How do you feel today? v. 3.0

Post by **Damelon** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:04 pm

Murrin wrote:(I wonder if I'm the first person to say "innocuousness" on the Watch. )

DING! DING! DING!

We have a winner!

Yes you were the first person to write innocuousness on the board.

Post by **lorin** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:18 pm

Still packing and still cleaning. WHEN did I accumulate so much crap?????

People have all kinds of fantasies, dreams of great adventures. You know what my fantasy is? I imagine that one day, someday soon, I will drive, and just keep driving. No baggage, no stuff, no job, no plan. Just go. Leave it all behind. That is my dream.

Actually I've done it twice. I was working in a bank and took a one week vacation to the Bahamas. I met this guy while i was there and called and quit my job over the phone. Stayed on the beach for 8 months. Then I was DEPORTED back to the States as a vagrant! Ah, to be 19 again.

Then, years later I was working for the government and one day I just typed a resignation letter that read......"I quit". I cashed out all my money, sold my car and bought a one way ticket to Spain. Ended up staying in Portugal for nearly 2 years.

I feel I am on the Verge of Wandering once again.

Post by **Sorus** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:20 pm

I so get that, even though I have never done anything like that before. I was on my way home from work a couple of days ago and I got off the bus at my usual stop and just kept walking. No destination, just utterly repelled by the thought of going home. I've got nothing left but burdens and debt and it's all so pointless, so completely worthless. I need to do something that gives my life some meaning before I stop caring even that much.

Post by **Dread Poet Jethro** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:28 pm

We all wish lorin
Blue skies, green lights, and the road
Rising to meet her

There's another one
Penned especially for you
Are you happier?

Post by **sgt.null** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:53 pm

lorin - you do know that spain and portugal are two different countries, right?

Post by **lorin** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:04 pm

sgt.null wrote:lorin - you do know that spain and portugal are two different countries, right?

Oh yeah....they don't even like each other. I went to Spain, spent about 3 months bumming around but but wasn't in love with it. When I got to Barcelona, I took a plane to Lisbon and then worked my way down the Algarve, finally settling in Lagos. (Lagos, Portugal) and fell in love with the place and stayed.

Post by **aliantha** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:07 pm

lorin wrote:
aliantha wrote: The crocheted willie warmers, as I understand it, were just tubes. That hat wouldn't be a willie warmer. That hat would be... I dunno *what* that would be, to be honest. Altho I would be willing to pay lorin to wear it to work.
You make it and I will wear it.......and take pics to prove it.

Alas, I don't know how to crochet.

I totally get the "escape" fantasy. The only time I've ever done it was when I moved to Denver after my mom died. Usually I'm too damn practical -- I make lists of pros and cons, plan meticulously, get a new job, and *then* move. Into a new situation that turns out to be very much like the old situation shortly thereafter. (sigh) That's the only problem with running away. The thing you're running from is usually the one thing you can't leave behind: yourself.

Anyway.

Jenn, glad it got straightened out with Manny, even tho it didn't get you a new job immediately.

I promised the book club a few weeks ago that I would record a meditation for the group, so we could all do it at the same time instead of one person reading it live. Finally got around to it today. Ultimately I downloaded Audacity (thanks for the tip, Cag

) and the plug-in to convert the file to an mp3. Seemed to go swimmingly. But I see there's going to be a learning curve with Audacity if I want to do anything more than record voice files.

Post by **lorin** » Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:11 pm

Dread Poet Jethro wrote:We all wish lorin
Blue skies, green lights, and the road
Rising to meet her

There's another one
Penned especially for you
Are you happier?

I'm VERY happy to get your beautiful words, DPJ!

aliantha wrote: That's the only problem with running away. The thing you're running from is usually the one thing you can't leave behind: yourself.

Truer words never spoken.

Post by **Rigel** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 5:20 am

I spent the afternoon looking at Google's AppInventor for Android devices, and then at their AppEngine, and then at their hosting plans.

I'm now running Ubuntu inside VMWare so I can learn the Go programming language. If I don't like it, I'll switch to Python.

It's been a long time since I've been this excited about a new project. I hope the enthusiasm doesn't fail me. I've got some fun ideas for what I want to do.

Although I'm still depressed about my student loans, which go into repayment in October. Tens of thousands of dollars from attempting to finish my bachelor's 3 times... lots of "real life" reasons why I couldn't finish the first two, and now the 3rd time failed because I ran out of money. As sad as it is, I would have been better off if I hadn't sought any higher education at all.

Post by **lucimay** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:12 am

Sorus wrote:I so get that, even though I have never done anything like that before. I was on my way home from work a couple of days ago and I got off the bus at my usual stop and just kept walking. No destination, just utterly repelled by the thought of going home. I've got nothing left but burdens and debt and it's all so pointless, so completely worthless. I need to do something that gives my life some meaning before I stop caring even that much.

i know exactly how you feel. i have felt like that ever since i got back from the thelma and louise tour.

when i thought i wasn't going to get to raid anymore i became very blue for a week. but then i started to think...hmmm. free time in the evenings? maybe i should start going back to the poem shows. write some poems.
work on my purgatory story. maybe i should think about gettin a job one or two nights a week at a cafe where they have poem shows, just to be around writers again..or maybe even try to go to a piano bar one night a week and sing again... and then you know what happened?

my friend laura mann, one of the women who was in my poetry performing group contacted me on facebook and said she and 3 of the others of our group want to start a poem show and host it one night a week. we (the 5 of us) would take turns hosting it!!!! so...i'll be speaking to her about the particulars of that tomorrow evening! yay! i'm...rejoining the world!
i've been isolating too long.

and so have you sorus.
you can come to the poem shows with me!

Post by **sgt.null** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:29 am

Rigel wrote:I spent the afternoon looking at Google's AppInventor for Android devices, and then at their AppEngine, and then at their hosting plans. I'm now running Ubuntu inside VMWare so I can learn the Go programming language. If I don't like it, I'll switch to Python.

i am not certain that is even english.

i haven't been writing the fable because work has my time schedule all screwed up. like today it took me two hours to fix the mess left to me (mostly paperwork) may not have much luck this week either...

our ex-dil has to go back to NH with her husband as his father is dying. so i have to ask for weds. off so i can take our grandson in until sat.

i will be taking him to the park, rec center (and their swimming pool), library and maybe the movies - if anything suitable is playing. let me check... ugh. Smurfs? no way. double ugh.

well story time an dmaybe a movie at the library.

Post by **aliantha** » Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:59 pm

I looked at everybody's schedule last week and realized that only one of my attorneys was going to be in the office today, so I put in for today off. Last night, I got an e-mail from Traveling Guy: change of plans, he'll be in the office Monday after all.

I am not changing my plans for him -- I am still taking today off -- but I did have to change his travel plans for him last night. So I'll put in for some OT for today.

(I won't actually be paid OT -- it'll be straight time since I'm not working a full week this week -- but I'm not gonna complain about an extra hour's pay in any case.)

So today is supposed to be devoted to cleaning up the new novel, now that all the edits are in, and giving it a last once-over. Working on the cover art as well. (You guys probably have no idea what a howler that last sentence is -- I'm lucky to draw a stick house with the sides parallel

-- but a friend is helping me with it.)

Post by **Rigel** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:05 pm

Nobody's felt anything in two days?

I'm excited, because I have the day off to get a new bed delivered. I am FINALLY going to be able to sleep well!

Post by **aliantha** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:18 pm

Sleep well, Rigel!

I'm grateful to you -- I didn't want to double-post.

I am trying to bring myself up to speed in this new era of intarwebz communications. I started a new blog yesterday (gonna put the link in my sig in a sec). The day before that, I joined Twitter. (Still not quite sold on Twitter, but anyhow.) This is all in an effort to build brand awareness, as they say, for the writing effort. We'll see how it goes....

Post by **lorin** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:07 pm

hey what's up with this thread? it's slower the the nyc mass transit system. oh, I know.........where's Jenn?

So, I am sitting out on my deck of my mostly empty house and I remind myself of Miss Havesham, you know, the 9 thousand year old chick who doesn't want to leave her home. I am so sad, I feel like I have lost a giant battle. I love my house, I love the beach, I love it here so much but I have to go. And I don't want to leave

This is so hard. I so frigged everything up in my life. And I cannot believe I am saying this, but I miss my mother. She would have said "oh Ellen, cut the crap" or something nurturing like that. Actually she would have said something extetensial (how do you spell that damn word, anyway?) like "try and understand the message the universe has sent you" or something goofy like that. I used to hate when she would talk like that and now I would give anything for a conversation like that with her.

Post by **Savor Dam** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:48 pm

"You weren't created to be a failure. Sure some things may not have worked out and there have been some disappointments. But all these things helped guide you in a direction that was meant for you. Your life has purpose and significance. Try to be patient if it isn't all crystal clear just yet. For now, just know that you weren't created to fail."

Post by **aliantha** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:51 pm

I'm happy to channel your mom, if you like:

From the Great Beyond, through aliantha, lorin's mother has wrote:Ellen, cut the crap. Just try and understand the message the Universe is sending you.

You're welcome.

I gotta tell ya, the Miss Havisham comment made me laugh. I didn't see any decaying wedding cakes when I was there last.

Anyway, you haven't frigged up everything. The Universe is giving you a mulligan and you're taking it, that's all.

Post by **Sorus** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:11 am

Rigel wrote:Nobody's felt anything in two days?

I'm excited, because I have the day off to get a new bed delivered. I am FINALLY going to be able to sleep well!

So jealous.

I lost almost all of my furniture in the move, though the place came with a mattress that seems to be stuffed with medieval torture implements. I have finally gotten around to doing some painting this week, and managed to cover most of the purple and red and turquoise. I'm on the fence about the silver - I have one wall that's mostly metallic silver, though the painter ran out in mid-brushstroke. I sorta want to do the rest in metallic silver. There's also a random door in one wall. It's about 4 feet high and 2 1/2 feet wide. It has no hinges. There's a hairline crack around the edges that's too narrow to see through, but light shines through at night. There is absolutely no place the light could be coming from. The only place it could lead is the back of the bathroom wall, which is a solid wall. The daydreamer in me thinks it's a portal to an alternate dimension. The practical part of me thinks I should caulk it so bugs can't get in. The part of me that can't work up motivation for anything these days says 'meh'. It's really weird, and I would post a pic, but I don't have a camera right now.

I'm... upset about various things that are going on at work, most of which I shouldn't be too specific on. I am up for review next week, and already know I (once again) will not be getting a raise. And I'm pretty severely depressed about that. Because I work really hard and I'm good at what I do, but it's a failure-only job - don't get noticed unless I make a mistake. I'm sick of feeling worthless. Tired of feeling like I'm failing at life. Don't know what the hell to do about it.

Post by **Savor Dam** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 2:51 am

Sorus, see my post just a few positions upthread. It was originally pitched at lorin, but it applies to you as well.

Patience. Courage. You suffice.

Post by **aliantha** » Thu Aug 18, 2011 4:40 am

Hang in there, Sorus.

Your intra-dimensional door probably just gives access to the bathroom plumbing inside the wall. Maybe some doofus left a worklight plugged in and turned on inside. Sorry to be prosaic.

If it makes you feel better, I think you should keep the metallic silver.

Kevin's Watch

Kevin's Watch

How do you feel today? v. 3.0