Things your parents / family said...

[Linna Heartbooger]

Let's hear it! The good and the bad, the true and the wrong, the helpful, the lousy ...and the things you knew they were right about even at the time but were oh-so-annoying to hear the say it that way!!!!

From the topics you were lectured on, even if you can't remember exactly how the monologue went (no need to try to unearth it verbatim from your memory!) ...to the little proverbs.

From the things your parents would always say... to the real gems that you just heard from your mom or dad once, but that fit the situation so perfectly. And on that last note:

"A word fitly spokenis like apples of gold in a setting of silver."

(This topic inspired by Foul's "Childhood memories" thread.)

[High Lord Tolkien]

"I can't wait until you have kids and know what I'm talking about. You're going to say ""you were right about everything Mom!"""

So true.
Unfortunately my Mom passed away before I had kids so I can only chuckle to myself at those what-might-have-been-said conversations.

[dANdeLION]

Pass.....I already said more than I should have in Foul's thread.

[aliantha]

I could recount all the crappy stuff various family members have said to me over the years. About 3/4 of them would be from my brother. No, I take that back -- probably more like 7/8 of them would be from him.

But here's a nice one (predictably, my brother's not involved):

I went to college intending to be a music major (in clarinet). I never even got to the point of auditioning for the school -- my first-ever semester of private lessons kicked my butt. I went home for Christmas with my life plans in tatters and with no idea what to do next.

I was sleeping in one day during that break when I was awakened by the phone ringing. (Our house had no heat in the bedrooms, so everybody slept with their bedroom doors open. Sleeping in was an endurance sport in that house....) I heard Mom answer the phone, and sort of drowsed through her side of the conversation with the neighbor on the other end of the line: "Yes, she's home for Christmas.... I guess the music thing didn't go too well.... She doesn't know. Maybe she'll major in journalism."

Hey, that's not a bad idea, I thought.

And that's what I ended up doing.

I never did thank her for planting that idea in my sleepy brain -- so here ya go, Mom: Thanks.

[Fist and Faith]

(Our house had no heat in the bedrooms, so everybody slept with their bedroom doors open. Sleeping in was an endurance sport in that house....)

[aliantha]

(Our house had no heat in the bedrooms, so everybody slept with their bedroom doors open. Sleeping in was an endurance sport in that house....)

Yes! And Mom did not exactly try to be quiet in the morning, either. She'd turn on the radio, fill the coffeepot, start frying bacon and eggs for Dad... I need to remember to tell Magickmaker that, the next time she gets all whinypants on me about how "noisy" I am in the mornings.

[lorin]

i like this post!!

Father
Men that wear tons of gold and flash wads of money don't have any money in the bank.

My mother when my father mentioned viagra
" I don't want any of your phonie bonies!"

My father
"Let me ask your mother what I think"

My father
"Go to college so you don't have to climb telephone poles in the middle of the winter when you are 55"

[Worm of Despite]

Me as a kid: "Grandpa, what's your destiny?"
Grandfather: "You're my destiny."

Thanks to him and the rest of my very supportive family.

[Vader]

"Don't swallow cherry pits or trees will grow in your stomach"

"Don't drink cold milk on an empty stomach - it will curdle" (So that's why cottage cheese is the most deadly weapon known to man)

"Never drink water after eating stone fruit"

"Drinking disitlled water will kill you"

"Don't fry bacon naked"

"Son, always be a good boy don't ever play with guns" (But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die)

[Damelon]

From Mom, practical health tips:

"Don't sit on cold cement, you'll get hemorrhoids."

"Don't sleep without a blanket."

From Dad, in his more salty way, some practical interpersonal advice:

"Don't be a jocksniffer." i.e., don't chase after autographs or try to hang out with people because they are famous.

[Savor Dam]

"I can't wait until you have kids and know what I'm talking about."

Yes. In my case, my parents were frequently on my case for either concentrating on my reading or otherwise not paying enough attention to whatever they might be saying.

I hope you have a child who listens to you as little as you do to us!"

Have I mentioned that Dam-et is deaf, was born that way?

Careful what you wish on your children, parents...

[Sunbaneglasses]

When I would spend the night with my grandparents my grandfather would tell me that if I was loud after everyone else went to bed that the Zillaboo would come in the house and get me. According to my grandfather the Zillaboo looked like a giant skunk with a head at both ends. According to him it was always angry because due to the fact that it "could not shit" and had 4 ears due to the 2 heads which led to it not liking loud noises. Yes, I know that's messed up.

[lurch]

"..eat a green leafy vegetable every day.."

.." don't walk barefoot in mud.."

...if you want to wear your hair like that,,fine,just do it when you are older and out on your own... But for as long as you live under this roof..no..

me and your mom are going out for the night..So.. celebrate your birthday with your friends and have a good time..okay?!

[Linna Heartbooger]

Wow, so many good ones...

Me as a kid: "Grandpa, what's your destiny?"
Grandfather: "You're my destiny."

Aww man, that's beautiful!

"Son, always be a good boy don't ever play with guns" (But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die)

...and when you hear that whistle blowin'... go hang your head an' cry.

Here's a few of mine:

My dad:
"They called Albert Einstein crazy. They called Thomas Edison crazy. They called Crazy Guggenheim* crazy.
*pause*
<as an aside> Of course, Crazy Guggenheim really WAS crazy.."
"Talk is cheap."

My mom:
"You just gotta love 'em while you have 'em." (RE: kids, who grow up, pets that have short lifespans.)
"The house loses nothing."

* Some random last name; don't remember what he usu. picked.

[Menolly]

Mom:
"You made your bed; now go sleep in it."

...'nuff said on my relationship with mom.

[dANdeLION]

I usually eschewed watching TV with the rest of the family (just the parents, really), opting instead to go in my room and read. My dad would come in the room periodically, and say"you're gonna be a ditch-digger when you grow up".

[Vain]

"Do you think money grows on !@#$%^ trees?!?!?"

[lorin]

Don't cross your eyes, they'll get stuck!

[Vader]

"You're not gonna throw THAT away?" - my father when he saw me peel an onion. To explain it, he was born Sep 1945 into a completely nuked Hamburg and learned about hunger first hand. He still can't throw away food without crying.

"Boy, why didn't you phone us?"
"But mom, we just talked not even an hour ago."
"So what have you been doing the whole time, boy?"

"Boy, drive carefully. You know how dangerous freezing rain is." (Yeah, sure - this area is famous for sleet and snow in mid August)

On our way to the summerhols. The car was a friggin' sauna on wheels, me and the little sis on the backseat (AC and saftey belts were still unkown here) fed on a lump of melted choclate and gummi bears. Ma and dad were smoking and we weren't allowed to open the windows because the ash would fly around. My sis had to throw up and I still hear my daddy hollering at my mom with his cig between his teeth "Can't understand why that kid always gets sick in the car". Those were the 70s.

[Worm of Despite]

You were raised by Inuits, given to an octopus; the octopus thought you to be a notary from a man that owed him a crab; that crab I caught and traded you for him. Would that I had that crab! Would that I could continually eat crab! Or the essence of. But alas. You. You instead.

- my grandfather to my dad