010, she debited it in spring 2011. Oh, and the reason we didn't hear back is that this woman had been too busy on some project or another, so she *hadn't checked her e-mail or voicemail*. For two whole days. I think I need a job like that....

Exhibit 2: Magickmaker finally got around to declaring her minor in psychology this week. After she put in the paperwork, she got an e-mail from the registrar, saying she was missing a required class -- which Magickmaker tested out of in her freshman year. She called the registrar and told her this; Registrar Lady said it wasn't on her record, so she'd have to talk to the head of the Psych Dept. and get him to sign a letter that she had in fact tested out of the class. Psych Dept. head wasn't in. So Magickmaker goes over to the registrar's office and asks the person there whether they keep the test scores. No, the person says. "But I have them," someone in the next office says. In the meantime, Registrar Lady walks out of her *own* office -- which is, like, three doors away from the office of the woman who has the test scores. Seriously? You're going to make the girl run all over the freaking campus to get a piece of information that you could have gotten yourself by hollering out your door?

I hate admin, and particularly university admin. I think I have a particularly low tolerance for their crap because I did admin jobs for several years (including at a university) and know just how easy it is to do the job properly. I particularly loved it when I was an undergrad and the administrator for the School of History treated us all with disdain, as though students were beneath her and not worth her time. I spent three years fighting the urge to tell her I used to do her job at a larger university than this one, and progressed to being a student.

[Cameraman Jenn]

I can not believe you held out for three years, CovJr. Ali, I think that woman was just a miserable human who's only entertainment was being difficult and making other people miserable in order to give her life some meaning.

On other notes. I baked my crew some red velvet cupcakes for wednesday night and apparently the mid crew hoovered them before two of my night crew guys got a taste. I was mortified when I found out. I only found out because tomorrow is Erick's last day and he's been great to me. He's the ideal worker. He does everything he is supposed to do in a highly efficient manner and does any extra stuff you ask him without complaint. He's also a very mellow easy going personality and fun to be around. I am going to miss him but I can't begrudge his leaving since this job is too much for him with a full college schedule. Anyway, I digress, I asked Erick if there was something special I could bake him for his last day and he said, "I would love some of those same red velvet cupcakes because I never got to try them and I was looking forward to them." I said, "What? There were a few when you came in!" He said that he was waiting until after his dinner break to have one for dessert and they were gone by then and he had never had red velvet cake before. So tonight I baked a new twist on them. Royal purple velvet cupcakes. I was all out of red food coloring and the corner market doesn't carry food coloring. So they are dark purple. I haven't tried one yet but they smell heavenly and the one I ate from the last batch was delicious. I changed up the icing though, it's still cream cheese but has a touch of bourbon in it. The icing tastes heavenly. On the down side, feels like my arm is going to fall off because the mixer died so I had to hand beat everything. Oh well, it's worth it. He's a great kid and I hope he goes on to much bigger and better things. I am waiting for the proper cooling on the cupcakes before I ice them and decorate them with a letter on some that spell out "Good Luck Erick." Tomorrow I am going to insist that none of the message cupcakes get eaten until Erick gets to work. That way he's sure to get one.

[CovenantJr]

I can not believe you held out for three years, CovJr.

You're forgetting where I'm from. We don't actually say things like that here.

[JazFusion]

Jaz, I think you just did. When one of our cats was a kitten, and I was learning how to knit socks on double-pointed needles, I put down the sock I was working on next to me on the couch to do something. When I turned back and looked down, the kitten had sunk his tiny, needle-sharp teeth into one of my skinny bamboo sock needles and was pulling it out of the sock. After chasing him away, I picked up the sock to try to put all those little teeny stitches back on the needle -- and discovered he'd already pulled out one needle before I caught him. I still use those needles, despite the fact the one end of one is kind of chewed...

haha! But I didn't drop a link to the store. I only have one hat and some crappy art. You can see it here, if you like.

Bamboo needles really are the best. My son takes my metal ones and bends them. While I'm sure the needles don't necessarily need to be straight, it bothers me to no end. I'm OCD like that, though.

Sooo.....update on the move thing. This is going to be long.

Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong with the move. We've been here almost a week, and my in-law's are on vacation which has been a saving grace for us. But both my brother-in-law's got in a huge fight with my husband; mostly because they think we're somehow taking advantage of the situation (remember: the answer to everything is YOU NEED A JOB!). My in-laws really do not want us here. And everything is just awful. The first night we stayed here, my son kept screaming at me, "I WANT TO GO HOOOOME!!". I broke down crying.

The job search is still not going well. I keep getting denial after denial. And I'm just having very dark thoughts. I have a history of cutting, and THAT is coming back. I haven't done anything yet...but I don't want it to dissolve into that again. Especially now. I know, I know...I should go to the doctor. Someday when I have the money.

But....I talked to my mom and I'm moving in with her in a month, if for a few months or so. I'm to get a job down there, and then get a car and an apartment. Hopefully my husband will someday join me, but we'll see. He said he would, but....we'll see.

I don't want all this to sound ungrateful for what my in-laws are doing for us, I am, but they are just putting stipulations on everything. And I've lived with them before, so I know what's going to happen here, and this time I can't handle it.

If ever I imagined my life thus far, I never imagined this.

Blah. That's the update. So if I go silent for a while, you know what's happening.

[Cambo]

It breaks my heart what the world does to people sometimes. I wish there was anything I could do. You deserve better, and you certainly deserve better in-laws. I really, really hope it gets a lot better for you very soon.

[CovenantJr]

remember: the answer to everything is YOU NEED A JOB!).

Of course it is. We all know that. Funny, though, how often people stop at "you need a job" without getting onto "and here's how to guarantee you get one". I wonder why that is.

I just don't understand people. In an economic climate where lots of people have it hard (or at least harder than they're accustomed to), why would anyone begrudge helping people (family, no less!) who are having trouble just surviving. The callous selfishness of it appalls me.

Each and every time you say you should see a doctor but can't afford to, I find myself hit anew by despair at the state of the US and gratitude for being born here. Whatever else we can complain about, no one is ever too poor to go to the damn doctor.

All of which makes my woes seem quite petty. I came here to whinge (and whinge I shall, regardless) but I realise now how fortunate I am that my worries are about whether I'll get the chance to do what I want to do, not whether I can keep a roof over my child's head.

So here's the whinging. I'd got my hopes up about being able to do a PhD. It's what I want. It's what I'm passionate about. But after a fairly lengthy meeting with one of my lecturers today, I feel defeated. He thinks very highly of me and is always impressed with my work, and isn't shy about saying so. But he felt he had to point out that, however capable I am, I did let myself down a bit on my Bachelor's degree. This is true, and I'm the first to admit it. Laziness, combined with a girlfriend who was jealous of anything (even work) getting more attention than her, caused me to fall short. My result was still good, but I was capable of better. The thing is, I assumed that PhD applications would be based on my Master's degree, since that's the next step up the academic ladder. Apparently, though, it's based on your first degree. The long and the short of it is he's concerned that I just won't get onto a PhD programme. And if someone who thinks my work is 'excellent', my ideas are 'fascinating' and that I'm capable of 'a steep upward trajectory' still thinks I can't get on a PhD, I'm probably screwed. I want to cry. And I did for a couple of minutes.

Still, I have a roof and enough food. I can't complain too loudly.

[aliantha]

Jaz:

And I agree with you about bamboo needles. I inherited all of my mom's knitting needles and crochet hooks after she died. All she bought were the cheap metal knitting needles, and all she ever knitted with was acrylic yarn. Are you getting a sense as to why she disliked knitting? (For the non-knitters: slippery acrylic yarn + uber-smooth metal needles = dropped stitches every time you turn around. ) I've been gradually collecting bamboo circular needles anyhow -- I prefer those to straight needles (*much* less chance of a dropped stitch). Eventually I guess I'll retire all of her straight needles, altho it makes me kind of sad.

[Cambo]

That's BS, man. How is your behaviour two or three years ago a better indicator of your future behaviour than your behaviour of last year? I. Makes. No. Sense. And it concerns me for my future prospects. Two fail grades, a C, and a failed aegrotat application last term, two aegrotats the year before...and a host of As and Bs the rest. I can just see the assessors calling me "capable, but unreliable."

[Auleliel]

JazFusion, I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.

I haven't talked to my family in almost a week, and I'm (almost) starting to feel a little bit homesick. With a 15-hour time difference, it's hard to find a time when I'm able to be on Skype at the same time they are.
That, and I miss chocolate chip cookies. Not that I had them all that often at home, but I haven't seen any here, and I don't have an oven, so even if I could find the ingredients, I couldn't make any. It's weird the things I've been missing in the 3 weeks that I've been here. Last week, I was missing my family's spice cabinet, as the only spices/seasonings I can find here are salt and pre-mixed blends that I can't translate. My mom told me she'll send me the spices I need to make my signature spaghetti sauce. I hope they make it through customs!
Tomorrow should be exciting. I'm going on a "quest", and I will be walking by myself to a place I've never been to on the other side of town.

[aliantha]

That's crap, CovJr. I cannot believe that a Ph.D. admissions committee would look at the academic behavior of an 18-year-old and translate it to the academic behavior of, uh, an academic.

Besides, there's gotta be a place on the app where you can explain how stupid you were as an undergrad and how you have learned from it and how it has put you on the road to success since, etc.

I would apply anyhow. Then when you get in, you can tell the guy how wrong he was.

[Auleliel]

That's crap, CovJr. I cannot believe that a Ph.D. admissions committee would look at the academic behavior of an 18-year-old and translate it to the academic behavior of, uh, an academic.

Besides, there's gotta be a place on the app where you can explain how stupid you were as an undergrad and how you have learned from it and how it has put you on the road to success since, etc.

I would apply anyhow. Then when you get in, you can tell the guy how wrong he was.

What she said.

[CovenantJr]

That's BS, man. How is your behaviour two or three years ago a better indicator of your future behaviour than your behaviour of last year? I. Makes. No. Sense. And it concerns me for my future prospects. Two fail grades, a C, and a failed aegrotat application last term, two aegrotats the year before...and a host of As and Bs the rest. I can just see the assessors calling me "capable, but unreliable."

It might well be different where you are. The lecturer in question is Canadian, and he told me that in Canada you're assessed on your Master's performance, and he was surprised when he discovered it isn't the case in the UK. Who knows which way it goes in NZ?

I would apply anyhow.

Hell yes. I'm not going to give up, I just feel deflated. I've got nothing to lose by applying except the time it takes me to do it, and at least one potential supervisor is really keen to have me, so maybe he'll champion my cause for admission. I guess I shouldn't hold my breath though.

I've decided that I'm going to email one of my professors for a second opinion. The man in question did his PhD at Oxford and he's quite well-versed in academia and academic politics, so I think he'll have soe idea how stuff works.

[Damelon]

What kind of bullshit is that, CovJr? Rating your earlier work over your more recent. The academic world can have strange practices, but I have hard time thinking that it's that strange.

Not saying that it's any better over here, I don't know, but you may want to research the universities over here that specialize in your field.

[Phantasm]

That's what you need CovJr - a sponsor who knows what he's talking about. Good luck

Jaz: don't give up, you just don't know what's in the future for you, and things can change from one day to the next.

[Cagliostro]

Wow...two guttingly depressing posts in one page. I'm very sorry CovJr., and especially sorry Jaz.
So, Jaz, is the primary problem not getting interviews, or is it not making it beyond the interview even when you do get one? I'm no career counselor, but I do have a friend in HR who looks at resumes frequently. He is especially busy at the moment as he just had his second child, but I might get the chance to slip it to him at some point (if his wife isn't watching....and yes, I mean the resume). I can also give some tips I've learned that help with the interview. I might not be the best in that, as if I have a second interview, I never fail to not get the job, but if it is a one interview place, I have a good reliability with getting the job. Anyway, PM me if you are interested.

[Cambo]

That's BS, man. How is your behaviour two or three years ago a better indicator of your future behaviour than your behaviour of last year? I. Makes. No. Sense. And it concerns me for my future prospects. Two fail grades, a C, and a failed aegrotat application last term, two aegrotats the year before...and a host of As and Bs the rest. I can just see the assessors calling me "capable, but unreliable."

It might well be different where you are. The lecturer in question is Canadian, and he told me that in Canada you're assessed on your Master's performance, and he was surprised when he discovered it isn't the case in the UK. Who knows which way it goes in NZ?

I would apply anyhow.

Hell yes. I'm not going to give up, I just feel deflated. I've got nothing to lose by applying except the time it takes me to do it, and at least one potential supervisor is really keen to have me, so maybe he'll champion my cause for admission. I guess I shouldn't hold my breath though.

I've decided that I'm going to email one of my professors for a second opinion. The man in question did his PhD at Oxford and he's quite well-versed in academia and academic politics, so I think he'll have soe idea how stuff works.

I don't know much about the processes over here, and nothing about the processes over there. But I'm sure one similarity is that having a supervisor to vouch for you can make a hell of a lot of difference in your favour. I had a bad term last year, all but dropped out due to depression. When I decided I did want to continue, as far as I could, I realised my honours prospects could be a bit shady. I had two separate lecturers tell me that if I wanted to do their honours papers, I was in. Funnily, these were the same lecturers whose classes I'd flunked that term.

I agree, never give up CovJr. That goes for Jaz and anyone else interested as well. Myself, I'm going to go back and do third year with straight As to show these guys just what the fuck I can do

[danlo]

Tam and I just had a fabulous date night! Grace is on an overnighter-went to Desert Fish, best crab cakes and halibut I've ever had! Getting drunk from the two Kalibers! (not-LOL)

[Worm of Despite]

The tattoo chick says she'll let me know when her schedules open for date #2. I hope to learn more about her, eh. Eh eh?